To think Britain is pretty backwards with breastfeeding?

[Bluffysummers]

I just had an interesting experience (month or so ago) and I’ve been left pondering is it just the UK that pretty backwards with regards to attitudes towards breastfeeding?

as needs must, ive fed both of my kids in public, as discreetly as I can but both kids hated nursing covers, I do prefer a breastfeeding room but ones not always available and when a kids gotta eat a kids gotta eat. in the UK I’ve for sure had quite a few looks and tuts but the head scratcher for me was on hols.

so in Disneyland Paris, a real melting pot of cultures as we know, visitors from around the globe. Fed baby from numerous locations around the park, sat next to Italians who struck up a conversation (no second glance or funny looks) smiles from french people who’ve told their kids to sssh to not distract baby from milk (I speak french and broken Italian so that helps lol. Chatted to some emiratis and Turkish people whilst feeding no second glance or anything weird. No one batted an eyelid until we went to a restaurant In Disney village, and was sitting behind a young British couple. Baby needed feeding, so feed, well the woman (mid to late 20s) hit the roof and demanded the waiter reseat her, he said there were no more tables, she proceeded to tell him she felt physically sick by what was happening behind her, and asked if she could have rest of the meal to go and a dessert to go. The waiter was baffled, and asked why, and said they didn’t have takeout boxes. She got huffy and left half of her food and walked out. I can assume she thought I was french as obviously speaking to waiters in french. After the left, the waiter gave me a wink and said it was a ridiculous attitude.

but it got me wondering , is it just us Brits that are a bit backwards breastfeeding wise? I know my holiday is hardly an academic study but no other group of people seemed to react . I’m on a few social media bf groups and there are so so many posts of discrimination and nasty comments. So what do we think? Is it a UK problem?

I think we’ve got a way to go with BFing rates and normalising BF across different population groups. But like others I’ve fed both my children here, there and everywhere and never experienced any looks or comments other than supportive ones.

Thank you @Somethingsnappy !

There’s something about mentioning breastfeeding on mumsnet 🫣

Breastfeeding rates in the U.K. are dire. It is the norm (particularly in more deprived areas like where I live) for women to not even attempt breastfeeding and just start straight on formula, therefore there is quite a negative view towards breastfeeding.

I had my first two DC in Australia where breastfeeding education is better funded and more culturally accepted and I never once felt uncomfortable feeding in public, I moved back to the U.K. when DC2 was 6 months old and was faced with quite a few "so l how long will you breastfeed for" "I thought you had put that baby on a bottle" from some family members 🙄 and certainly got a few looks whilst feeding outside the home.

Basically what I'm saying is your experience isint surprising.

Comments like what?

InChocolateWeTrust · Today 20:01

Britain is known for having among the lowest rates of breastfeeding globally. We've basically forgotten how to do it, what it looks like, and that it's the normal natural way to feed a child

InChocolateWeTrust · Today 20:01

Britain is known for having among the lowest rates of breastfeeding globally. We've basically forgotten how to do it, what it looks like, and that it's the normal natural way to feed a child

I kinda feel like this thread was aimed at bringing a crowd of BF supporters along to cheer you, OP, as if you’ve been on MN for longer than an hour you’ll know how pro-BFing it is. Clearly the woman in France was an outlier as her reaction was highly dramatic, as well you know.

I can understand that you feel sad. But I am not sure which comment you are referring to. Of course nobody expects anyone to breastfeed when it's not medically or physically possible.

If I wanted a rapturous applause that I’d post a pic of insert some sort of semi precious gem / metal (whatever it is for 8 months) boobs

it’s the cultural attitude and tbh I think all the venom on this thread speaks a long way to cultural attitudes

I detect a love of drama from the OP. It was Disneyland, a place full to the brim with parents, young children and babies so breastfeeding wouldn’t be ‘out there’ to this demographic. I’m surprised with all the excitement of the place that anyone was really that interested either through praise or disgust.

It feels like the OP was looking for praise or issues when most people were probably knackered, hot, hungry, thirsty, trying to work out what ride to queue for an hour for next. Sounds like she eagerly looking around to catch peoples eye’s so she could judge their reactions

Thank you. The comment I'd intended to refer to was:

"InChocolateWeTrust · Today 20:01

Britain is known for having among the lowest rates of breastfeeding globally. We've basically forgotten how to do it, what it looks like, and that it's the normal natural way to feed a child"

fgs, well except this was in the evening at the Disney village but ok…I think loving the drama would have been calling said woman out and making a scene. This woman, I can only assume she’d been at Disney too but she wasn’t there with children, just with her partner.

you’ve got a great imagination, well done! Wasnt exactly staring intently at said woman rather focusing on my child and then overhearing said aforementioned exchange. But I do enjoy your creativity

I breastfed for 15 months and had no negativity at all. In fact, the only negative was how interested everyone else was about it. "How's it going? How many feeds a day? How long will you feed for?" Etc. All well meaning, but grating after 15 months of it.
My cousin has had some negativity though from people in her boyfriend's family who don't want her to feed in front of them etc, and asking why doesn't she just give her son a bottle. I think it's just horribly old fashioned imho but don't think that's exclusive to the UK

I live in a county east of London. Breastfed 3 - first 2 to just over 6 months. Third way longer but couldn't admit that to anyone I live near as they thought it was weird.

Family members thought I was disgusting and used to ask when I was going to stop that disgusting thing I was doing. Got glared at by a couple for breastfeeding 3 month old DS in hospital when he had a hospital appointment (children's outpatients). I had covered up with a feeding scarf.

I was one of 2 out of 8 NCT who breastfed and 2 of the girls made negative comments.

You feed how you like - I don't care. But I got lots of negative comments from people, so the OP isn't alone.

Friendship groups outside of this area were generally positive.

I breastfed two children for 5 years in total, without receiving bad word or strange look. Never covered up or went out of my way to find secluded places.

I had my eldest (13) in the UK in an area with shockingly low BF rates. I BF for 10 months. The local health authority were throwing money at the situation - a 3 hour class to learn all about bf, bf groups 3 times a week, a pretend "Glamour" magazine dedicated to bf.

The people I met during that time who didn't bf made comments like "I couldn't be bothered with all that" and "my boobs are for my boyfriend". I also had a women in the doctors surgery very dramatically move away from me while I was feeding as it was inappropriate for her son to see.

By contrast, I have since had 2 children (10 and 4) in Australia. The people who don't breastfeed are few and far between, and usually have tried and were unable to do it. No-one bats an eyelid at people feeding in public, I fed my babies in church and on the bus!

Obviously there is a time difference, 13 years is different to 4, but it was very noticeable.

I BF all my kids well into toddlerhood and was still doing public feeding until about 16 months with them. I mean maybe I wasn’t taking any notice but I never ever got so much as a dirty look. I got many, many comments - every single one was a positive/encouraging comment. IME this disgust about BF doesn’t really exist for the overwhelming majority of people

Can only speak from my own experience but I breast fed my kids in public (my eldest is now 19, so I while ago) and never had an odd look. In fact I don't think many people noticed.
I did have one elderly gentleman in a cafe come up after and said he was so happy to see me do it as it was frowned upon when he had his kids.

@PrincipalKraft but it is the natural & normal way to feed a child. Formula is a substitute. Fine if that’s what is necessary because of need or choice but substitute is, by definition, not as intended.

OP there’s definitely a bizarre attitude to BF in the UK. Stats will confirm that.
Virtually the whole country formula feeds. That’s all the evidence needed. Anecdotal evidence of kind comments or no “sideways glances” mean nothing. In a room of 100 women 1 or 2 are BF at six months. There’s a major problem.

The venom directed at the OP is insane! Of course breastfeeding is the natural way to feed a baby - how could it not be? Formula is created in a lab, FFS! How is that natural? You simply don't get this level of defensiveness about feeding older children processed food.

I come from a country/continent that is far worse. I breastfed my babies all over london (including on a bus once when I had no other option) and never had one moment of weirdness. So my experience of the UK is that it is quite breastfeeding-friendly!!

What country is that? :)

Do you put breast milk in your own tea then, if you find it so sad?

I was that formula feeding mum in my group- I chose my mental health over breastfeeding as I was suicidal and had to choose between breastfeeding and the medication that meant my daughter had a functioning mother.

If anything, I found people more judgemental about not breastfeeding, but I am also in a part of SE London where everyone does it.