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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be offended by a comment my friend made?

689 replies

creamysauce · 06/08/2022 17:31

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit Confused I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

OP posts:
ClumpingBambooIsALie · 06/08/2022 17:38

Where on earth do you get jealous 🤣 I wouldn't be remotely jealous of your decision to take on a breathing-compromised, suffering millstone. And I like dogs!

Jobsharenightmare · 06/08/2022 17:38

As a dog owner I say she’s right though! And honestly I would never own a brachycephalic breed either

^ agreed.

hennybeans · 06/08/2022 17:39

She's not exactly wrong. I have a dog and I love her to bits, but she is a hindrance. We book our summer holidays a year in advance just to get a place with the dog sitter. She needs a walk come rain or shine, her insurance/ pet plan, food, dog sitting fees, etc really add up. If I've had a long busy day with the DC and I put them to bed and sit down on the sofa, she sees that as her turn for attention so then I have to get up and play ball. Obviously lots of good things too, but it is another creature whose needs I have to take care of.

hulahooper2 · 06/08/2022 17:39

Why would she be jealous , I have a dog , and her reasons not to are all perfectly valid

Cripes · 06/08/2022 17:39

I would never have a dog, for all those reasons plus because I don't like dogs. Of any type. The idea of picking up turds makes me sick. The jump up at you and get mud everywhere. They slobber. A lot of people who like dogs don't seem to understand that some people don't like them.

Pugfostermum · 06/08/2022 17:39

I have a dog and what she says is true.

However, I feel for me, the tie/costs of a dog is worth it for the rewards. Your friend doesn’t.
Her comments are fair.

colourmebladd · 06/08/2022 17:39

She’s not jealous! And she’s not being offensive, she’s right. Have you thought these things through?

Izzycat28 · 06/08/2022 17:39

YABVU

MajorCarolDanvers · 06/08/2022 17:39

YABU and silly.

Not everyone wants to own a dog.

I have many dog owning friends. I don't have or want a dog. I'd think my friends were bonkers if they were offended by my non dog owning inclination.

Notimeforaname · 06/08/2022 17:40

You asked her opinion on it!!!

pastaandpesto · 06/08/2022 17:40

She's just being honest! She's listed all the reasons why we have a cat and not a dog right now.

I also would never, ever choose a brachycephalic breed. I don't think they should be being bred at all.

Rowen32 · 06/08/2022 17:40

She was being honest, a dog is a big commitment, she was accurate in everything she said and I speak having owned dogs myself.

milesymoo · 06/08/2022 17:40

Everything she's said is completely true so not sure why it's upset you! I have a dog and she's right! I wouldn't change it for the world though!

You're massively over thinking this and in MN terms, need to give your head a wobble

fortifiedwithtea · 06/08/2022 17:41

She wasn’t being offensive and I agree with everything she said. Pets are a huge commitment and a block to spontaneous travel plans.

But don’t let her view rain on your parade. With a dog you get the best cuddles, the best welcome even if you just pop out for 5 minutes. They truly give all their love. I have a boxer.

Your friend isn’t jealous of you, its just dog ownership is not for her.

enjoy your new pup.

BlackberrySky · 06/08/2022 17:41

She has given all the same reasons I would never want a dog. It's a huge tie. You asked her personal view, and it's fine that it's different from yours. She didn't say she thought you were wrong or stupid, she just said why she wouldn't want one. If someone asks me if I'd ever get a dog, I answer honestly that I like other people's dogs but don't want the commitment of owning my own.

grey12 · 06/08/2022 17:41

I love both dogs and cats! And I have a cat for those reasons 🤷🏻‍♀️

Magicandspiders · 06/08/2022 17:41

Why on earth do dog owners think that every person NEEDs to love dogs. Not everyone likes them..I certainly don't want one and totally agree with your friend.

Lanawashington · 06/08/2022 17:41

Every single part of what she said is true. We have a dog who can’t be left alone so we have to plan everything around him. French bulldogs are notorious for separation anxiety. We can’t ever just go out like we used to without having to plan it in advance. We don’t do things unless it’s somewhere dog friendly, or someone can look after him for us which is very occasionally. We spend £125 a week for doggy daycare. I wish someone had told me what your friend has told you! I love him to bits, he’s the best, but if I knew then what I do now I wouldn’t have got a dog

Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 06/08/2022 17:42

creamysauce · 06/08/2022 17:31

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit Confused I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

Sounds like she has very sensible reasons for not wanting a dog, I don't see how that can be jealousy. And given she didn't say all of this until after you asked her then I don't see that she is subconsciously trying to change your decision either.

I have pets and I love them but honestly sometimes I do wish I could just spontaneously decide to go away for a weekend without having to sort out care for them. We want to take a months holiday soon to do a long distance trip but we may have to delay it a year or so because one of the cats is getting pretty old and I'm not comfortable leaving him for a month. Having pets changes your lifestyle.

Deadringer · 06/08/2022 17:42

I am not sure aibu is the place for you if you take offence so easily. Yabvu.

CuriousCatfish · 06/08/2022 17:43

She's right though and everything she said is why I don't have a dog.

sanityisamyth · 06/08/2022 17:44

Why would she be jealous? If she wants a dog she could get one. It's not an elite club!

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/08/2022 17:44

I love my dog but she's not wrong. have you ever owned a dog?

And please not that choice of breed. Every bugger has one now and the sound of their wheezing fills the off lead park near us.

MummyInTheNecropolis · 06/08/2022 17:44

Why would she be jealous? If she wanted a dog she’d just get one, surely? There’s nothing wrong with what she said, I love dogs but would never want my own for exactly the reasons your friend stated.

FawnFrenchieMum · 06/08/2022 17:44

Dog owner here! We rescued a frenchie a couple of years ago. Love him to bits and happy to take all the responsibility that comes with having a dog while the kids are still at home so fairly tied anyway. They completely adore him but I don’t think we will get another once he’s passed. Everything your friend has said is completely true. We knew that and went into it with our eyes wide open. We don’t regret him ever but won’t rush to do it again once the kids have moved out.