Breastfeeding Shamed by my DP

[Lullabies2Paralyze]

On holiday with our 4 month old breastfed son.
was in a pub garden having lunch and while waiting for our food I started to feed baby.

my partner said “cover him up” and I asked why (as I never do, don’t use a weird shawl thing but I wear baggy tops and just lift them up).

his reasoning was we were in a “restaurant” and there were other people. I ignored him and carried on feeding the way I do (pointing out he’s a baby not a 10 year old child so it shouldn’t be weird for people!)

I don’t have my tits out on display while doing it and personally I think covering my baby draws more attention to what I was doing.

who was being unreasonable?

YABU - you shouldn’t breastfeed in public places without using a breastfeeding cover

YANBU - it’s perfectly natural, your DP can go do one and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it

Don't look then.

Most babies don't like having a cloth over their heads when feeding, especially in hot weather.

I'd tell him that if the baby has to eat with their head covered by a shawl, so does he. See how he likes it.

I see topless men walking round the streets in summer & I think, women can't do that - why should they be able to.
On the flipside, I do think a breastfeeding mother should be able to feed however the hell she pleases and wherever.

I remember DH telling me to cover up when I was breastfeeding DS as a newborn in hospital when the paediatrician came into my private room to see him. I still feel a little mortified. I wonder if the paediatrician really noticed. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong.

I fed everywhere with my two. Nobody every said anything.
More than likely you'll be fine.
If anyone doesn't like it it is very much their problem. Your babies needs trump others prejudices.

Wow.

Law abiding, respectful, intelligent people don’t care if you don’t like babies being allowed to eat blah blah blah

Absolutely fine to breastfeed anywhere you want without putting something over your baby’s head.

Some incredible dickheads on this thread - I thought things had moved on from that sort of thinking, but obviously not. You should be the one to go away if you don’t like it.

I want one! I want one so much! 😂

The baby is the most important thing in this scenario and you were making sure the baby was fed.

YANBU! It's a restaurant... a place where people eat... sounds like the perfect place to feed a baby, if you ask me!

Perhaps your DP isn't "shaming" you at all. Perhaps he has noticed that other people are looking and he feels uncomfortable with someone ogling you? Just a suggestion

the op is asking if people prefer a cover in a restaurant

why are you all so offended and upset that some people would prefer a cover?

it was the question jeeeez no one is saying it’s disgusting feeding your baby or saying starve them - absolutely no one in their right mind would say that

but the op asked?!?!

What precisely gives you the right to decide how ‘discreet’ or otherwise a mother should be about feeding her child? You don’t have superiority just because you have done it before. Let new parents enjoy feeding their babies however they see fit, without worrying about the (obsolete and offensive) opinions of strangers. Breastfeeding is tough enough without battling this nonsense.

It's too bad that your DP has waited until you already have a baby together to show you what an utter arse he is.

People aren’t offended by posters saying that they prefer to cover up when feeding a baby themselves, they are offended by the posters saying that women should be covered up when feeding because they ‘don’t want to see it’. Huge difference.

Tell DH to cover his head while having his lunch nobody wants to see his ugly mug. Comfy no, well why should baby?

I'm giving DH the benefit of doubt and thinking has never really been around BFing mums or has never noticed BFing mums so feeling a bit uneasy.

LOL, if you'd told me to be more discreet, I would hope I would be so polite as to only tell you to fuck the hell off and mind your own business.

Pub gardens are designed for eating and drinking, can't see the issue!

What exactly don't people want to 'see' the back of a baby's head? A bit of tummy? I fed my kids everywhere and I don't think anyone would have realised.

No wonder some women don't leave the house with their baby.

Your baby was hungry and you fed him. Who gives a shit what people can or can't see. Are you meant to let your baby starve until you leave the restaurant?
your baby deserves to eat when he is hungry

Toilet was exactly what I was thinking about.
What’s the problem?
Go, deal with it and continue the day/night/whatever, and bother no one.
Win-win.

What the fuck?!

This is the worst response on this thread.

Yeah right. You're clearly a dick so should only be 'out' in a toilet too. Off you go.

Would you eat your own meal in a toilet?

I hope when his dinner came out, you put a blanket over his head!

Wow 12% think you are being unreasonable, just wow. It's breastfeeding a baby not walking around with your tits out like it's a laudancing bar! I'm currently feeding my 3rd child, never have I not fed any of them in public or shoved a cover over their heads to do so. I've always fed them anywhere and everywhere, no one would have any idea I was feeding as my babies head always obstructs anything, there's no tits to see! Feeding in a restaurant is the one place you should be allowed to feed, it's a baby eating!!

WTF, I can't think of anywhere more inappropriate to feed a child. Would you eat in the toilet?

Are you thinking a mum should sit on the pan while her baby feeds or on the floor by the sinks?