to be sick to death of people thinking they have to tell me how awfully painful childbirth is?

[betterhalf]

I am now 39+3 weeks pregnant with my first baby, and people just delight in telling me the horrors of childbirth! Today I had someone who knows my Mum say 'Has anyone explained to you how terribly painful it will be for you?'
Well, thanks for that love, you've really cheered me up! I was feeling nice and calm about the impending birth, knowing I will have pain but feeling confident I can cope, and now my confidence has been shot! Grrrrr

It was "too early" for gas and air, because I was only 2-3cm dilated. I didn't get any g&a until I was allowed in the birth pool at 6cm. The trouble was, I had an OP labour and the early stages in particular were the most agonising thing I could ever have imagined. Walking around "to speed things up" was horrifically painful and being in the bath was physically impossible. Paracetamol was offered and that offer tipped me over the edge mentally and physically.

I hadn't wanted to use meptid or have an epidural - not out of some martyrdom, but because I was scared of bad reactions. But when the g&a was refused, I didn't fully appreciate (and it wasn't explained) that those options were still open to me - I thought no g&a meant definitely nothing else.

Bad communication, poor information provision, and panicking by me led to the most horrendous first stage I could ever have imagined. Hence I never ever want to do it again - promises that it will be better next time aren't enough to sway me at the moment.

oh god, that sounds truly awful. have you considered counseling? sounds like you've got post-traumatic stress syndrome.

Well I've seen the consultant about it and I do feel a lot better than I did. I rarely have flashbacks now, for example, and the memories are definitely fading, just not enough to allow me to seriously consider doing it again (although I have my weak moments). However ,with my history of ttc it's pretty unlikely anyway.

crossing fingers for you

Haven't read the thread, bit long, but I had 4 mums visit me when DD was a couple of hours old and I called them bitches for not letting on. They just laughed saying well you don't do you. I would'nt dream of telling myself.

Ignore them its pain with a purpose.

How awful, Twinklemegan.

Just to let you know that betterhalf had a little boy this morning - 9.1 by c section

Don't have the details yet but she went in around 5ish this morning and we got a text at 11.30 to let us know. She and the baby are fine though. Will post more on the labour announcement when i know more.

That's lovely

However we are all dying to know, did it hurt?

lol probably She had him by c section... no other details yet though except that they are all fine

Birth details to follow here once I speak to daddy.

Hooray! Congratulations, Betterhal;f! You can join in your own debate, now!

Umm -

obviously some labours are more painful than others, no matter who is experiencing them or what thier state of mind is.

But also, state of mind and relationship to fear, confidence, lack of co0ntrol etc can have an effect

and no two labours are the same. My not-notably painful 28 hour labour was OP. I actually think it was the long process and lack of baby's head pushing effectively in the right place that made it long but comfortable.

You can't generalise.

And nobody should aspire to or claim a 'badge of honour' - just be happy if their own preferred coping strategies (from hypnosis to epidural) matched the labour!

Congrats, betterhalf!

totally agree with blu apart from 'no 2 labours are the same'.i had almost identical labours with ds2 and dd2,from the amount of pessaries i needed to how long i needed the drip for.the only f
difference was dd2's timing was slightly off and i didnt get back to the maternity ward in time for eastenders.

congrats to you betterhalf

congratulations betterhalf! Enjoy your reward [baby]

Well done betterhalf - hope you're getting some of that post-birh 'high' now!

Congratulations, betterhalf!

Excellent news, congrats betterhalf!

Wow, congratulations Betterhalf! Fancy discovering the baby was breech at such a late stage. Hope you're all OK.

congratulations, so exciting-this time flies by so embrace every sleepy moment!

Message withdrawn

Congratulations betterhalf !!!
Enjoy your little boy !!

why oh why do people delight in doing that? My sil took great delight in telling dh and I how awful it would be with no sleep and baby crying all the time and it was just terrible. well yes they both cried but fgs they are gorgous and I couldnt care less if I had any sleep or not - unlike her I took advantage of daytime rests and slept at the same time...at any time of day.

Tell them to go and eat worms by themselves

silly buggers

oh and congrats to you

Thanks everyone. Birth plan went out of the window as obviously had no idea baby was breech , having been told up to a few days before that he was head down and engaged .

Anyway the contractions hurt! Had them 2-3 mins apart for 7 hours with no pain relief. Then blessed relief with an epidural and c section.

In spite of it being the complete opposite of what I had planned, the whole experience was great, and my little man is just wonderful.

congratulations