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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want service, not unsolicited advice or comments?

450 replies

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:04

This is frustrating me more and more lately when it comes to the service industry. Everyone has to chip in or feels they know better. A few incidences recently:

I returned an item to a shop; a gift from a friend that was the wrong size. The assistant checks the date on the receipt, starts processing the return and then says ‘You know today is the absolute last day you could have brought it back?’ I said yes, that’s why I’d come! He sort of laughed as if this was somehow cheeky, rather than me just returning something within the set period.

In a restaurant I asked for the salt when they brought out the food. Waitress narrows her eyes, pauses and then says ‘Have you tried it?’ I said ‘Not yet - but when I do, I might want salt. Please can you bring the salt?’ I don’t want her opinion, just the bloody salt!

Another restaurant. The waiter brings out the card machine; I move to take it so I can insert my card to pay. He pulls it away from me and says ‘You can use contactless’. I say ‘No, I can’t; I need to use the PIN’ and go to take the machine again. He pulls it back again and says ‘No, you can for that amount’. I say ‘Yes, for that amount - but not with this card’. He then finally lets me have the machine. If he’d just let me pay how I wanted it would have taken seconds.

Local leisure centre - there’s a counter where you get a basket for your things and hand it to the cloakroom attendant. I take my bag over to put in a basket and the attendant tries to grab it before I can. ‘All bagged up?’, she says, then ‘Ooh no, one of your zips is open’. I say ‘I know, it’s broken. But it’ll be in the basket anyway.’ She says ‘Oh, you don’t need a basket; I’ll just put it on the side’. I say no, something might fall out; I’ll take a basket. She says ‘No, it’ll be fine on the side; nothing will fall out’. I say I’d still prefer a basket. She says ‘Can I ask what the issue is with me just putting the bag on the side?’ I say - pretty coldly by this point - ‘Please can you just give me a basket?’ She eventually does, muttering something about ‘It just makes more work for us’. There would have been zero extra work if she’d just let me hand her a basket like everyone else instead of picking an argument!

I went to get my mobile phone screen fixed. When I return later to collect it, he asks ‘How long have you had the device?’ I say ‘Abour four months; why?’ He says, ‘And this is your first repair?’ None of your damn business! I’m not asking you to do it for free - you don’t need to know if I’ve dropped my phone once or do it on a weekly basis!

Is it really too much to ask to just be served without commentary, questions or tips on how to do it better?

OP posts:
palygold · 07/08/2022 12:07

Sounds like they're just trying to be helpful.

Nekomata · 07/08/2022 12:10

I think people are just trying to be friendly and helpful.

I get that it can be annoying at times, but I don't think it's a big deal.

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:12

Gosh, you sound like very hard work! Some of it is small talk and some of it is important information, like the mobile phone and the basket.

Jagoda · 07/08/2022 12:13

Oh OP, sorry but you do sound like a bit of a miseryguts!

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:13

palygold · 07/08/2022 12:07

Sounds like they're just trying to be helpful.

But how is it helpful to tell me it’s the last day for returns? I’m clearly within the window, so I’m not asking for special treatment. How is it helpful to tell me to pay on contactless when I’ve said I want to use my PIN? How is it helpful to refuse me a basket when, if my bag hadn’t been big enough for all my things, they’d have had to give me one anyway?

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/08/2022 12:14

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:12

Gosh, you sound like very hard work! Some of it is small talk and some of it is important information, like the mobile phone and the basket.

What about the basket was ‘important information’?

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:15

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 07/08/2022 12:14

What about the basket was ‘important information’?

It made more work for the shop worker, it's in the OP.

GiltEdges · 07/08/2022 12:16

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:12

Gosh, you sound like very hard work! Some of it is small talk and some of it is important information, like the mobile phone and the basket.

It what way have you made the distinction that the basket and the phone were “important information”? 🤔

BronwenFrideswide · 07/08/2022 12:17

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:12

Gosh, you sound like very hard work! Some of it is small talk and some of it is important information, like the mobile phone and the basket.

What important information was imparted in the mobile phone and basket scenarios?

And how exactly were any of the people in those instances being helpful?

You don't sound like hard work to me, OP, the people you asked for things are supposed to be serving the customer not dishing out opinions on whether the customer should have/needs what they have asked for.

Cloverforever · 07/08/2022 12:18

I think they are just trying to make conversation in what could be fairly tedious jobs. Most people don't like to carry out transactions like these in silence.

JemimaPuddlegoose · 07/08/2022 12:19

Yes, I've noticed that there's a huge uptick in retail workers being extremely argumentative and seeming to be itching for a fight.

I assume they deal with so many nasty customers that they take their aggression out on other customers.

Aprilx · 07/08/2022 12:19

You sound very difficult. Have you noticed you are the common denominator in all these daily “problems”.

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:19

Because if a phone has been fixed before, the shop worker might need to know.

iklboo · 07/08/2022 12:20

You're really overthinking this. It's small talk & being helpful. You'd probably complain if people handed things over without a word as well.

Chap with the return - is saying 'ooh good job you brought it today or we couldn't have refunded'. You inferred he thought you were being cheeky. That's you.

Waitress has probably had loads of people asking for salt before trying food then complaining it was too salty.

Card machine guy - you could have said at the first exchanged you needed to use PIN with that card instead of playing tug of war with the machine.

Phone guy - impressed it's only your first repair. He sees loads of mangled phones younger than yours.

Leisure centre - why didn't you just ask for a basket first?

You don't sound like hard work to me, OP, the people you asked for things are supposed to be serving the customer not dishing out opinions on whether the customer should have/needs what they have asked for.

Oh yes. Serving staff should Know Their Place shouldn't they?

TeapotTitties · 07/08/2022 12:20

OMG you sound embarrassingly awful OP.

Now I understand what a lot of MNetters who work in service/retail mean, when they say the public look down their noses at them.

Horrible attitude to have.

BronwenFrideswide · 07/08/2022 12:20

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:15

It made more work for the shop worker, it's in the OP.

It was a Leisure Centre not a shop - its in the OP if you read it properly.

How does it make more work for the assistant?

SparklingLime · 07/08/2022 12:21

The basket thing sounds annoying, but goodness you sound like hard work. Try a gratitude journal (I’m sure that suggestion will annoy you, but focussing on small negatives can become an entrenched habit which makes you less content than you could be.)

toffeechai · 07/08/2022 12:22

I think you may be contributing to these situations with your manner to be honest OP.

Yes, in an ideal world people would do exactly what you want and not question you. But it seems like you could help yourself a bit more in some of these situations. And some are just making conversation.

Some thoughts. Including tips on how you could have made these exchanges go more smoothly, which isn’t exactly what you asked but is probably more realistic.

Shop return: maybe just making conversation, maybe letting you know in case you didn’t realise and might risk missing the window in future, who knows, I’d just nod and smile.

Asking for salt: sounds like you were really brusque to the waitress. Should you have to ask twice? No, but you could have been nicer about it.

Chip and pin: why not just clearly tell him the card doesn’t do contactless, instead of faffing around saying “I need to use the PIN”?

Leisure centre: you sound like you were being very brusque. I would have said something like: “I’d still love a basket actually please - I just worry about things falling out, thanks so much.” You sound like you were cold and rude.

Mobile phone: maybe it was relevant? Maybe he was just making conversation. No idea why you’re so offended at being asked.

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:22

BronwenFrideswide · 07/08/2022 12:20

It was a Leisure Centre not a shop - its in the OP if you read it properly.

How does it make more work for the assistant?

Because according to the OP, the worker who works there and presumably knows more about it than me and you (unless you work at the same place) said so.

itrytomakemyway · 07/08/2022 12:24

I had similar in the bank - the one that has decided to shut on Saturdays and late afternoons 'in order to improve customer service' according to the poster on the window!

I went in to pay a cheque into my account. I was asked "You do know you can pay this in using the atm , yes." Yes, yes I do know that, but I am choosing to pay it in over the counter because I want to. I don't need you looking at me like I am a relic from the past because I am choosing not to use the atm.

toffeechai · 07/08/2022 12:24

PS it’s amazing how much difference it makes if you smile and say please and thank you.

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:24

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:19

Because if a phone has been fixed before, the shop worker might need to know.

You’ve missed that he asked this AFTER fixing the phone. I agree that if he’d asked beforehand it might have been relevant, or if it had been an ‘under guarantee’ repair or similar.

OP posts:
Fimofriend · 07/08/2022 12:26

They were not being helpful at all. They were all clearly the "there are two ways of doing things: my way and the wrong way" kind of people. If they don't want to be service minded they shouldn't work service jobs.

Bubbafly · 07/08/2022 12:26

Mortified for you. You sound salty enough without asking for more in a restaurant.

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:27

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:24

You’ve missed that he asked this AFTER fixing the phone. I agree that if he’d asked beforehand it might have been relevant, or if it had been an ‘under guarantee’ repair or similar.

Perhaps he was going to offer you some sort of special insurance or discount if you said you were a frequent dropper (before your attitude.)