to be sick to death of people thinking they have to tell me how awfully painful childbirth is?

[betterhalf]

I am now 39+3 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and people just delight in telling me the horrors of childbirth! Today I had someone who knows my Mum say 'Has anyone explained to you how terribly painful it will be for you?'
Well, thanks for that love, you've really cheered me up! I was feeling nice and calm about the impending birth, knowing I will have pain but feeling confident I can cope, and now my confidence has been shot! Grrrrr

You will cope, but if your confidence can be destroyed by a passing comment, what will it be like with the actual birth?

its gonna hurt like shit though.

I have had two lovely births - and I'd do it again tomorrow.

Does that help at all? I'm serious!

Haha, thanks. I'm a tough old bird. I will cope, cos I'm damned if I'm going to go back and tell them it was awful!

It is a truly odd thing that people feel it necessary to tell you horror stories. Tell them you're in to S&M, particularly M, and are positively relishing the thought.

FWIW - dd was 10lb 11oz - bloody consultant (though he is marv) took the gas and air away so I accidentally had a drug free delivery! Was sore, but bearable, and I have completely forgotten the pain now. Hope all goes well for you.

TBH I wish more people had sat me down and told me quite how much it would hurt before I had my first - while obviously pain relief etc was thought about, when the time came I was scared out of my wits and thought I was about to die. But then people have different pain thresholds - I've never broken anything or had a serious illness, so had no yardstick to compare with.
I sort of see your point but certainly in my case I could have done with a scare session.
Good luck in the next week or so .

no yanbu - try to ignore it. next time someone says anything say in your best sarcastic voice " well really? thanks for that - I"ve never have realised . There was me thinking I was pregnant but apparently I'm also stupid".
Try and keep hold of your confidence/calm -sounds like you had a really good view on stuff so don't left some daft old friend of your mothers take that away from you.

Lots of luck for the big day

and yes hunkermunker, that helps. thanks

I have a really low toterance of pain, and I coped with child birth, just about! Maybe I was lucky as well.

tolerance! I mean

I do see your point - but I suppose brutal honesty is better than hippy-drippy witterings about interesting sensations and energy and flowers opening.

And I speak as a lentilly homebirther...

Good If I tell you they were pain-relief free, does that help even more?

Stripey - or they could just do neither...

I had this before birth of DD.
I used to lie awake at night, sometimes in tears worrying about how I would cope with the pain.
It wasn't half as bad as I imagined.
Think, if it really was that bad women would not go on to have more children.
Hope all goes well and remember that each contraction and each push is one step closer to meeting your baby.

And I am doing it again, due in July

everyone knows that child birth is painful though, it doesn't need to be drummed down a pregnant woman's throat

No doubt you have heard this also but yes it is painful but worth it, worth it, worth it more than you will ever know till you hold your child. Why do you think people go back again and again and again.....?

Only advice I would give is if they offer pain relief and you feel you need it then TAKE IT. I had lots of ideas about not having epidurals/pain relief etc but on the day I did and I dont regret it.

Actually feel quite envious of you about to be having a little one (childbirth and all). I have two and would like more but DH says no .

Pain is an individual thing - there is no proper scale, what hurts for me may not hurt for you and childbirth is no different,

I had both boys at home with no pain relief, the contractions felt like the IBS pain I get from time to time but there is no pain inbetween contractions.

It is a fantastic experience and I am really envious of the journey you and your DP are about to make together.

dont worry i am the biggest wuss going i have to be sedated for dentist and i love giving birth yes it does hurt you know that but its pain thats not like hurt yourself pain its powerfull and it builds up gradually you will be fine and if you are worried when you get there you can take loads of stuff i spent one labour with epidural in reading mags. dont forget withen the next few weeks you are going to meet the most wonderfull person in the world (i am quite jelous) i am not allowed any more says dh ohhhhhhhhh and think of all the cute outfits and loverly pram . xx lol

You know what betterhalf? It will hurt. I'd be lying if I told you otherwise. But barring problems, it's not something you can't handle. And as my mw said - each contraction is one less to go through and gets you nearer to your baby. Trust yourself and your body. It will do it's job and you will be fine. Don't let the pain overwhelm you, concentrate on it and use it like a surfer uses as wave. It's on your side.

And no YANBU! I really really don't understand why people say things like that. For me childbirth was a joy inspite of the pain.

9 months of morning sickness was far worse

Yes it hurts of course it does, but and this is a huge but it is not cutting your arm off with a rusty saw pain like everyone makes out. It just hurts, then the baby comes and the pain goes.

I also had a pain free delivery for DS because the midwife didn't get to my house on time with the g/a and you really will cope, I promise.

I have sisters that have had kids, so I know I'm in for a very painful time. I just object to it being rammed down my throat by people that hardly know me, and actually seem to take delight in telling me the horror stuff.

I am the biggest wimp on the earth even having blood taken makes me cry!

I have been through 2 births & came out the other side, yes it hurts but quite obviously we expect this.

If i can do it anyone can believe me & dd's birth was fast so only had gas & air!

I hated the fact that everyone said 'oh you'll be fine it doesn't hurt!'. I was under no illusion that it wouldn't hurt but I figured that lots of other people come through it and do it again so it couldn't be that bad! I only had one person who said it hurts like hell and someone jumped straight in to tell me it doesn't!