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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sick to death of people thinking they have to tell me how awfully painful childbirth is?

325 replies

betterhalf · 20/01/2008 19:29

I am now 39+3 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and people just delight in telling me the horrors of childbirth! Today I had someone who knows my Mum say 'Has anyone explained to you how terribly painful it will be for you?'
Well, thanks for that love, you've really cheered me up! I was feeling nice and calm about the impending birth, knowing I will have pain but feeling confident I can cope, and now my confidence has been shot! Grrrrr

OP posts:
Original poster
betterhalf · 20/01/2008 20:18

I'm 1 of 6 kids and my Mum has been great. She's been honest with me and I feel she's given me a balanced view of it all. I am ready for it, and know it will be painful, I just dont understand why people feel such a need to dwell on the gory stuff.I am generally pretty confident, and can cope with most things, but I suppose I feel a bit vulnerable at this late stage and dont want to hear any more negatives on it.

OP posts:
beansprout · 20/01/2008 20:18

It hurts but if it gets too much, that's what the various kinds of pain relief are for. There are no medals, it's just a bit of business you need to take care of and then you get to hold your wonderful, beautiful baby!! Good luck!!

LadyOfTheCauliFlowers · 20/01/2008 20:19

same as pelafina.

i am a total wimp and was adamant i would need everything going despite wanting water births both times.

i got water births both times as although it hurt, i also felt the pain was 'positive'.

pelafina · 20/01/2008 20:19

Message withdrawn

DoodleToYou · 20/01/2008 20:19

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kittywise · 20/01/2008 20:20

yep, it hurts like nothing else.

What's the point in saying it doesn't?

However, the pain is manageable either with pain relief or without.

It's your attitude to this pain that will make the difference.

SSSandy2 · 20/01/2008 20:21

THankfully no batty women were hell bent on telling me horror stories when I was pregnant. Actually most women were kind when I look back on it.

I don't think it's right to go about trying to scare pregnant women. I mean wtf, like is there a woman alive who thinks birth is totally painless?!

Actually I found it much worse after dd was born, I constantly had older women coming up and telling me what to do, what I was doing wrong and so on.

gibberish · 20/01/2008 20:22

Aaaw betterhalf. You won't feel a thing!

Have I told you about all my labours in minute detail yet? Make yourself comfy....

glaskham · 20/01/2008 20:23

No i agree with you DoodleToYou.....both my childrens births were amazing....i was scared first time round before the birth but if you'd have asked me 10mins after having him i'd have done it all again!! second time round i was looking forward to it, and i'd had a fantastic pregnancy, so it wasn't that i just wanted that to end!!

I will admit it was painful, but it was a pain that you cant discribe really....it dissapears the second you see your baby though!!....and i had both mine on no pain relief at all- so i felt the full brunt of it!!

Original poster
betterhalf · 20/01/2008 20:23

Strangely Gibberish my dear friend, yes you have!

OP posts:
glaskham · 20/01/2008 20:24

just to add to it, i'm being a surrogate for my friend this year.....if it hurt that bad would i really put myself through that for someone else???

gibberish · 20/01/2008 20:25

Aaaah so I have lol!

Anyway, why are you STILL HERE? About time that child of yours made an appearance!

gibberish · 20/01/2008 20:26

Wow glaskham

cherryredretrochick · 20/01/2008 20:27

Only pretson who ever felt the need to tell me horror stories was a friend who has never had kids . People are just jealous, I know I am.

SSSandy2 · 20/01/2008 20:27

I was concerned about how you could stretch that much in such a sensitive part of your body to fit something big like a baby's head through and thought it must be horrendously painful

Actually the skin gets stretched so much that you don't feel anything (as in shooting pain). The pain is the pain of the squeezing contractions and I found also a bit tricky trying to get some kind of rhythm in there with pushing at the right time, if anyone can imagine what I'm talking about.

stripeytiger · 20/01/2008 20:29

I think some people thrive on dining out on their childbirth stories - might be nice if they had just a little bit of tact and not regale their "painful" stories to someone like yourself at 39+ weeks.

Sorry to say this but, when you are the proud mum of your little bundle the story tellers will move on to regale you with their newborn baby gems of wisdom. I would be tempted to do a "face, bothered, whatever" that would really floor them

Anyway, I wish you all the very best for your forthcoming birth, you will be fine and cope admirably because that what we girls do.

glaskham · 20/01/2008 20:30

it is a bit of a shock when i tell some of my friends that i'm doing it....the ones who dont have kids that is!! and my husbands area manager thinks i've got a fetish for pain!! but i just ahve a high pain threshold, and know my body....my birth with my daughter was amazing, home birth, very relaxing, delivered my dd on my own while the midwife went onto the landing to phone the other mw to let her know i was getting ready to push!!!

gibberish · 20/01/2008 20:32

Now that's the kind of story betterhalf needs to hear!

I, on the other hand, refuse to listen . La la la la la

Original poster
betterhalf · 20/01/2008 20:53

Thanks for all your replies. I feel better for the rant!

OP posts:
pointydog · 20/01/2008 20:58

There's no point at all telling someone who hasn't had a child that it's going to hurt. People only do that to gloat.

Well, it's mean and they should stop.

notnowbernard · 20/01/2008 20:58

I used to reply with "Yes, millions have managed before and millions will go on to manage after me, won't they?"

Chardonnay1966 · 20/01/2008 20:59

don't worry about the birth, worry about after. That's the nightmare!

rantinghousewife · 20/01/2008 21:03

Haven't read all the thread but, my experience was the complete opposite. My mum actually told me that it would be just like having a really tough crap!
My first words to her post birth were 'You lied'. She said 'Well I just didn't want to scare you'. I wish she had.

SSSandy2 · 20/01/2008 21:10

But all those film scenes: Women arching their backs, sweating and screaming... I don't poo like that

When we were about 11 I think the school saw fit to show us a film about birth. That put me off having sex for a LONG time. I still haven't forgotten that film

rantinghousewife · 20/01/2008 21:15

Yep but some of those film scenes are so over acted.
Actually to the op, I don't think you are BU, you've obviously researched childbirth thoroughly and actually (Sorry, going to have to tell you this bit), it's tiring more than anything else. They don't call it labour for nothing. And that bit really surprised me.