Calling all LATE PEOPLE

[scoobycute]

Have a few genuine questions for people who are consistently late...(not strictly an AIBU thread)

What is it generally that makes you late? (e.g no time awareness of how long things/travel takes, being slow at tasks, poor planning??)

Would you be offended if a friend pulled you up on your lateness? (Consistent 15-30mins late per social meeting say, not the odd 5mins)

Do you get annoyed when you have a friend that "out-lates" you? Or do you just accept that time isn't an issue?

I'm really struggling with a late friend these days and just don't know if/how to address it. She is the sweetest girl ever but her time keeping is shocking and usually has me frustrated by the time she arrives thus setting the get-together off to a bad start.

[tigger1001]

@LiarLiarKnickersAblaze

@tigger1001 those people sound awful and, like you said, you’re better off done with them.

Saw in another post you are studying as well as working full time and kids 💪 the only way to do that is to manage your time really well. You’re a rockstar 👩🏻‍🎤

Thank you.I do sometimes question my sanity at taking on everything but it will be worth it in the end.

I just stopped arranging stuff with them. Think it was after a year and I thought do you know I've not missed them that I realised they weren't worth my time.

[Zeb81]

Time management is difficult (undiagnosed asd) but also factor in social anxiety, if a friend was going to raise an issue when I arrive it makes it worse not better

[quiteinfuriating]

ADHD means I procrastinate and don't allow enough time to do everything I need to do before leaving the house.

Many a morning I'm working or on MN or faffing with something and don't give myself enough time for a shower before the school run.

[quiteinfuriating]

Also I'm always apologetic and would be mortified if you were upset.
I'm generally not more than a few minutes late.

Anything more than that is disrespectful

[SleeplessInEngland]

I let a friendship fizzle out because of chronic lateness. I think it was the utter indifference that got to me in the end, not even an apology or acknowledgment that it might be annoying.

I sometimes wonder if it was her way of exerting control, but maybe that’s overthinking it.

[coffeeisthebest]

@SleeplessInEngland

I let a friendship fizzle out because of chronic lateness. I think it was the utter indifference that got to me in the end, not even an apology or acknowledgment that it might be annoying.

I sometimes wonder if it was her way of exerting control, but maybe that’s overthinking it.

I had a similar situation, except she always would say the things that she had prioritised above being on time for me and they were things like, watching TV, sorting out bills, hanging out the washing, and she would say it as though it was plainly obvious why those things were more important than me. I just had to walk away in the end as it just seemed pointless. I also think it was about control for her.

[gotagooddeal]

I'm always on time and I have two small children. I think it's very inconsiderate when people are late especially when they've had the whole day to get sorted.

Example - I had a friend and she thought it was funny to be late. Being at her house and we have to be in central London for dinner at 8. I arrived at her house for 6 and she hadn't even showered. Was faffing about on her phone and talking on the house phone (not an important call btw). She took ages to get ready
It was so frustrating. We didn't end up leaving until 748 and still had to get the train into London. Obviously we were late and the rest had started eating without us

[hilariousnamehere]

@RedFolder you just described my life 😂 I'm exactly the same, even though I must know on some level that getting from bed to out the door does not take 20 minutes, every day my brain thinks it just might? It's incredibly annoying!

@cbatopainttheshed it's very comforting to know I'm not alone in this, though I'm sorry you and the others also struggle with it.

[Dancingwithhyenas]

What is it generally that makes you late? (e.g no time awareness of how long things/travel takes, being slow at tasks, poor planning??)

A combination of autistic child delays (sensory issues not wanting to put on clothes or meltdown about something unexpected) and ND meaning I’m over optimistic with my timings. I’m also terrible at boundaries so sometimes find it awkward/rude to leave the previous thing when I need to.

Would you be offended if a friend pulled you up on your lateness? (Consistent 15-30mins late per social meeting say, not the odd 5mins)
Honestly yes and probably wouldn’t continue on the long run to be friends because we aren’t compatible.

Do you get annoyed when you have a friend that "out-lates" you? Or do you just accept that time isn't an issue?
I have done, yes. Particularly a friend who was very flaky and would just cancel. Ive come to understand it’s the way her world operates and to not overplan or spend too much time getting ready for her. On the flip side she is very up for last minute plans.

I'm really struggling with a late friend these days and just don't know if/how to address it. She is the sweetest girl ever but her time keeping is shocking and usually has me frustrated by the time she arrives thus setting the get-together off to a bad start.

[FudgeSundae]

I have ASD and as a result I HATE waiting. It makes me anxious and I also worry about the rest of the day being delayed.