DH examines his family members

[mercury101]

Is this strange? My DH is a doctor. I am too.

Whenever we go and visit his family, if one of them has a cough or cold they
ask him to bring his stethoscope and to examine them by listening to their chest.

My family have never asked this of me and I don't think ever would. Even if they did, I think I'd ask them to see their own GP anyway.

I find it weird him examining his sister and mother.

AIBU?

How many orthopods does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Refer medics: dark ?cause.

Whats the definition of a double blind study?
two orthopods looking at an ECG.

It’s very telling that this is one of the only comments you have replied to.
If I was your husband I would be really concerned about your attitude and what you are implying between him and his close family members.
I mean if you can’t trust him to not be a pervert with his own mother and sister why are you even married?

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

My dad was a doctor and would often do basic check at home. I really can't see an issue and it probably saved a lot of hassle over the years!

When I was worried that the kids' cold might be something else the GP has always:

1. Listened to their lungs (front and back)
2. Felt their lymph nodes (I assume) at the side of their neck.
3. Looked into their throat

None of this is anything that a family member GP can't quickly do at the dinner table (if they have a stethoscope).

Jeez I’ve heard it all now. We’ve got all sorts of professionals in my family, and we help each other out with professional opinions by ‘taking a look’ all the time. I’m immensely grateful to my BIL, his professional opinion and advocacy means my mum is still here; her GP misdiagnosed her for a serious medical condition and tried to fob her off.

I don’t think your husband is the strange one OP.

Agree, you're being unusually uptight and it's frankly absurd to suggest this might be a gateway to rectal or internal examinations.

This is not crossing any boundaries imo.

I think you are the weirdo if you think it's weird or creepy for your dh to listen to his dm or dsis chest if they have a cough. It's completely normal if you have a Dr or nurse in the family to do that. As others have said unless he's performing gynae exams on the kitchen table then it's not weird at all.

OP were you abused as a child or anything?

It’s very normal for family members to check each other’s throats or see if they have a high temp etc. even if they aren’t doctors.

Considering you have to be half dead to see a GP these days YABU.

This!

Maybe it’s just easier to agree rather than disagree if they are persistent?

At least he’s not a gynaecologist!

If you’ve got a chest infection, biggest sign is a productive cough I.E. coughing yellow, green or brown sputum. You may also be breathless, feel wheezy, feel a bubbling sensation and have chest pain. You’ll also have a fever. Some chest infections resolve themselves (or ranger the body rights it off), but if symptoms have lasted more than 3 weeks or are severe, you might have a bacterial infection which needs a course of antibiotics.

I also don’t think it’s weird to examine family members. For those saying listening to a chest is like doing a rectal exam, there is a difference between non-invasive examinations and invasive or intimate ones.

As a paramedic, I would listen to my sisters chest, but I wouldn’t look at her piles.

Our gp rellies have always been more than happy to have a look/ be phoned for questions, that’s just normal. Some people here make it sound if you’re out hiking and one of you falls, cracks the head open and breaks/sprains an ankle that the gp family member should step back and say I can’t possibly look at it, it would be violating my
Hippocratic oath and you will have to sit there bleeding for 2 hours until the rescue helicopter comes, with a doctor who is completely unrelated to you so they are allowed to help you.

@Oinkypig exactly!! There’s a reason for GMC guidance

@MarshaMelrose

That is totally uncalled for I said nothing if the sort. In fact I made it quite clear in my post that I would guide them to appropriate care. I would direct her to her GP to be examined I wouldn't examine her myself just as I did and pushed for recently as I knew something was very wrong and and she was not doing anything. I got her to see her GP and now my mother is terminally ill. Nothing that we could have done anything about. But thanks for implying I don't care. I do but I would NOT ignore it I would send them to be investigated via the appropriate channels. I would always direct them to appropriate care

My grandfather (a GP ) would always do this.

And the whole family (almost all GPs/consultants etc) all enjoy conferring with each other if one of us is unwell. And actually if has proven beneficial so many times.

Like the time I kept getting discharged from hospital despite acute pain. A few chats between the family medics and some robust calls from my mum to the ward preparing to discharged and I had an urgent endoscopy which showed I had duodenal ulcers.

But there’s no indication that’s not what’s happening here. He looks at them,
listens to their chest and says yep you should get to a doctor I’d want antibiotics if my chest sounded like that.

DH is a primary care physician (in the US). He frequently examines his own mother for coughs and colds (MIL has some serious respiratory issues which could escalate quickly). What’s creepy about it?

I think it’s creepy that you think it’s creepy. That’s the word that I find weird.

Also we live with the in laws and there was a point during COVID when we couldn’t have the person who helps us with the in laws come in. And so DH and I had to step in with some of their care. And FIL needed some help with his personal care and DH stepped in. It would be weird if he didn’t.
He wasn’t doing it as a physician but as a son looking after his father.

My dad was a vet, and he used to get all sorts of requests to patch up cuts and scrapes, and to feel lumps and bumps - from people!

And he triaged all our maladies before we were allowed to get a doc appointment

god know what sort of friends and family case load he would have had if he was a doctor of people

My partner and I are doctors and are with you on this one I reckon.

Bit of history and advice on what to do next is fine I'd say. I recently redirected my mum from making a GP appt to going to the opticians. But no, I wouldn't examine my friends/family beyond what they could do at home anyway, e.g. helping them use a home BP monitor.

If I'd listened to someone's chest, hadn't documented anything and got it wrong and something bad happened I am well aware my professional indemnity wouldn't cover me at all.

Oh stop it. I put a laughing face after my comment. You know it was light-hearted and I wasn't implying you'd leave your mother to die. So stop taking my post so dramatically.
Having said that, I'm very sorry about your mother. I know the feeling and it's heartbreaking.

If your daughter or brother told you about a mole that they'd decided was harmless so they weren't going to the doctors, would you just shrug or would you take a look just to be certain? You listening and mentally diagnosing symptoms, looking at moles or rashes, they're all part of examinations because you are changing the direction of their illness. No one is suggesting that longer term treatment or prescriptions should be given to family members.

Actually I think that it's unfair of friends and family to ask him. My ex is a GP and at every dinner party etc he'd get asked about someone's condition. Even in the supermarket he'd be asked for advice. We even had some people knock on our door in the middle of a meal wanting things looked at. It drove me nuts. He felt as though he could never really get away from work, or fully relax. It wasn't fair on him at all.