Page 6 | DH examines his family members

mercury101 · 2022-08-08T17:23:07+00:00

Is this strange? My DH is a doctor. I am too. Whenever we go and visit his family, if one of them has a cough or cold they ask him to bring his stethoscope and to examine them by listening to their chest. My family have never asked this of me and I don't think ever would. Even if they did, I think I'd ask them to see their own GP anyway. I find it weird him examining his sister and mother. AIBU?

user29 · 08/08/2022 20:33

A friend who is a GP gives unsolicited consultations which i find a bit nnoying. Once she told a mutual friend, who was talking about his mum who had been ill recently, that the symptoms were cancer. It did turn out to be , but i think she could have kept her mouth shut

itsnotmeitisactuallyyou · 08/08/2022 20:33

Unless he is examining their privates its perfectly ok,whats the big deal?

Sunnysideup999 · 08/08/2022 20:34

the members of my family who are medical run a mile if someone asks for any kind of medical advice!
same with the lawyers being asked for legal advice! 😆

Blue4YOU · 08/08/2022 20:37

It’s not appropriate (not in a sexual or creepy way) to examine family members.
did the Op say it’s creepy?

birthdaywildlifefund · 08/08/2022 20:39

I’m a doctor and I’m exhausted because I’m getting medical queries several times a day from pretty much everyone I know. It will range from advice regarding chronic conditions that I have no background information on to “I have X random symptom, what could that be, is it serious?”. Problem is even if I don’t think it’s serious I have to check all the red flags and make a professional decision whether to reassure or not. I then worry if I’ve missed something. I struggle to say no completely as I know the person is genuinely worried but I usually suggest if they think it needs looked at to see GP/call 111.

I honestly don’t mind once in a while/in an emergency but it’s happening every day with different people at the moment.

MarshaMelrose · 08/08/2022 20:47

Sunnysideup999 · 08/08/2022 20:34

the members of my family who are medical run a mile if someone asks for any kind of medical advice!
same with the lawyers being asked for legal advice! 😆

I remember going on a blind date with a lawyer to a dinner party. I was looking at having an extension done to the house and was chatting to a friend who did interior design as a hobby about how big an extension was before getting planning permission and my date butted in and said, if you want information from me, you need to book an appointment. I don't give free advice. I'd never even asked him. The irony was later he enquired from a guy who was a gardener about plants best for the orientation of his garden.

I guess, all professions are equal but some are more equal than others. 😁

MarshaMelrose · 08/08/2022 20:50

Actually I think that it's unfair of friends and family to ask him. My ex is a GP and at every dinner party etc he'd get asked about someone's condition.

You'd be annoyed if your son/daughter asked him about something?

Kanaloa · 08/08/2022 20:51

Blue4YOU · 08/08/2022 20:37

It’s not appropriate (not in a sexual or creepy way) to examine family members.
did the Op say it’s creepy?

@Blue4YOU

Yes. Have you read her posts? She says it is ‘weird’ and ‘a bit creepy’ to be ‘examined by a male relative.’ She is jumping now on the fact that some posters have agreed it’s not advisable in a professional sense but that’s not what she was implying in her original posts. She was implying (well outright saying) it’s somehow creepy because he’s a male examining his female relatives.

FawnFrenchieMum · 08/08/2022 20:53

girlmom21 · 08/08/2022 19:10

She said she's a doctor, not a GP, and she knows she shouldn't be examining her own family members.

Show quote history

Apologies, Doctor, not GP. I stand by my opinion though.
Strange any doctor can find listening to a chest creepy. Unless there is a serious drip feed that he asks them to be totally naked to do it or something.

lightand · 08/08/2022 20:58

Not odd
The GP in our family, wants to be helpful to his family. Wants to do things, but may get rebuffed.

FawnFrenchieMum · 08/08/2022 21:00

SueSaid · 08/08/2022 19:43

'They might not want to waste time visiting a GP if their brother can quickly rule out anything serious while he's visiting anyway.'

There is not a chance he can rule out anything serious with a stretchoscope. He should be directing them to 111 or econsults for thorough reviews not a half arsed look at me I'm a Dr sesh at family gatherings.

So I’m not a doctor but really interested in this, when ever the children or I have been to the GP with a cough, they literally listen to our chests and take a temp. Why would it be any different at home? Why wouldn’t it rule out anything more serious then a chest infection?!

WrongWayApricot · 08/08/2022 21:02

MarshaMelrose · 08/08/2022 20:47

the members of my family who are medical run a mile if someone asks for any kind of medical advice!
same with the lawyers being asked for legal advice! 😆

I remember going on a blind date with a lawyer to a dinner party. I was looking at having an extension done to the house and was chatting to a friend who did interior design as a hobby about how big an extension was before getting planning permission and my date butted in and said, if you want information from me, you need to book an appointment. I don't give free advice. I'd never even asked him. The irony was later he enquired from a guy who was a gardener about plants best for the orientation of his garden.

I guess, all professions are equal but some are more equal than others. 😁

Show quote history

Don't! I had a moment like this. I was chatting with an accountant (who lives in another country) and a mutual friend who isn't an accountant.

Me: how have you been, accountant?
Accountant: ugh it's April, busy busy.
Me: oh yeah must be, I'm doing my forms now too, can imagine it's tough this time of year.
Mutual Friend: he can't do your taxes for you.
Me:.... I wasn't asking
Accountant: I can't do your taxes for you.
Me: I... Wasn't... Asking... 😢

veggiemonster · 08/08/2022 21:05

I'm going to go against the grain here and agree with you that it's a bit odd.

I have a few friends who have dr friends and are always constantly messaging them regarding even the slightest symptoms of anything. Gone off on a bit of a tangent there but it must be very annoying for dr's out there.

Do they ask for this examination? 😅

Cactusprick · 08/08/2022 21:10

SmileyClare · 08/08/2022 19:30

It's not weird or creepy at all.

Plenty of sons and daughters care for their elderly parents on a daily basis; including dealing with incontinence.
I'm not sure what you're getting at by disproving of a male relative examining a female family member? Are you suggesting a sexual element?

Try not to feel threatened by your husband's close relationship with his mum and sister. It'll drive a wedge between you and your dh. He shouldn't have to choose between you and them.

Exactly.
Sickos saying it’s weird or creepy.

Ihatemyroad · 08/08/2022 21:11

My sister is a Sister and is always giving medical advice and she loves doing it!

saraclara · 08/08/2022 21:11

Craver · 08/08/2022 18:53

Have to be careful, it's a bit of a grey area. GMC advice is not to treat your own family.

He's not treating them though. He's just examining them to see if they need medical attention.

Listening to their chest - fine
Prescribing antibiotics - not fine

MarshaMelrose · 08/08/2022 21:18

I get you completely, @WrongWayApricot . I kept going over in my head if he could have interpreted anything I said as asking for information but I wasn't even looking at him. He made me feel in the wrong when I wasn't. Galling. Completely galling.

De88 · 08/08/2022 21:20

You're absolutely not being unreasonable OP. One of my best friends of many many years is a GP and I have never, ever asked her nor would I ever even consider asking her for ANY medical advice or to examine my kids. I've had 4 children and many a bug between us all.

There are boundaries and that's that.

Jeezypeepers · 08/08/2022 21:22

@LeroyJenkinssss absolutely not apropos the thread but I’m a respiratory cons and our newish ST made us all snigger the other day with: What happens when you give an orthopod viagra? They grow taller. 😳😁

nocoolnamesleft · 08/08/2022 21:28

Jeezypeepers · 08/08/2022 21:22

@LeroyJenkinssss absolutely not apropos the thread but I’m a respiratory cons and our newish ST made us all snigger the other day with: What happens when you give an orthopod viagra? They grow taller. 😳😁

😂😂I'd have guessed that was neurosurgeons!

What's the definition of shifting dullness? An orthopaedic ward round.

MiniPumpkin · 08/08/2022 21:36

Not weird. My mum is forever diagnosing me and dc. At the first sight of a health issue I’m straight on the phone to her.

Muminncusa · 08/08/2022 21:39

His family has their own dynamics, why do you feel a need to disrupt what clearly has been accepted by them as normal? Your husband listening to their heart and lungs is perfectly reasonable. I do think you are making an issue out of nothing.

ladygindiva · 08/08/2022 21:42

I have a doctor friend who has had a peer at my tonsils, checked my swollen glands and cast a look at DCs chickenpox. Not weird I don't think.

ilovemydogandmrobama2 · 08/08/2022 21:43

My step mom was a GP (internal physician in the USA).

She ignored my very real stomach ache for several hours and only then said she would have me examined by a colleague who said it was my appendix, and had surgery immediately.

Not sure I listened to her opinion ever again

SwedeCarrotLime · 08/08/2022 21:48

You have some serious baggage here, OP.