Mums who overtalk friends to speak with their kids?

[Bellysmackers]

Have times changed? When I was young I was taught to keepe quiet when adults were speaking.

I don't have children myself, but have friends who do, and I've noticed that when they visit with their toddlers I can't get a word in edgeways! Mum is constantly chatting away to the child/asking if he needs a wee/wants an apple blah blah. I end up in most cases just sitting and watching them interact. It's as though I'm not even there I find it pretty rude tbh and wonder why they even bothered visiting.

I completely understand children are demanding and need attention- but sometimes halfway through a sentence they just randomly lose total interest. It's as though they are all consumed by Motherhood and have totally forgotten how to hold an adult convo!

Thoughts...

Are your children are older? YABU given your OP is about “toddlers”

Well, quite. If you truly love your child and want the very best for them then you raise them to behave in ways that other people like.

Children these days don’t learn how to be anywhere lower than #1 on the priority list. That attitude won’t get them very far in adulthood

Doesn’t bother me in the slightest (as a childless friend). I usually stop talking as soon as I see the toddler/child approaching to allow them to converse, then pick up after they’re finished. Or I chat to the kids too. In fact, I probably ignore my friends in preference for their kids 😂.

Misread ur post and realised u don’t have older children. What u call ‘good parenting’ isn’t age appropriate. You have unrealistic expectations of being around a toddler.

I agree with the OP, my daughter does this with her children. But I must have looked a bit peeved the other day because she seems to have cottoned on and now actually asks her 7 year old to wait until we've finished.

You would be in my curcle of friends! My children come first!

Even when speaking to someone else?

You'd cut them mid sentence to talk to your child about a random flower they found?

YANBU

After having children myself it becomes quite apparent which parents are this 'sort' the ones who can never leave their little darlings, never talk about anything other than their child and yes, those who allow their children to interrupt with random shit.

Thankfully they make themselves known so they can be swiftly cut

And many will end up friendless in a few years and wonder why.

@Queenbee77

i bet you haven’t got any friends

I mean it’s totally subjective to the age, what it is they want to talk and how long you’ve been talking together as adults. Some parents pander to their kids horribly- but that’s always happened. Heads up though many many things from when we were young have been shown to be pretty toxic- also as a non parent you’re living in la la land and have no real insight and realistic expectation.

My friend does it with her dog when I go visit her, drives me insane 😡

Yes let’s, children need to know their place. This is why we have more brats nowadays. It’s called learning respect.

Precisely.

Depends on the age of the kids. Toddlers don’t understand good manners and never did.

When you have kid re-read this post …

Why?

Many people with children on this thread hate it too

Needs to be a happy medium which I think most people achieve. It can be frustrating but sometimes they might need a wee and have to interrupt others they just want attention you can't blame kids. If adults are talking non stop then does the child just wait until there finished then talk, just typing that makes it sound silly as kids are kids got to start somewhere and they will learn but again needs to be a happy medium.

I bet they're delightful 🙄

THIS!

why do these women do it to themselves!?

women who are like this - why?!

not being judgemental, just genuinely curious!

YANBU. I have kids and I fucking hate it. Don't interrupt unless is urgent.

What’s the bluey method please?

Also a product of the Seen and not Heard- generation. Would have been considered incredibly rude if I’d interrupted an adult speaking. Think we need some sort of ‘happy medium’ between that and the child always gets what it wants, when it wants it, regardless of other people’s wishes. After all, Karens learnt to be Karens somehow and according to Mumsnet, nobody loves a Karen.

I taught both of my children from a young age to come and put their hand on my arm if they needed to talk to me while I was having a conversation with or speaking to another person, instead of just interrupting. When they put their hand on my arm, I put my other hand over theirs to let them know that I am aware they want to talk and that I will speak to them when there is a gap in conversation. That seems to work well, my children still use it now (eldest is 11), unless there is something very urgent when they'll interrupt but say excuse me - for example "excuse me Mummy but X has fallen and cut themselves in the garden and is crying could you come and help". I have friends whose children interrupt but I tolerate it as I like those friends.