To think Britain is pretty backwards with breastfeeding?

[Bluffysummers]

I just had an interesting experience (month or so ago) and I’ve been left pondering is it just the UK that pretty backwards with regards to attitudes towards breastfeeding?

as needs must, ive fed both of my kids in public, as discreetly as I can but both kids hated nursing covers, I do prefer a breastfeeding room but ones not always available and when a kids gotta eat a kids gotta eat. in the UK I’ve for sure had quite a few looks and tuts but the head scratcher for me was on hols.

so in Disneyland Paris, a real melting pot of cultures as we know, visitors from around the globe. Fed baby from numerous locations around the park, sat next to Italians who struck up a conversation (no second glance or funny looks) smiles from french people who’ve told their kids to sssh to not distract baby from milk (I speak french and broken Italian so that helps lol. Chatted to some emiratis and Turkish people whilst feeding no second glance or anything weird. No one batted an eyelid until we went to a restaurant In Disney village, and was sitting behind a young British couple. Baby needed feeding, so feed, well the woman (mid to late 20s) hit the roof and demanded the waiter reseat her, he said there were no more tables, she proceeded to tell him she felt physically sick by what was happening behind her, and asked if she could have rest of the meal to go and a dessert to go. The waiter was baffled, and asked why, and said they didn’t have takeout boxes. She got huffy and left half of her food and walked out. I can assume she thought I was french as obviously speaking to waiters in french. After the left, the waiter gave me a wink and said it was a ridiculous attitude.

but it got me wondering , is it just us Brits that are a bit backwards breastfeeding wise? I know my holiday is hardly an academic study but no other group of people seemed to react . I’m on a few social media bf groups and there are so so many posts of discrimination and nasty comments. So what do we think? Is it a UK problem?

This seems very far fetched. Breastfeeding rates in the UK are rubbish though.

What seems far fetched? She was v uncomfortable and left

Britain is known for having among the lowest rates of breastfeeding globally. We've basically forgotten how to do it, what it looks like, and that it's the normal natural way to feed a child.

I breastfed my children in:
supermarkets , churches, video rental places etc…
You are not special for being a breast feeding mum!

I fed all of mine for over a year. I've fed them all in public without a cover and never received any rude comments or looks that I am aware of. At the playgroup I attend there were three if us feeding toddlers aged 2. Pretty much everyone breastfeeds where I live in SW London.

Having grown up in another country and after living in a fair few different ones - including the UK for years - I agree with you OP. It can of course seem like a generalisation but I don’t think you’re wrong. It’s not just about breastfeeding, the UK is different (wouldn’t use the word backwards) in their attitude towards children too. It’s not a very family-friendly culture.

Sounds like you just encountered an idiot tbh.

I breastfed 2 children for 18 months each and didn't encounter any negativity at all in the UK. Or anywhere else.

I had old ladies patting the baby's head (that was weird!) as I fed, drinks brought to me, mums telling their children not to stare at the baby while they were having their lunch.

In fact, my mum and step mum were the only people to negatively comment but that was a them issue not a bfing one.

I've breastfed two kids, still feeding one. I often just whip a boob over a wrap top. I've lived in northern Ireland and home counties. Fed in pubs, parks, nice restaurants and never ever felt I've got so much as a sideways glance. I'm not discounting your experience, but it hasn't been mine.

Did you really need to add that last sentence ? It’s just rude.

Wow, way to be triggered over nothing. No where did I say I was I didn’t even say I was a minority (even though bf rates are low in the UK) more that I prefer breastfeeding rooms but they aren’t always around and needs must

Yep, British people are really uptight compared to a lot of Europe and have a real stick up their arse re breastfeeding. You can see this in our rubbish breastfeeding rates.

Well my experience was quite the opposite, albeit well over 10 years ago now… I got lots of glares and rude comments because I bottle fed my babies. One absolute gem was an NCT ‘counsellor’ who said “oh, that’s such a disappointment” as I bottle fed my son at a birthday party!

As a PP said you’re not special for feeding your baby, it is literally no one else’s business! I promise no one gives a shit.

No, she ‘hit the roof’, she was ‘demanding’, said she felt ‘physically sick’. That’s what’s far fetched.

I wonder if this is less about breastfeeding , but more about the propensity of British people to look for any perceived slight or offence, no matter how potentially minor, and leap on it very publicly in a huffy way. We seem to love to tell each other off by recording to “authority” or whoever, and seem to expect that everyone will conduct themselves in public in utter movementless silence.

Not as 'backwards' as France 🤔. Surely it's still a woman's right to choose?

Reading the first part I was going to say, oh god how horrible, I’m sorry you had to hear that, proper dickhead thing to say!

but then read your second part and I’m biting my tongue… NO WHERE did I say I was exceptional, special or the worlds best mother for breastfeeding. Calm down. And also that lady clearly gave a shit as she left the rainforest cafe halfway through her meal …

Different cultures have different beliefs, regardless of what country they come from. Being British doesn't narrow it down.

Well she said I feel physically sick and asked the waiter for another table, there wasn’t one so she left which is the definition of huffy

I put YABU as I’m not sure about your ‘physically sick’ story, it seems very exaggerated.

YANBU about attitudes to breastfeeding being more relaxed abroad though. Brits are real prudes compared to other nationalities.

Having breastfed 3 dc for over a year each I disagree. Most people weren't aware I was feeding and when people did realise they were quite happy to mind their own business.

I only had a few people comment and they were mainly older woman, all very positive and supportive.
This was 20 years ago.

40 years ago my dmum was breastfeeding my sister with a cover when a fuckwit started giving her a hard time. We lived in Germany at the time.

Yabu to assume 1 dickwad is representative of a population.

You're not wrong OP. It's not much different here in Ireland 🇮🇪

You need confidence to do it in public spaces but that comes with time and experience I've found.

Also I was 38 second time round and I didn't care so much if someone was "offended"

actually I just looked online and France has ‘worse’ breastfeeding rates than the U.K.

That’s not what she was saying, not sure where you’ve got that from.

OP, I breastfed my first for over a year and currently breast feeding my second. Never got any funny or rude looks. I live in a part of SE London where most women seem to breast feed. All except one in my NCT class did.

you do often see in papers that people have very funny attitudes like that woman.

I think you were just unlucky. I bf both mine in public in the UK a fair bit and never had any issues. Didn't use a cover either as it was too much of a faff.

3wildones
Alas while I don't think it's as bad everywhere as OP suggests, I experienced the following bf my 2 (each to about age 1)

• "friends" saying I "loved getting my tits out" after I had bf eldest (age 6 weeks) in cafes with them a whopping 3 times
• being asked to leave a quiet seating area in a golf club (DH was having a lesson on the range, I was having a drink bought from their cafe) because I was feeding 12 week old. They suggested a do it in our car.
• many, many people suggesting I quit bf to go on weekends away when babies were 3, 4 months old
• an older relative telling me bf was stopping me "getting my figure back".
• endless people getting irritated that I wasn't willing to starve DS (a bottle refuser) into taking a bottle by refusing to bf him for a couple of days (at 4 months old) in order to be able to go along to social activities baby free (I wasnt bothered about going!!)