AIBU - my DM and sweets

[Widily]

Caveat - she’s been staying with us for 3 weeks and we can have a rather strained relationship so I MBU and not her.

She has a weird thing with food where she refuses to share with anyone - fine. But she will literally sit in the living room and eat bags of sweets and chocolate bars in front of the children and will not give even one to them. They are kind of used to it now but tonight we’d all gone out for dinner, came home, kids are washed and ready for bed, teeth brushed and she sits down and opens a big share bag of sweets and proceeds to pop one in her mouth every ten seconds.

Youngest starts complaining - told clearly “no these are nannies”. Silence in the living room except for the crunching of bloody sweets every 10 seconds 😡

That's really weird and unkind of her! YANBU.

That's incredibly antisocial and weird of her! Is she otherwise normal?"

Why does she have to share her food though?

I've never shared a bag of sweets with my kids.

If they've had their teeth brushed why is this an issue on that front too

Maybe your children can get over the fact they're not entitled to other peoples things

But do you sit and eat a whole bag in front of them?!

Tell her not to do it

That's a weird a selfish example she is setting

@applegrumbles sometimes yeah

I really don't get the fuss

Although my children have never been entitled so maybe that's the difference here

Bit weird and mean of her. But I'd probably be more annoyed about her eating that many sweets in front of my kids generally.

Tell her to eat them elsewhere. It's weird and mean.

It's not about being entitled, surely it's good manners to offer? I wouldn't open a bag of anything in a group setting unless I was prepared to offer it to everyone.

If she's not prepared to share she should eat them elsewhere. She sounds mean!
We teach our kids to share dont we? Why should she get away with that attitude.

@SkirridHill

It's not a group

It's with family. In a home setting

The kids should be taught they don't get to have other peoples things just because they want them. Quite a basic concept

That’s very mean of her. Can’t she wait till they go to bed?!

This is so bizarre and rude. I wouldn't allow her to do this in my home, period. She either shares, eats them in private, or she can fucking leave.

@PollyRockets are you the OP's Mum? 😂

This is all a bit odd @Widily. How much longer is she staying for? Whilst your kids can't expect her to share, particularly if it's bedtime, it's a bit strange that she never wants to / presumably doesnt offer to treat them to any of their own at more suitable points during the day?

🙄

I'm just baffled

If your kids wanted half your chips at dinner would you give them to them?

This is just so strange, I've never even encountered children asking for sweets that someone else is eating. Not mine, friends kids or family either

Bizarre

Why is she staying? Is she elderly?

nope it’s just kind and good manners to share. Teach then that.

She sounds bloody dreadful.
Tell her to stop.
Is she this rude with other things?

What kind of sweets? <misses point of thread>

@Lagattolove

Teaching children that no means no is also helpful

They've been told no and are still complaining

That's far worse than nanny eating some sweets

I'm interested in that too 😂😂

@PollyRockets I see your point, I would not be impressed if my DC asked anyone else for anything that they were eating if they hadn't offered and would tell him off.

However, not sure how old OP's youngest is so not judging - it's his nan staying in his home and I just find it odd that she's always eating what sounds like huge quantities of treats and doesn't ever offer the DC any.

So you would open a big bag of sweets in front of your friends as well and not offer? If so, you are defo talked about in a negative manner.

Kids share a lot of stuff, they're constantly told to share by you, OPs mam and every other adult and then you eat a massive bag in front of them? I think that's so unfair and so contradictory. They're kids and trying to grasp all the rules we put on them but yet you aren't sticking to the same rules. It's not nice to not offer in any situation, there are lessons and then there are not nice things that are done.