To think DH is being too harsh here?

[TheLostNights]

DD is 7. Baby of the family.
DH thinks she manipulates me. For example she gets upset if I can't take her to school even though I never really have done because of work. She will have a long crying fit the night before or in the morning meaning I am often running late for work. It's not because she dislikes the event or person sje is left with, she just wants me or DH.
DH says she should have grown out of this now and that I need to stop pandering to it. Aibu to say she is still a little girl and it's natural for her to do this?

My husband also always says this. My daughter is now 11 and still does it but has been diagnosed with autism (formerly known as Asperger). She struggles with transitions and sensory, especially leaving the house, so has meltdowns. It’s hard but I have received comments along the years like you’ve had on here. Ignore them. You know your daughter.

She's manipulating you. Your husband is right. It's not about being a cold parent, it's about setting boundaries.

OP why are you asking for advice if you aren't taking it onboard.
The vast majority of posters agree with your DH an think YABU, yet you appear to continue to explain away your approach.
Your DD is 7 you continue to enable she will turn into an entitled s* as she gets older. That's the problem with today's younger generation!

When I wasn't even 4 years old I remember scream crying to get strangers to buy me toys. It worked every time. I knew my mom couldn't afford it but strangers were more than willing to get me to stop crying. Children can and do consciously manipulate people.

Sounds like DD is trying to manipulate you both. The difference is that DH is on to her misbehaving, while you actually enable and reinforce her actions by treating her like a toddler.

She will always be YOUR little girl. But she will not always be A little girl.

She learned when she was younger tantrums worked on you OP. If she keeps this up it will turn into screaming, cursing and even violence to get her way. Not to mention the display will start in public too. How embarrassed would you be for your little girl to be screaming at you in the store?

How does your husband handle it when he is alone? It's clear she does it when you are around. But what happens when you're not?

You and hubby need a united front on this. A chink in the armour and she'll walk through it. And remember tantrums are a battle of will. Yours needs to be stronger or it won't work.

An NT child won't sit on the floor and cry for hours without some kind of external stimulus. So either you're feeding this, very very well. Or she's not NT.

If she's regularly crying for hours about fairly normal things, you need to see of doctor. Unless there's trauma. Auntie abusing her?

Jesus…. 2+2=5 ?

Jesus…. 2+2=5 ?

It doesn't equal zero either. So these are the possibilities; shockingly ineffective parenting, ND child, abuse, what else do you think it is?

I think That it’s horses not zebras. A spoiled child who knows exactly how to get what she wants. And mother is too scared to do anything about it.

Which was one of the things I suggested. Odd that you got so peeved.

And abuse isn't zebras. It's very common. People just like to pretend it's not.

My DS was like this and he is now diagnosed ASD.

She loves you. Catch her before she starts to get upset, build her confidence and give her a big hug and kiss.

Oooft all these posters villifying a little girl. She's 7, not 12. Still a little girl. It's a huge change for her that Mum and Dad can't take her to school. Maybe call DDs form teacher or someone at school tho, just to make sure everything is OK at the other end, and nothing has happened to upset her. Would a reward chart maybe work? A special treat for so many days without tears? I feel for you and your wee one!! Do what you feel is right for you and your DD.