To be offended by a comment my friend made?

[creamysauce]

Hello :)

So I am getting a gorgeous French Bulldog puppy in a couple of weeks. I was discussing this with a very good friend of mine, about how I'm excited.. yadayada. So I then asked her "Would you ever get a dog or want to own a pet?". She immediately began to burst out laughing and said "No! I want to enjoy my life". A bit I asked "What do you mean by that?"- she then said "As I said it... I want to enjoy my life, owning a pet- particularly a dog, I wouldn't get the spontaneity back, I would be worried about leaving it in the house for too long, paying for this and that, having to take it for walks when I don't feel like it. Sometimes- out of the whim, I just want to book a holiday but with a pet, I will have to think about who is going to take care of it, dog sitters...I may get a cat as they are a bit more independent but still, a pet comes with a lot of responsibility".

I think subconsciously she is trying to sway my decision from getting a pet or do you think she's a tad jealous. I was a bit offended by her comment but she can be very out there/too honest for my liking. What do you all think?

Sickening isn’t it? 😞

It sounds bad. Genuine question, did you not do any research? Or is it a rescue?

Stop being a snowflake it was a personal opinion after u asked them a question

Your friend sounds sensible & honest Op. Hope you've considered how your summer holidays might look from now on though. I walk a dog for a charity twice a week & have been setting my alarm for 6.45 so I can walk the dog early before it gets too hot. My dh wfh so he gets up at 8 & my 2 teenagers are in bed til 11am ish. That's not even my dog (elderly Westie) but I'm obviously not going to walk her during the day in this heat. I used to be a vet nurse too. Have you really considered climate change & how much hotter our summers are getting & factored in your poor Frenchie who is heat intolerant and struggles to breathe in NORMAL weather?? We used to perform surgery on eyes all the time with this breed too. Not always just the soft palate/airways etc. Unless they are rescued I do feel some anger towards anyone who has knowingly bought this type of puppy - so I hope you're prepared for judgy looks when you're out with your new dog. Hope your kids aren't expecting to be able to chase their new puppy around or go on long walks with it because it won't be fit enough/could easily get heat-stroke etc. I love dogs and might get a rescue greyhound in the future (maybe) but they are such a huge commitment it's even putting me off somewhat & I go on long walks every day so am in a great position to adopt one really.

OP, I hope you are taking on board here what many people think of those who buy French bulldogs. I wish you would reconsider purchasing one of those poor, poor dogs. Is having a trendy accessory really worth knowing that a living creature will suffer each day of its life, struggling to breathe for your vanity? Why not get a rescue pup?

She's given her opinion which you asked for and she's right, Dog's are a pain in the hole, I have two, adore them but a pain when you want to go anywhere.

TBH I would agree with her. I had a lovely little dog, who unfortunately got very sick very quickly last year (downhill over about a month or so from diagnosis), and we eventually made the decision to put him to sleep. It was a devastating decision, but the kindest one for him as he was obviously suffering and confused. He was the best little friend we could have had, and I’d never regret the life we had with him, but I’m not in a rush to get another dog any time soon.
Having a pet is a massive responsibility, almost as much as having a child. You can’t leave them for more than a few hours, you have to spend time training, walking, playing, have expense of food, treats, insurance/medical bills, kennels if you haven’t got anyone willing or able to mind them if you want to go away. No spur of the moment trips, everything has to be planned in advance. You can’t take them everywhere you go, so even day trips need pre-planning if you don’t want to leave them at home while you’re out enjoying yourself.
Not everyone wants to have all of the stress, sacrifice and cost that having a dog inevitably entails, even those who love dogs. You really are unreasonable to find offence in somebody else’s opinion about their willingness to bring a pet into their own life and their home. You might have considered the pros and cons before arranging to get your dog, and came down on the pro side. Your friend may have had similar considerations in the past, and came down on the con side. You can’t fault her for being self aware and understanding how her own lifestyle is unsuitable to have a dog.

We got a dog in lockdown and I agree with everything your friend says. I love our dog but I am nostalgic for the footloose and fancy free days when it was just us, the two children and a cat! You can’t go out for more than a couple of hours without making provision for the dog, it’s a daily logistical headache and a massive (and expensive) tie. I wouldn’t advise anyone gets a dog lightly in the same way that you shouldn’t have children without giving it serious thought, both can obviously massively enhance your life if you’re willing to make the sacrifices they entail, but they do require sacrificing your previous lifestyle.

OP you are the one who sounds jealous. You asked, she answered, truthfully. But it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. And now that you’ve had time to think about it and from the response on here, you know she’s right. As she probably is always right and it rankles with you for some reason. You really need to explore why that is? You aren’t happy or confident in your life choices else you wouldn’t be on here trying to gather support for your personal views.

Fwiw you sound so similar to my friend it’s uncanny. She got a Frenchie because her kids wanted one and she finds it impossible to say no to them. She is now having a shit retirement as kids are at Uni and she’s left with a dog she never bothered training that has colossal medical issues.

As well as the dog, she talks about some of her hobbies like she’s just discovered their existence and it feels like she constantly seeks the approval of others to validate her life choices. She tries to get our friend group on board with her latest fad and then gets frustrated when we’re not interested. She’ll then move onto another fad and repeats the same cycle.

However the dog is for life which she hadn’t bargained for.

I’ve always thought a dog was more of a tie than having a child.

At least children don’t need to go on walks come rain or shine, and you get respite due to nursery and schools, and children can also go and spend time with relatives if you want to go out somewhere with your partner and children can generally go with you on holidays.

Having a dog must cause so many restrictions on your life.

My friend has just had to look after her relative’s dog as they went on holiday abroad and my friend said it was a bloody nightmare. She was definitely ready to hand the dog back over and said she won’t be offering to do it again.

Some dogs are incredibly cute (the little ones) but I really couldn’t imagine having a pet that would have such an impact on my life for such a long period of time.

You're offended because you asked her a question and she gave you an honest answer? I like your friend, sounds like she's just saying what others want to but don't dare!

That breed of dog have horrendous health issues.

Exactly this ...and your friend was polite enough to not even mention it!
Get a dog that can breathe

She was being honest. I too am of the not always tactful way of saying stuff category too. Dogs are as much responsibility as children, and they do limit your lifestyle when you get them. That's fine if you know that beforehand, but there's enough dogs in charity and kennels to show that many don't think it further than the cute puppy stage.