AIBU - my DM and sweets

[Widily]

Caveat - she’s been staying with us for 3 weeks and we can have a rather strained relationship so I MBU and not her.

She has a weird thing with food where she refuses to share with anyone - fine. But she will literally sit in the living room and eat bags of sweets and chocolate bars in front of the children and will not give even one to them. They are kind of used to it now but tonight we’d all gone out for dinner, came home, kids are washed and ready for bed, teeth brushed and she sits down and opens a big share bag of sweets and proceeds to pop one in her mouth every ten seconds.

Youngest starts complaining - told clearly “no these are nannies”. Silence in the living room except for the crunching of bloody sweets every 10 seconds 😡

How rude! Her behaviour is unacceptable.

She has choices, either buy a second bag so that others can eat some too, eat them in private or leave.

Crying? 😅

The bags are called share bags. I was talking about some of the share bags. Google share bags or type it into Tesco and they appear. The poster then swore, which seems a bit OTT. I’m laughing at her, not crying. And now you’re swearing too. 😂

So fucking what? Swearing doesn’t mean people are reacting seriously to a situation.

Yes I know they’re share bags and don’t need to Google what that means.

👍

Also those bags are enormous - who is even admitting to polishing one off per night??

...I feel attacked 😭

🤣🤣🤣

I’ve known a few people do it, although they generally share if there’s kids around, unlike piggy nana in the OP.

I don't get this. Don't you ever do anything you don't allow your kids to do?

Smoke?
Drink?
Stay up late?
Watch 18+ movies

Adults are not children. She's not a child, she can eat sweets.

As long as your children aren't entitled - there isn't a problem.

They are her sweets. Why should she share. Would your children share sweets if they had bought them with their own money

Tell your children the sweets are "nanny's special medicine"...

Is it a generational thing. My grandmother does this and refuses to share with the children. Quite a large lady aswell. To be honest I just ignore it but I’ve gotten used to it being the way she is and that’s why I always bought the children sweets. She would make comments about the children eating too many sweets despite her eating large bags full

Is it a generational thing.

No.

Bore off

Those aren't what most would consider a share bag

As they're twice as big as the actual share bags

They are the 'more to share' bags

Sounds strange to me because A. You had all just been out for dinner(this evening anyway) B.Im assuming this happens quite frequently ?

The not sharing seems a bit odd to me and seems like your Mum feels she deserves a treat that is entirely for her. Does she live alone when not staying with you? Possibly she finds comfort in eating like this and it has become a habit when she's at home on her own
Secondly, I'd be curious whether she is diabetic/pre-diabetic. No matter what kind of sweets they are a sharing bag contains an immense amount of sugar. Can you talk to her about that ?
Had she at any time in her life lived in poverty or deprivation ? Did she make a lot of sacrifices for you(and any siblings). when you were younger ?.Does she consume alcohol? If not is this her equivalent of relaxing with a glass or two in the evening ?Would you feel more comfortable if she was drinking rather than eating sweets?

I feel that this is much too complex a matter to be decided on here although you might be glad to get a sense of what others think. Some of the comments criticising your Mum or calling your children entitled are far too harsh with so little background. I hope you can find a way to deal with this without it causing bad feeling.

How much longer is she staying and why for 3 weeks so far if you have a strained relationship, out of interest?

Do we know what sweets yet?

More to the point why does she need to eat a big bag of sweets in the evening.
Didn't she have a meal
Sounds like there is something wrong with her diet