Stranger offering to hold baby

[Dove88]

I’ve been to a very small countryside cafe this morning with my 6 month old. There was a few people in the queue that were all together in a group. They were all women of 60+ and obviously part of some sort of social/hobby group.
I got talking to one and my DD was smiling away at her. She asked if she could hold DD whilst I ordered and got my purse out of my bag. I accepted and carried on talking to her whilst I paid etc then took DD back and said goodbye.
My other mum friend who was already sat at the table said there’s no way she would’ve allowed that. Even though I was stood right next to the woman the whole time and my judgement of her was that she was just a friendly older lady who wanted to help.
AIBU to allow this?

You get to the boss of your own life. I think it's fine, it's not like you left your baby with her :-)

Sounds perfectly normal!
Ive had people offer to help me by holding a baby many times, and have also offered to help

For example I had a strangers baby sat on my lap for a chunk of a recent flight so the mum could eat her meal in peace, and someone kindly held my 7 month old last week while I folded my buggy on a bus

My DC are teens now, but I would have been quite happy with that when they were babies.

Folk have some strange ideas these days

one day your friend is going to need help from someone and she may think differently. It's sad that she sees the world in the way in which she does

Your friend is neurotic.
You trusted your instinct--correctly.

Of course not, surely that’s just a standard, friendly interaction? I would always offer if I saw someone struggle with a baby and juggling other things. Most people in the world are kind, decent people just trying to do the right thing.

I would be fine with this. In fact I held a very beautiful little baby for a mum on the bus a while back. She was struggling with pushchair, other kid, shopping bags and I just said 'do you want me to hold something for you and she handed over her lovely little boy which I was very happy with.

You didn't walk off and leave a stranger out of sight with your baby, you were there the whole time.

Of course not. I remember with DD1 getting so flustered and upset trying to get dressed after a swimming trip as she was screaming. A lovely lady came over and offered to hold DD while I got dressed and she walked around rocking her so she stopped crying. It was such a kind thing to do I still feel emotional thinking about it now!

I think it's fine! It's not like you let her take her for a walk or anywhere that you couldn't see her. As long as I have eyes on and other people look genuine and trustworthy, then I trust them and accept offers of help if I need to.

I think it's lovely - I remember vividly & gratefully the help I got with people holding my baby or grabbing a toddler while I manoeuvred the others in & out of a car.

I will always offer help where I can.

I've offered to help Mums struggling with bags and buggies in the past and been handed the baby! must have an honest face.

tell your friend it takes a village - if she's so concerned she should have offered to hold the baby

Your friend sounds paranoid. It's fine, and it was lovely to hear of someone being kind and not a story that they all started moaning about noise or breastfeeding or something.

The older generation think nothing of doing this, but times have changed. I’m always telling my parents to stop interacting with strangers and getting involved in stuff that isn’t their business. I would have said no thanks and wouldn’t have let them hold my baby.

My other mum friend who was already sat at the table said there’s no way she would’ve allowed that.
"Thank you for your valuable contribution, random mum friend. How about you do you, & allow me to make my own choices?"

How lovely. Let’s continue these kind gestures and make the world a lovely place x

Well that’s stupid. I regularly travel alone with my baby. If I never let anyone help me or hold him when they offered I’d be pretty stuck. It’s nice for people to hold a smiley baby if they want to. People get so precious about it.

Lovely for the lady and your baby. You’re a million miles from unreasonable @Dove88.

And your ‘friend’ would have horrified at me when I let a lovely elderly lady bounce my baby on her lap while I went to the loo on the train.

Gosh I accept offers of help (twins!) wherever I can!

Nope, it’s a lovely thing to do. Please continue to be your sane, non paranoid self, being friendly to nice old ladies and not treating kindness with suspicion. I bet you and your baby made her day ⭐️

People have totally held my baby for me when I was struggling on buses, and I'd do it for another woman. What's an elderly lady going to do to the baby, in public, in the space of a couple of minutes, in front of a dozen people including the baby's mother?

Having been a mother trying to juggle a baby, a purse, and a food tray many times; I always offfer this help. Your friend is wrong, attitudes like that don't make for a pleasant society.

Funny that your friend was so against it, yet didn’t offer her own hand of help!

absolutely fine OP - and probably made the ladies day too. Who doesn’t love baby snuggles!

I think you should stop telling your parents what to do. Luckily most of us are still happy to help/be helped by strangers and the world is a better place for it.

YANBU when ds2 was very tiny we went to the local pub for a drink, there was a works Christmas party in there are a group of women were fussing and taking turns holding him while I had my drink with my hands free for a little bit. I also had an older lady hold a dc when we were having lunch out and he started crying just as we were about to eat. She was on the next table and was saying eat your food while it’s hot!

I would always offer and am regularly playing boo or entertaining bored kids on the bus/in trollies.