to be sick to death of people thinking they have to tell me how awfully painful childbirth is?

[betterhalf]

I am now 39+3 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and people just delight in telling me the horrors of childbirth! Today I had someone who knows my Mum say 'Has anyone explained to you how terribly painful it will be for you?'
Well, thanks for that love, you've really cheered me up! I was feeling nice and calm about the impending birth, knowing I will have pain but feeling confident I can cope, and now my confidence has been shot! Grrrrr

I think that coping with the kid for the next 18 years is worst than the childbirth.

If you get time, reading up on how to breastfeed properly. If you get the postioning wrong then breastfeeding can be a real nightmare.

Its not complusory to go through childbirth without pain relief. Mobile epidurals are marvelous. It is less painful to give birth kneeling, crouching or on all fours. Try to be active during labour, (ie. changing positions) It helps to have gravity do the work for you.

Don't lie on your back, although it is traditional its a postion designed to be easy for the doctor rather than comfortable for the woman.

Mine was alright.

I wouldn't say it was PAINFUL but then I had an epidural so from that point on, there was nothing to it. From what I experienced before the epidural, I would say it was unpleasant, i.e. intensive cramps (like heavy-duty menstrual cramps) and it didn't matter how I bent over, kicked the wall, it didn't stop.

This was not helped by dh trying to force feed me with pizza at the same time, to keep up my strength for what lay ahead

For me all that lay ahead was having an epidural as soon as I got to the hospital -) immediate relief and then I lay about or wandered about and everyone was cracking jokes until someone noticed I was pushing and - there she was. I think they squeezed her out a bit like toothpaste out of the bottom of the tube.

I think 1 1/2 hours all in all from the time we got there.

Yes, people have horrible experiences, I didn't but look around you, how many billions of people have been born since man has been on the earth and to the best of my knowledge they all came out the same way. You can do it.

The day before I was induced, lying in my hospital bed, my very own mother was telling me that childbirth doesn't hurt

Would you prefer that kind of hypocricy?

Yes, it is the worst pain imaginable and you know that by now. Don't dwell on it, but keep your options open for an epidural, knowing you might need it when push comes to shove (sorry for the pun).

Good luck.

People love to recount their stories, perhaps our "text book ones" are boring, but there must be the good ones , remember, or we couldn't have "text book".!

My pregnancy was great, my bith was straightforward, 14 hr labour, not painful, (and, i'm a wimp) small tear, 8lb 2oz baby, breast fed for 9 mths. Loved it!!

Ask for lovely childbirth stories & i'm sure the mners will oblige!

just reread my post sound like a simpering idiot. would like to add i have done it seven times and they are more painful when they are out (lovely but painful)

Mine were pain free, but I have two sections

Not nice to tell horror sories.

But just as well to be prepared for the fact that labour does hurt quite a lot for the vast majority of people.

I had more painful periods.

But I have also had three surgeries for endometriosis, so I'm probably not typical.

I wimper at the dentists and sqirmed when I had my anti d, but child birth was great, yes it hurt, but i felt in control and calm and the feeling of that little body slippng out is fantastic (less keen on the head) Pethidine is marvelous btw. If being pg wasnt so awful i'd start trying for no.2 tomorrow

I think you are being unreasonable. I mean, it's hadly a secret now is it?

For some it is v painful, others less so. Just tell them you don't want to hear pain stories till after if it bothers you.

I very much doubt any will be doing it to upset you.

'cept you MIL

Get used to it as people will continue to give you unwanted and wanted advice until your children leave home. People just like to 'bond' with other people by passing on their experiences and labour/birth is one of these experiences. FWIW, I have never and wouldn't say this to anybody unless they specifically asked but if I did I would say that yes it does bloody well hurt but actually you do forget it almost immediately and it is worth it (all cliches of course but very true)
I'm due in 5 weeks- do you think it's going to hurt?

Try not to focus on it being painful. Think more about that lovely baby you are soon going to be holding. Different people have different birth experiences and yours might be a lot easier than you expect.
My first birth was a shock but I couldn't wait to do it all again. So I did, another 8 times.
It's a bit like a roller coaster ride, as you get closer to the front of the queue the excitement builds up and as the ride starts the fear creeps in and you wonder why you ever did this, then your baby is born and it's the best feeling in the world and you might just want to do it all again

I think the worst thing about my first labour was that I felt out of control. With my second one that side of things was so much better. Just try and believe in yourself and decide what you want as far as possible - your body will probably decide, you just need to vocalise that. Yes it hurt, but, apart from a very brief spell which I later realised was transition, it was bearable.

You'd have to be a complete idiot to not already know it hurts! We have midwives and friends and family to be real about it. I'm bothered by people who hardly know me telling me terrible tales. How does that help? i also think there are people out there that like to tell you the bad stuff.

It is annoying..but I think people like to talk about it as to some it is such a kind of amazing /traumatic thing..so its like a sort of therapy to them to tell everyone they meet all about it in technicolor detail..After my first baby I wanted to tell everyone about it all the time, (thank goodness I knocked this on the head after my second as otherwise would have no mates left in RL at all!)

Just focus on your self..you will be fine..Everyones birth is different so just try to ignore the detail sharers..Good luck with it..

get point haylstones if you think thats bad wait till you meet the hv. lol

Nobody can tell, or tell you, how yours will be, bh; but whatever pain you do have can be well managed, these days - "helpful" friend of your mum may not realise that.

Good luck - hope it's quick and easy so you can tell her how wrong she was

I know my sister had an epidural with dd1, with dd2 she tried to manage without and at some stage decided she absolutely couldn't handle it any longer, told them she wanted an epidural and they said it was too late,so she couldn't have one. She said to me sort of quietly that she had definitely noticed the diff. With dd3 she had an epidural straight away.

So with that in mind, I didn't muck around. I had one straight away and it was fine for me. Then a week or so later, I met this woman from my ante-natal course in the street and she was telling me what a great birth she'd had, how she hadn't had any pain relief. She'd been out in the hospital grounds hugging a tree most of her labour and breathing through the pain which we'd supposedly learnt to do in the course. She said it worked fine for her.

FWIW no one in our course recounted a horrible birth experience later and we all tackled it differently.

betterhalf - they're idiots. Yeah, yeah... it hurts like nothing you've ever known... but then it STOPS and you've got that lovely little baby. I was in hospital overnight before ds1 and had breakfast with all these cheerful happy women... asked them when they'd had their babies and they'd all had them during the night - just a few hours before. It made me feel great! To know that I had pain to face for a while but then I'd be fine.

I found the pain of childbirth strangely familiar. Contractions are like period pains but about 1000 times more intense, and the actual pushing out bit is just like doing a poo, except as though you were passing a melon.

One thing I would say is that how you cope with pain is very, very personal and however much people advise tens machines/epidurals/water births you will only know how to deal with it when you are in the moment.

Very few of these people bother to tell you that the pain goes away instantly the baby is born. It just disappears like magic (bar any soreness or after pains) it's not like an injury that lingers and lingers.

really annoys me when people scare first-timer mothers about the pain - it does hurt but it isn't as bad as a t canal! Contractions are fine, really, crowning is an experience you never forget, lol.

I don't think I have a particularly high pain threshold but did it twice with nowt for pain relief and would do it again for sure. Good luck and best wishes!

Oh yes - best advice I had was when you push you just try to do the biggest poo you've ever done in your life. It takes a while to overcome your inhibitions but then STRRRRRAAAIIIIN!

Crowning is fantastic.