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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want service, not unsolicited advice or comments?

450 replies

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:04

This is frustrating me more and more lately when it comes to the service industry. Everyone has to chip in or feels they know better. A few incidences recently:

I returned an item to a shop; a gift from a friend that was the wrong size. The assistant checks the date on the receipt, starts processing the return and then says ‘You know today is the absolute last day you could have brought it back?’ I said yes, that’s why I’d come! He sort of laughed as if this was somehow cheeky, rather than me just returning something within the set period.

In a restaurant I asked for the salt when they brought out the food. Waitress narrows her eyes, pauses and then says ‘Have you tried it?’ I said ‘Not yet - but when I do, I might want salt. Please can you bring the salt?’ I don’t want her opinion, just the bloody salt!

Another restaurant. The waiter brings out the card machine; I move to take it so I can insert my card to pay. He pulls it away from me and says ‘You can use contactless’. I say ‘No, I can’t; I need to use the PIN’ and go to take the machine again. He pulls it back again and says ‘No, you can for that amount’. I say ‘Yes, for that amount - but not with this card’. He then finally lets me have the machine. If he’d just let me pay how I wanted it would have taken seconds.

Local leisure centre - there’s a counter where you get a basket for your things and hand it to the cloakroom attendant. I take my bag over to put in a basket and the attendant tries to grab it before I can. ‘All bagged up?’, she says, then ‘Ooh no, one of your zips is open’. I say ‘I know, it’s broken. But it’ll be in the basket anyway.’ She says ‘Oh, you don’t need a basket; I’ll just put it on the side’. I say no, something might fall out; I’ll take a basket. She says ‘No, it’ll be fine on the side; nothing will fall out’. I say I’d still prefer a basket. She says ‘Can I ask what the issue is with me just putting the bag on the side?’ I say - pretty coldly by this point - ‘Please can you just give me a basket?’ She eventually does, muttering something about ‘It just makes more work for us’. There would have been zero extra work if she’d just let me hand her a basket like everyone else instead of picking an argument!

I went to get my mobile phone screen fixed. When I return later to collect it, he asks ‘How long have you had the device?’ I say ‘Abour four months; why?’ He says, ‘And this is your first repair?’ None of your damn business! I’m not asking you to do it for free - you don’t need to know if I’ve dropped my phone once or do it on a weekly basis!

Is it really too much to ask to just be served without commentary, questions or tips on how to do it better?

OP posts:
BronwenFrideswide · 14/08/2022 01:26

It’s literally part of the training in service industries, to be friendly, helpful, smile, give information that MAY be helpful etc

There was nothing remotely friendly or helpful about the comment about the salt, the basket at the leisure centre, or the card machine fiasco.

LittleBearPad · 14/08/2022 03:55

YANBU OP at all.

@BeverlyHa you managed to make a customer cry and you think you didn’t do anything wrong?? And a loving smile and washing instructions were your solution!

ldontWanna · 14/08/2022 08:58

Flutterbybudget · 14/08/2022 00:23

YANBU to not want people to make small talk with you, but YABU to expect them to know that. It’s literally part of the training in service industries, to be friendly, helpful, smile, give information that MAY be helpful etc
I remember having to ask people if they had a loyalty card when they came into store. And some would snap at us about it. Trust me, it’s far more frustrating for the staff having to try to think of something to say to EVERY customer, than it is for a customer having to deal with one conversation, however bad a mood they may be in.

It's not small talk to refuse to give someone salt or a basket or a card machine when they ask for it.Confused

palygold · 14/08/2022 13:13

I hold my hands up and admit that I u-turned in my opinion of the OP and by the end almost admired her tenacity!

CarrieKurz · 14/08/2022 18:10

When I don't want social interaction...I order my food online or go to places where people have been trained to interact with customers the least e.g. lidl, primark, mc Donald's...I guess there is a market segment for this but I don't know what it is called.

TootsAtOwls · 14/08/2022 21:30

Onandupw · 07/08/2022 13:08

I’m guessing you’re a woman?

there’ll be An uproar at my comment - but would bet a million pounds thst men don’t get as much as this kind of crap

I think this is it.

It's weird how many people are claiming they wouldn't be annoyed by the examples in the OP.

It basically comes down to people assuming they know best, when actually there's a reason for what you're doing that they haven't thought of.

Mississipi71 · 15/08/2022 09:25

BronwenFrideswide · 14/08/2022 01:26

It’s literally part of the training in service industries, to be friendly, helpful, smile, give information that MAY be helpful etc

There was nothing remotely friendly or helpful about the comment about the salt, the basket at the leisure centre, or the card machine fiasco.

This.

Mississipi71 · 15/08/2022 09:28

gezelligheid · 13/08/2022 15:42

You sound absolutely exhausting tbh

Ah, that old chestnut, for a response. Whereas the assistants, in not just providing a services are a breeze 🙄

GrowlingManchego · 15/08/2022 11:57

There is no need for a tug of war over the chip and pin machine. My card chip is broken. When I use it to pay I smile and say ‘my contactless chip is broken so I need to enter my pin.’ And the assistant hands it over with no fuss. Just clearly state what you want. it helps to smile and make eye contact.

PalourGamer · 15/08/2022 12:21

Just clearly state what you want.

Which bit of this wasn’t clear?

He pulls it away from me and says ‘You can use contactless’. I say ‘No, I can’t; I need to use the PIN’

OP posts:
GrowlingManchego · 15/08/2022 13:11

You didn’t comminicate what you wanted clearly. You just grabbed the card machine.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 15/08/2022 13:30

You misread again, GrowlingManchego. Why are you making things up that didn't happen?

Honestly, the mental gymnastics that some posters are trying just to convince the OP that she was in the wrong. She absolutely wasn't. Service levels are not good across the board; some service staff are still excellent but generally, mediocrity abounds.

Too bad that they have to deal with customers at all. For everybody's sake.

PalourGamer · 15/08/2022 13:30

I needn’t need to communicate anything when I ‘grabbed’ the card machine (i.e. just took it to pay). I should have just been allowed to take it. I only had to communicate anything when he thought he knew best - and it STILL wasn’t good enough for him.

OP posts:
TambourineOfRepentance · 15/08/2022 13:40

From the way some posters are going on, you'd think OP whacked him around the head with the card machine after mercilessly snatching it off him.

By and large, YANBU OP. There's some jobs where you think you couldn't really be bad at it- but there'll always be someone ready to prove otherwise.

BronwenFrideswide · 15/08/2022 13:48

You misread again, GrowlingManchego. Why are you making things up that didn't happen?

Standard fare round these parts when someone needs to berate an OP @LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

From the way some posters are going on, you'd think OP whacked him around the head with the card machine after mercilessly snatching it off him.

Quite.

Chouetted · 15/08/2022 18:49

I'm genuinely struggling to see how it is possible to be clearer than saying "I can't use contactless". Clear communication is concise and unambiguous. That seems to fit the bill. Adding more words would just add the possibility for confusion.

Chouetted · 15/08/2022 18:51

To add - it's completely irrelevant whether your card is broken, the bank disabled it, or it's against your religion to use contactless. It might satisfy someone's curiosity to explain, but it's absolutely not a necessary part of the conversation.

gatehouseoffleet · 15/08/2022 19:13

I remember having to ask people if they had a loyalty card when they came into store. And some would snap at us about it

Asking if they've got one is fine. Trying then to sell them one is just annoying. And it is especially annoying for the people in the queue behind who then have to hang around even longer while you take their details.

It's not the staff's fault, but nobody from a retailer HQ ever comes on here and explains why they insist on all this nonsense that annoys staff and customers alike.

JemimaPuddlegoose · 15/08/2022 21:40

Mama2910 · 13/08/2022 16:57

Love it how original poster is asking AIBU in original post but then gets hostile and defensive when 99% of person says yes she is. Don't want people's opinions? Then don't ask for it. Very few people agree with her and she is NOT happy about it 🙈🤷🏻‍♀️😆 She sounds like hard work to me!

According to the poll the majority think she's not being unreasonable.

And she hasn't been told "yes you are" she'd had people screaming "YOU BITCH" at her, and other worse abuse.

Screaming bitch at someone because you dislike what they posted online is just on another planet of unhinged.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/08/2022 22:17

JemimaPuddlegoose · 07/08/2022 12:19

Yes, I've noticed that there's a huge uptick in retail workers being extremely argumentative and seeming to be itching for a fight.

I assume they deal with so many nasty customers that they take their aggression out on other customers.

Not my experience

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 15/08/2022 22:22

i am SO glad I don’t work in retail

PalourGamer · 16/08/2022 01:09

I’m glad you don’t too.

OP posts:
CarrieKurz · 16/08/2022 10:59

gatehouseoffleet · 15/08/2022 19:13

I remember having to ask people if they had a loyalty card when they came into store. And some would snap at us about it

Asking if they've got one is fine. Trying then to sell them one is just annoying. And it is especially annoying for the people in the queue behind who then have to hang around even longer while you take their details.

It's not the staff's fault, but nobody from a retailer HQ ever comes on here and explains why they insist on all this nonsense that annoys staff and customers alike.

Retailers use these data for machine learning purposes (e.g. identify products that are bought frequently together).
Machine learning and it's applications are a wonderful way to minimise annoying and unpredictable interactions with real people. I 💛robots

Mississipi71 · 16/08/2022 11:18

PalourGamer · 16/08/2022 01:09

I’m glad you don’t too.

😂

PixieLaLa · 16/08/2022 12:52

From the way some posters are going on, you'd think OP whacked him around the head with the card machine after mercilessly snatching it off him.

😂

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