AIBU - my DM and sweets

[Widily]

Caveat - she’s been staying with us for 3 weeks and we can have a rather strained relationship so I MBU and not her.

She has a weird thing with food where she refuses to share with anyone - fine. But she will literally sit in the living room and eat bags of sweets and chocolate bars in front of the children and will not give even one to them. They are kind of used to it now but tonight we’d all gone out for dinner, came home, kids are washed and ready for bed, teeth brushed and she sits down and opens a big share bag of sweets and proceeds to pop one in her mouth every ten seconds.

Youngest starts complaining - told clearly “no these are nannies”. Silence in the living room except for the crunching of bloody sweets every 10 seconds 😡

Phew

Was starting to worry I was on an alternate planet

Mine have never asked for something someone else was eating. Never even seen it before with friends etc. either

It's so rude

I wouldn't open a packet of sweets in front of my family without sharing and if I did, I'd have the piss roundly taken out of me. "Look at Skirrid, she could peel an orange in her pocket! Hand them out you tightwad".

It's mean.

TBF I don’t share my sweets with the kids, I get them their own but the Percy pigs are mine mine mine 😁

Wow that’s some bad grand parenting. YANBU.

Greedy. X

I agree with this.

If my kids were hungry or wanted a taste of my food then yes I have, do and will share. I can make something else if I still need to. However, if I really didn't want to give them any they would know when i say no not to push. Saying that, eating dinner is not comparable with a bag of chocolate

@Heyisforhorses

Well the concept is comparable

This is someone else's food

The children in this case are sat there moaning they can't have one when told no.

That's far more rude than what the gran is doing

Get them a load of snacks to eat in front of the tele tomorrow night and if she asks for any say no. X

@Heyisforhorses

Friends are usually invited guests

Not family

The dynamic is very different. I wouldn't open sweets I didn't want to share with a group of friends

With family I would and do. And thankfully none of my children are entitled brats so have never asked for someone else's sweets and then moaned when told no.

Is it like one of the malteser share bags for £1ish? I eat them in about 2 handfuls so to me there is t enough to share but I would buy 1 bag or me and 1 bag for everyone else to share😁

I'm just baffled

If your kids wanted half your chips at dinner would you give them to them?

Yes @PollyRockets if the children had had no dinner nor had any dinner coming ! Otherwise it's called child neglect.
What a bad analogy

It is very unusual OP for any parent or grandparent to sit munching on sweets infront of children without even offering one or when she knew children were just off the bed- she couldn't wait even 30 mins to stuff her face or at least when DCs are in bed?!

MIL has terrible manners
Sounds like her parents didn't bring her up well.

It must be one of those ‘only on MN’ things - rude not to share food, but only sweets, and only when round kids 🤣

They're kids and trying to grasp all the rules we put on them but yet you aren't sticking to the same rules

I must love on another planet because my kids are told that sometimes there’s different rules for adults than there is for kids.

If I opened a bag of sweets on front of friends no I wouldn’t share. I find it all a bit grim TBH, other people sticking their hands and mucky fingers in packets of crisps et al

The kids would have their own meal in this context.
You are just rude.

Obviously Polly meant in addition to their meal. After all, adults must share, right?

@drspouse

But I thought adults had to share if children asked for something. No?

Is it so bad if sometimes kids don’t get what they want? No wonder we have a generation of rude and entitled young people.

FWIW I don’t ask for anything other people are eating. That’s theirs, mine is mine. I don’t share food. And don’t get me started on ordering takeaways when someone says “shall we all just share it out”. NO!

Clearly you're just hard of understanding

My response was in relation to those saying you have to share food otherwise it's rude

So if your child didn't need the extra food but asked for half of your would you give it to them?

They don't need sweets. They want sweets and are being rude about it too

Can you not give them a snack? I think it's rude to mither for a share of someone else's food. It's like a dog begging at the table. Adults do it too. "Oh that looks nice. Can I have a bit?" No. My food. Feck off.

This is just so strange, I've never even encountered children asking for sweets that someone else is eating. Not mine, friends kids or family either

hilarious.

Exactly!!

Dog begging is exactly what it’s like.

If be embarrassed if my kids asked someone else for their sweets, but they don’t do this because they’re not rude.

What's hilarious?

I've genuinely never encountered it. Just so rude

Thankfully I don't know anyone with kids this entitled

I haven’t either. Is it really that common?!

This is bizarre. I wouldn't like it either. It's really poor manners on your DM's part to break open the sweets in front of your DC and just guzzle them. It's also setting a poor example in terms of enjoying treats in moderation for your DC. Yes, they're her treats, yes she doesn't have to share but part of living communally as a family is showing consideration for those around you and setting a good example for children.

How long is she staying with you for?