Breastfeeding Shamed by my DP

[Lullabies2Paralyze]

On holiday with our 4 month old breastfed son.
was in a pub garden having lunch and while waiting for our food I started to feed baby.

my partner said “cover him up” and I asked why (as I never do, don’t use a weird shawl thing but I wear baggy tops and just lift them up).

his reasoning was we were in a “restaurant” and there were other people. I ignored him and carried on feeding the way I do (pointing out he’s a baby not a 10 year old child so it shouldn’t be weird for people!)

I don’t have my tits out on display while doing it and personally I think covering my baby draws more attention to what I was doing.

who was being unreasonable?

YABU - you shouldn’t breastfeed in public places without using a breastfeeding cover

YANBU - it’s perfectly natural, your DP can go do one and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it

You’re obviously not being unreasonable. However you feel comfortable feeding, do that.

Your partner is an arse. Of course you can feed wherever you want. It’s sad that the voting is so split though - we have such poor breastfeeding rates in this country.

Personally I don't want to see it. Sure it's natural but so are lots of other thing I don't particularly want to see. I realise this is an unpopular view.

He's being ridiculous

It depends what was on show

your breast? Your tummy?

personally I wouldn’t like that to be in my line of sight

and I don’t care if it’s natural blah blah

however if neither of those things were in my line of sight then fine!!!

I wouldn't think twice about it! I've fed my baby so many places - waiting outside restaurants, sat at the table, on the beach, sat on the floor at Heathrow by the check in desks, on the train. It's way more discrete than you think it is. I've had people come right up to me and not realise, they just think the baby is sleeping.

Ha. I’ve breastfed everywhere from cathedrals, to supermarkets, to very posh restaurants. No one even notices, it looks like baby is sleeping.

Your husband should be more supportive. Normalisation of public feeding is the only way we can improve things. Or is he suggesting you buy one of those giant napkins that make it really obvious feeding us taking place?

The fantastic thing about human eyes is that they move about in your sockets. AND, astoundingly, your head is affixed to something called a 'neck' which also moves. It means you can change what you're looking at.

I know right? Every day is a source of learning.

Please please please can we support new mothers feeding their babies. Rather than have another thread of 'I don't want to see it'. It's natural, healthy, cheap, good for babies, mums and statistically good for all of us. And seeing it means we are more likely to do it, which is even better.

This is Mumset - you know the answer to this

And even if it wasn't, you still know the answer to this.

I breastfed my baby everywhere, and never used a blanket or shawl. It's completely normal, and anyone who thinks it isn't is the one with the problem.

So I voted YANBU. However, I don't understand what "your DP can go do one" means. Can you enlighten me?

@MrsTerryPratchett Absolutely spot on.

I'm astounded that 18% think you're unreasonable. Once baby is latched (which takes c10 seconds!) A there is nothing to see! Of course YANBU!

🤣👏🏼👏🏼

I don't think he was that unreasonable. I would expect someone breastfeeding to cover up as much as possible somewhere like a restaurant.

Put the cover on his head so he doesn't know it's going on.

I've never used one. For one, faffing about with them just draws more attention to what you're anyway so I don't see the point.

You are entirely reasonable and your partner is entirely unreasonable.

The law is also on your side.

Anyone who doesn’t want to see, doesn’t need to look.

Its not fair on the baby to stay sticking a blanket over his head, not is it in any way necessary.

I'm so sorry he did that to you. You are not unreasonable

Keep feeding your baby as normal and enjoy your holiday xx

If you don't want to see it, don't look - it really is that simple.

It doesn't exactly sound like OP was dumping her tit in the sugar bowl.

If you don't want to see it, don't look. A hell of a lot easier to accomplish than breastfeeding a baby.

Ah the 'I don't want to see it' brigade.

Here's a revolutionary idea for you:

Don't fucking look.

I don't want to see your judgemental face screwed up like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle either.

Not always true. I have massive norks so there is a lot to see if I feed in public. So I always try to find a private space. There are too many pervs around, especially in certain parts of London.

@Quitelikeit luckily it doesn't matter what you like in this case, and the law agrees, thank God.

The rest of you saying similar shit - it doesn't matter what you expect or what you want to see. You have no right to object. Sounds like OP was pretty well covered anyway - a baggy top will cover pretty much everything - but it's irrelevant.

OP, as regards this particular matter, you should tell your partner to go fuck himself.

My DH used to try and make me sit in the corner of a cafe or restaurant/close the living room curtains at home/stand in front of me in public 😡🙄I used to ignore him and sit where I wanted, fed where I needed to. He got used to it eventually my god it would piss me off. I knew you couldn't see anything. Hoping this time he's a bit more chilled out.

Why though?

It's not like she was squirting people in the face with breast milk?

And as a PP said, your eyes and neck are movable.

@FreyaStorm well, totally up to you, but anyone telling the OP she should do that if she doesn't want to is in the wrong.