Who is in this wrong in this situation re diary

[Theresnolimit505]

At my parents' house with a boyfriend of a few months and in my old room. We come across my old diary in which I wrote a ton of hideously cringy things as you do when you're a teenager. Very personal stuff too.
He wanted to read it but I said I'd prefer him not to. He was insisting he read it and wrestling it off me.
In the end he gave up and went to the toilet. Whilst he was out, I ripped out the two most embarrassing pages in my eyes.
He came back and said can I read it now? So I said ok then..he opened it and noticed the 2 ripped out pages and went mad.
Saying, "If you lie about this, it makes me wonder what else you lie about?"
Who was in the wrong here? Surely I have a right to privacy

He was definitely unreasonable on all counts. He wanted to invade your privacy and then got arsey when you ripped a couple of pages out of your private teenage diary imagining you'd got something sinister to hide.

Well out of order

No one has a right to read your diary past or present.

I’d dump him from a height.

If this is serious then i think it’s a bit weird you ripped the pages out when he was in the loo, hid them then let him read the rest. Why not just say no it’s private, or bin the whole thing and say it’s in the garbage now?

Let’s face it neither of you came out covered in glory over this.

I'm not sure what is worse, his not respecting your right to privacy or then using it as some kind of 'proof' that you're a liar. Dump.

@ulteriorbread well aren't you a treasure.

massive red flag - pushing to read it even after you expressed reluctance , then getting annoyed and calling you a liar due to missing pages - maybe throw this one back!

@ulteriorbread - you are a little strange - and not in a good way

I just find a certain type of girl through school uses a diary. Never heard of a young man in school keeping one - but feel equally as much pity for them if they exist.

Usually the ones with few friends to talk to irl therefore need to write their feelings down.

What an odd concept.

😆😆😆

“Firstly that they're immature enough to even keep a diary (let's fact it, it's a certain type of person who uses them)” ulteriorbread.

Well, I am a huge fan of Michael Palin and Monte Python.

Michael Palin is the type of person who keeps a diary, he has been writing in daily since 1969. And yes he has published edited extracts of his diaries that he has chosen to share.

I wouldn’t call Michael Palin immature in any way. He is a brilliant writer, actor, comedian, intelligent and thoughtful man.

So, if writing a diary put’s us in a certain class of people and Michael Palin, and many other great people, is a part of that group, then it is far from an insult to belong to that group of diary keepers.

Never date anyone who was once a teenage girl then eh

Keeping a diary as a teenager is a red flag? JFC batshit central.

That's a total overreaction on his part and gives off red flags. Firstly why is he unable to respect your privacy and secondly to be angry at you for taking bits out when you didn't want him to read it in the first place... he's way out of line you have every right to privacy and you've given no reason for him to question your honesty. To me that's as bad as demanding to read through your phone messages. Big red flags there I'd be laying down some boundaries with him and if he crossed them again it would be a line in the sand for me.

Can't wait to read the research paper based on a study with a large enough sample size to prove this theory regarding diary writers being social pariahs. Fascinating reading, I'm sure.

I kept a diary and would have been mortified if my partner/boyfriend got a hold of it, there is something in... protecting the younger you maybe? Your reaction was totally normal in my opinion and I hope you kept the ripped out pages, that diary should be yours to decide freely what to do with. If your boyfriend has doubts about your integrity over actually having boundaries, and no doubts over his own after trampling over yours I would not stay in this relationship.

I've kept a regular diary since 1985. I'm not sure how I'd feel about my husband reading my teenage ramblings. He's never asked. Doubt he'd be able to decipher my teeny-tiny writing anyway .

However, your boyfriend's attitude is an enormous red flag - get rid.

MrsTP - I normally agree with your posts, but you're being unreasonably judgemental about diarists.

No it isn’t.

OP already knows with this guy that he is looking for stuff to use against her in the future. That’s why her gut instinct kicked in.
and you with your “defensive and secretive” schtick can fuck off too. Demonstrating the entitlement of those for whom everything is an opportunity to “take down to use as evidence against”

get that fucker out of your life OP.

The only people I have ever known to have a diary have been those children who had no friends.

Most have humans they tell their feelings to. Those who don't tend to turn to paper

Even were this true, which it's not, why is popularly at school a green flag? The most popular kids at my school were proper wankers. And some still are. Give me a lovely, pensive nerd any day.

I'm just imagining you saying, "ewwww reading".

Oh, huge apologies MrsTP - the quote nesting confused me, I realise now it wasn't you being judgemental about diaries. Ignore me.

MrsTP - I normally agree with your posts, but you're being unreasonably judgemental about diarists.

Alright, I'll give Pepys a pass. Being as he's a bloke and Ulterior thinks that means be can't have a diary. But Woolf? <side eye>

Late night wine and quote nesting meant I misattributed a post to you . Sorry again.

Not a problem @Antarcticant I'm having a little too much fun for similar reasons hic.