DH examines his family members

[mercury101]

Is this strange? My DH is a doctor. I am too.

Whenever we go and visit his family, if one of them has a cough or cold they
ask him to bring his stethoscope and to examine them by listening to their chest.

My family have never asked this of me and I don't think ever would. Even if they did, I think I'd ask them to see their own GP anyway.

I find it weird him examining his sister and mother.

AIBU?

I don’t think this is weird at all! The poor doctors in my family - a few drinks and everyone has a rash/ankle pain/wheeze of interest 😂

Pils and BIL always give the kids a little check over. Which was invaluable after COVID when we could see each other but it was still a nightmare to see a GP face to face. They wouldn’t check DH now he’s an adult but they do recommend specialists if we are seeing private consultants and have been given a list of options.

It’s a bit strange you thinking his examining his own family is strange, tbh.

It’s like one of the perks of having a doctor n the family.

Have to be careful, it's a bit of a grey area. GMC advice is not to treat your own family.

DB and SIL are doctors and are very clear if we want private medical care from them we can pay for it

I'm glad I'm not the only one who had this as a response 🤣🤣🤣

I think if DD was a doctor not only would I be calling her to check stuff I’d probably be passing on questions from the rest of the family too.

We’ve had family members help with this kind of stuff before, they were consultants in those specific fields of medicine though so it would seem strange not to ask them for an opinion (quite severe problems).

Totally inappropriate. You can't be objective with family or friends. GMC don't approve. You can listen to their symptoms and decide if they need to see a doctor and help guide them through NHS maze but I've always drawn the line at listening to chests etc. If they are ill enough to need examination they need to see a GP. I am 30 years a GP and have never examined family members and I have sent acquaintances away. My ex BIL did a rectal examination on his dad many years . Now that is awful. I was shocked

This is precisely the correct advice from GMC which I obviously agree with. I think on top normal issues, it's just a bit creepy. If you're a mother/ sister, why would you want to be examined by your son/ brother?

Plus any one in the pub/they are out for a meal/at a function with!

I imagine there is a huge difference to them coming into your practice and been offered a prescription to listening to their chest and telling them they need to see a GP or that it sounds fine and it’s just a cough?!

No different IMO as me telling a family member our loan rates and best accounts the bank has but I wouldn’t be allowed to do the actual application.

I find it weird that a GP thinks listening to anyones chest is creepy tbh. Like others said, it’s not like he’s doing a smear on his mother.

He is just putting a stethoscope on their back and saying ‘yeah that’s a chesty cough’ isn’t he? There shouldn’t be anything ‘creepy’ going on at all.

This. My brother is an accountant, sister physiotherapist, mum nurse, builder/gardener dad, I’m a hca who also runs an animal rescue. We do everything for each other and for the extended family/friends, a lot of who can do a lot of useful stuff back. Isn’t this normal for family and friends??

If the OP is also a doctor she’ll know the answers to her own questions surely?

This. I don’t know why people are implying he’s dishing out medications to his family, or doing anything that isn’t above board. Someone’s unwell so he’s giving his qualified/professional opinion. I don’t get what the problem is

Do you think your husband is strange and weird seeing as he's part of the same family?

She said she's a doctor, not a GP, and she knows she shouldn't be examining her own family members.

I have a close family member who is a GP. Growing up we were always seen by him at home before deciding if we needed an appointment at the clinic.

Why would they not give advice/do basic examinations? If I had a close relative who was a plumber, I would ask them for advice if I had a leaky tap...etc

I'm a doctor and I think it's weird.

Firstly the GMC quite clearly tells you not to - you do not have perspective when treating a family member.

Secondly does your DH have the relevant expertise? Possibly OK if he is a GP, but I'm a specialist and unless your question relates to my actual specialty then I am acting outside of my competence.

Doesn't mean I haven't massively advocated for family, directed them to what they should be asking for, and in one case diagnosed a serious medical condition that their GP refused to believe they had.

But whipping out a stethoscope for every cough, er no, that's what you have a GP for and it probably didn't need checking anyway

Also - as per GMC guidelines- it’s a very good idea not to examine your family members- what if you get it wrong and then there’s nothing that can be done for family member? Eg - horrific example but imagine thinking “oh here’s Betty again whinging about her child. I’ll listen to her chest, nothing there/I won’t alarm her” .. and misses cancer signs because of personal bias…?
I wouldn’t advise a family member on anything from my professional life (if I had one, given that currently I don’t)

You’re making this really weird, OP. You don’t like them and are looking for more excuses to dislike them.

No he is not strange. However, I have expressed to him the many things I find strange in his family. Parents are extremely controlling, and he's always found it hard to challenge them on any requests (however absurd) that they make.

This.
OP am freaked out that you think a brother listening to a sister's cough is creepy. Do you always make these connections? Have you considered you may be the creepy one?

It's true I don't like my in-laws and that's why I need help with getting perspective.