Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just want service, not unsolicited advice or comments?

450 replies

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 12:04

This is frustrating me more and more lately when it comes to the service industry. Everyone has to chip in or feels they know better. A few incidences recently:

I returned an item to a shop; a gift from a friend that was the wrong size. The assistant checks the date on the receipt, starts processing the return and then says ‘You know today is the absolute last day you could have brought it back?’ I said yes, that’s why I’d come! He sort of laughed as if this was somehow cheeky, rather than me just returning something within the set period.

In a restaurant I asked for the salt when they brought out the food. Waitress narrows her eyes, pauses and then says ‘Have you tried it?’ I said ‘Not yet - but when I do, I might want salt. Please can you bring the salt?’ I don’t want her opinion, just the bloody salt!

Another restaurant. The waiter brings out the card machine; I move to take it so I can insert my card to pay. He pulls it away from me and says ‘You can use contactless’. I say ‘No, I can’t; I need to use the PIN’ and go to take the machine again. He pulls it back again and says ‘No, you can for that amount’. I say ‘Yes, for that amount - but not with this card’. He then finally lets me have the machine. If he’d just let me pay how I wanted it would have taken seconds.

Local leisure centre - there’s a counter where you get a basket for your things and hand it to the cloakroom attendant. I take my bag over to put in a basket and the attendant tries to grab it before I can. ‘All bagged up?’, she says, then ‘Ooh no, one of your zips is open’. I say ‘I know, it’s broken. But it’ll be in the basket anyway.’ She says ‘Oh, you don’t need a basket; I’ll just put it on the side’. I say no, something might fall out; I’ll take a basket. She says ‘No, it’ll be fine on the side; nothing will fall out’. I say I’d still prefer a basket. She says ‘Can I ask what the issue is with me just putting the bag on the side?’ I say - pretty coldly by this point - ‘Please can you just give me a basket?’ She eventually does, muttering something about ‘It just makes more work for us’. There would have been zero extra work if she’d just let me hand her a basket like everyone else instead of picking an argument!

I went to get my mobile phone screen fixed. When I return later to collect it, he asks ‘How long have you had the device?’ I say ‘Abour four months; why?’ He says, ‘And this is your first repair?’ None of your damn business! I’m not asking you to do it for free - you don’t need to know if I’ve dropped my phone once or do it on a weekly basis!

Is it really too much to ask to just be served without commentary, questions or tips on how to do it better?

OP posts:
Onceuponatimethen · 07/08/2022 13:22

Buy smaller

JorisBonson · 07/08/2022 13:23

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 13:18

OP - AIBU?
MN - yes

OP - no I'm not, you're all horrible and I am right.

And thaaaaaaat's Mumsnet! Jazz hands

Oh dear, oh dear, @JorisBonson - do you feel a bit silly now?

Nope!

UndertheCedartree · 07/08/2022 13:23

toffeechai · 07/08/2022 12:31

Actually there’s a world of difference between “I need to use the PIN” (ambiguous, brusque, rude) and “Actually this card doesn’t do contactless, so I will need to put my PIN in, thanks”

But sometimes you do need to use the PIN because you bank account asks you to occasionally not because the card doesn't do contactless. How is it rude to state factually that you need to use the PIN??

Onceuponatimethen · 07/08/2022 13:23

It’s because I’m very broad that I’m a big size even though I’m not particularly overweight (not really slim just average).

PalourGamer · 07/08/2022 13:27

JorisBonson · 07/08/2022 13:23

Nope!

So you said everyone disagrees with me, when actually it’s a 50/50 vote - literally the most even split possible - and you don’t feel silly?

Wow.

OP posts:
Natty13 · 07/08/2022 13:28

Pink3489 · 07/08/2022 13:20

OP, I can completely understand, it's like some people dont listen or keep pushing until they get the answer they want.

The last time this happened to me was at the hairdressers. I asked for about 3 inches cut off my hair, the hairdresser says 'hmm, no, I think just a trim would look better'. I explained that I agreed however I want it shorter because XYZ and she still said no! Even though I had booked in for a proper cut not a trim. I didnt argue because I feel that people dont listen to what I say so whats the point. Came home and cut it myself. Not neatest cut that I wanted but at least it will keep me going until I find a new hairdresser!

You seriously sat there and let someone else choose how you had your hair then paid her for the privilege?! I honestly despair sometimes. I'd have (and have before) taken the gown off and said "in that case I will need to cancel my appointment as I did not book in for, nor will I be paying for, just a trim. Thanks and goodbye!" And left. Honestly, people walk all over you BECAUSE you allow them to.

JemimaPuddlegoose · 07/08/2022 13:31

Onandupw · 07/08/2022 13:08

I’m guessing you’re a woman?

there’ll be An uproar at my comment - but would bet a million pounds thst men don’t get as much as this kind of crap

Yes, I completely agree.

I don't believe others never experience this kind of backchat, they just have a higher tolerance or don't notice. Which is fine, but OP isn't doing anything wrong in being bothered. She's not being abusive to those workers or demanding to speak to the manager, she's just having a little moan on MN which is at least half of what MN is!

And sorry but "I need to put my PIN in" is not remotely ambiguous or rude.

pd339 · 07/08/2022 13:35

You sound like a total delight!

2orangey · 07/08/2022 13:37

As a customer service worker please can I ask everyone to bear in mind that customer service staff are a) paid NMW or not much higher b) often get little training c) deal with a high number of people each day, often with repetitive queries so you go into 'auto pilot' d) many of these customers are rude and entitled, e) we are asked by management to carry out policies we may not agree with.

My role is answering calls and emails from customers. I am told by management to 'direct customers to the online portal where possible'. When I tell customers they can use the portal they are understandably upset as they called/emailed so they don't have to do this. In their eyes, I am rude for telling them to do this. If I don't tell them, I get reprimanded by management. I am very much caught between a rock and a hard place.

If someone asked to return something on the very last day of the warranty I can see myself making a lame joke about 'ooh, just squeezed that one in in time!' And the customer might laugh (maybe a pity laugh). I would just be trying to make the interaction a bit more human. It can start to feel robotic, saying the same thing 100 times a day!

Wheelyweddingwipedout · 07/08/2022 13:38

This happens to me as well OP.

Yesterday, I took a birthday card into the post office and asked the lady how much it would be to send it to Cuba. She said ‘that will be really expensive’.

I think there must just be something about my face!

BronwenFrideswide · 07/08/2022 13:39

Salting food you haven’t tasted is rude. Of course, it’s your prerogative and probably the waitress should have just brought it with no comment as you’re a paying customer. But it’s rude to salt food you haven’t tried so… suck that one up, OP.

Once the food is in front of you it is entirely up to you how and what condiments you choose to add to it either before or after you have tasted it, it's not rude at all it's your food at that point.

JudgeJ · 07/08/2022 13:42

HellaFitzgerald · 07/08/2022 12:19

Because if a phone has been fixed before, the shop worker might need to know.

I'm more confused by him expressing surprise that she'd had the phone 4 months and this was the first repair, what do people do with their phones?? Mine's over 4 years old and has never had to be repaired.

midsomermurderess · 07/08/2022 13:44

Life must be very hard for you, being so relentlessly cantankerous.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 07/08/2022 13:45

Aprilx · 07/08/2022 12:19

You sound very difficult. Have you noticed you are the common denominator in all these daily “problems”.

Has the notion occurred to you that actually, the common denominator is actually the person providing the service? They are provoking each and every conversation when all the OP wants (along with many of us) is just the service asked and paid for.

You sound very limited in your understanding of the 'problem'.

C8H10N4O2 · 07/08/2022 13:46

Natty13 · 07/08/2022 13:16

I agree with the sentiment of this comment. I think the reason is definitely that women (particularly in this country) are generally shocking at asserting themselves - just look at 99% of the threads on MN. They are full of hand wringing and "I simply can't say no to this absolute CF request from my sister's neighbour's dogsitter" "I work 60h/week and do 100% of the housework, cooking, childcare and mental load. AIBU to ask my DH go wipe his own bum after he does a poo?" etc.

My DH has strong people pleasing tendencies and encounters "helpful" "advice" like this far more often than I do because I'm friendly but assertive and much better at shutting it down. I also don't come across as many people assuming I don't know what I want or what I'm doing in my home country or in DH's where women are stronger and more assertive in general.

Yes and it gets worse as you get older. I largely avoid going into actual shops because this kind of over servicing/assuming the customer is an idiot just added a layer of irritation to the experience. Not sure if its poor customer service training, a fashion in retail or just sexism and ageism expecting us to justify everything we say.

It was reasonable for a member of staff to say "this machine will accept contactless" but not to insist on continuing to push it after the customer has said 'I need/wish to use the PIN". Ditto all the other examples.

gatehouseoffleet · 07/08/2022 13:46

You don't sound like hard work to me, OP, the people you asked for things are supposed to be serving the customer not dishing out opinions on whether the customer should have/needs what they have asked for

I agree.

I do think you should taste the food before adding salt though Grin

The card thing is really annoying. Quite apart from the fact that you might want to put in your PIN to avoid a random request at another time, it's obvious that not all cards are contactless and some banks also let you choose your limit.

SleepingAgent · 07/08/2022 13:47

Fimofriend · 07/08/2022 12:26

They were not being helpful at all. They were all clearly the "there are two ways of doing things: my way and the wrong way" kind of people. If they don't want to be service minded they shouldn't work service jobs.

OP on here will always get a bashing for whatever they post, some posters live just to be able to say "you sound like hard work".

But I agree OP, in none of those situations where the staff being friendly or helpful - they were trying to get you to do things that make their life easier not yours (basket, contactless) judging you (salt) and being nosey (phone).

None of them are good customer service.

BronwenFrideswide · 07/08/2022 13:48

My role is answering calls and emails from customers. I am told by management to 'direct customers to the online portal where possible'. When I tell customers they can use the portal they are understandably upset as they called/emailed so they don't have to do this. In their eyes, I am rude for telling them to do this. If I don't tell them, I get reprimanded by management. I am very much caught between a rock and a hard place.

I understand that and I wouldn't get upset with you for saying it once and politely, my response would be that I would rather use the method I am currently using thank you.

Make management aware that customers know about the online portal but prefer to use the other methods and directing them to the online portal does not go down well with some of them, or ask the customers to email the management to that effect.

gatehouseoffleet · 07/08/2022 13:48

midsomermurderess · 07/08/2022 13:44

Life must be very hard for you, being so relentlessly cantankerous.

Maybe staff could do their jobs and stop thinking they know better. Especially the men.

FlorettaB · 07/08/2022 13:50

The first and last sound like people doing their jobs. Making sure that you’re aware of the returns date limit so that you don’t end up disappointed and asking about your phone repair because there’s probably a frequent flier type deal for the clumsy that would save the customer money and that the staff are supposed to offer. The middle things sound a little annoying.

Comedycook · 07/08/2022 13:50

Don't worry. Soon, robots and machines will take over all the jobs so we won't have any social interaction at all

gatehouseoffleet · 07/08/2022 13:51

My role is answering calls and emails from customers. I am told by management to 'direct customers to the online portal where possible

This is a different point. People generally only call if the website doesn't do the job for them. It is very annoying to be put on hold with a recorded message saying "go and use the website" when you can't use the website. So if you then tell people to go and use the website as well it must be even more annoying. Have you thought about pointing this out to your management - you know, if they actually put more functionality on their websites, people might not need to call, and those who do still call, obviously can't use the website - either because they just can't, or because it still doesn't do what they need?

Examples for me recently - needing to call a leisure centre to book a course for my son. 20 minute wait with lots of messages about the website. Yes but I can't book the course online!

Needing to call my car insurer to add my son to it. I had started off on the website, but the "robot" had a query so I had to call. Another long wait with lots of unhelpful pointers to the website.

gatehouseoffleet · 07/08/2022 13:51

Comedycook · 07/08/2022 13:50

Don't worry. Soon, robots and machines will take over all the jobs so we won't have any social interaction at all

See my comment above - robots can't do everything!

Tooshytoshine · 07/08/2022 13:52

OP, are you the central character of a Mr Men book?

The staff sound patient and polite.

OneTC · 07/08/2022 13:53

Couldn't imagine going round my life being this pissed off at everything

Swipe left for the next trending thread