To want to meet a wealthy man

[Whatsthematterwithyou]

Is there anything wrong with it?

I wish I’d made different decisions when younger and considered ambition and drive when looking for a partner.
I met my ex in my teens and was with him until two years ago (I’m 44 now)
I’m single now with a young dd. I live abroad around a very wealthy area and it’s all I see.
I have always worked hard, in a satisfying role that makes a difference, but ultimately doesn’t pay massively well, I adore my job and get by okay.
I keep thinking about going out in my area/going to the local gym, in the hopes of meeting a wealthy man. It’s not just about the finances…it’s the ambition, drive, likely intellect etc
Is this wrong to think like this/want this?

This idea that a Christian Grey-type chap is the reality is nonsense.

Christian Grey was a whining, abusive, charmless bellend. (Good match for Ana, though, she was a twat as well.) He wasn't even a Dom. He was a switch.

That aside, though, even women who did find him attractive knew he wasn't real. It's strange. We seem to assume that men realise Pussy Galore and Lara Croft are fantasies, but that women take all the Mills and Boon and Christian Grey stuff seriously.

Out of interest - you heard all this from your DP about his ex presumably? Rather than first hand?

I know how you feel op.

I wish someone had told me when I was younger that having a DP with a high level of education, good work ethic and ambition can give you choices in life that you just don't have if you are struggling on average wages forever.

To posters saying op should get a high paid job- yeah good luck with that as a single parent. If you don't have out of hours childcare you just can't earn the big bucks.

So OP come back and let us know how it goes hooking up with a rich man.

I dated a very very wealthy man after my divorce. I always felt like I was being tested as to whether I was after his money. So I ended it. He was shocked. He was much older than me and at times this made me feel like I was trading my life for money. I now date someone a little older in the same financial situation as me and we feel like a team. We laugh and share a bottle of wine. We are both building a future together. I am very happy @

Actually I also dated another wealthy man. He was critical of me. Sharp tongued if I was ever late. Everything was about him. He could talk for hours and hours about himself. He loved attention from everyone. Was non committal. I felt like an object. Sex was awful really selfish in bed. Although he did pay for meals and had a few nice homes and travel was always 5 star. I dumped him. No thanks.

How long did you ensure that kind of shit for??

I am married to a multimillionaire. It is through family wealth. We met at university and really clicked. He was (and still is) the most loving, sweetest & handsome man in the world to me. I wasn’t aware of his wealth until later into our relationship but the money doesn’t make a difference to me!

We live in a wonderful home, have a nice life however I still carved a successful career (which I’m so-so about) and have my own money just in case the worst happens and I don’t have any money of my own!

Is there any reason why a wealthy man would want you? If not, then you want something you'll never get and it's just a waste of time.

Don't you mean a certain type of wealthy man, if you're thinking of hanging around specific places like the gym? Disclaimer: I have a highly paid job and my own money/investments, so wouldn't have sought out a wealthy partner.
However, I met DP completely by chance. I didn't know at first, of course, but he is independently wealthy. As in, family are landed gentry and he is also a high earner. It just made me laugh as he's never set foot in a gym in his life, has never driven a car newer than 10 years old and when he has to buy new clothes will pick them up from the nearest supermarket. You'd never know, most people don't as he doesn't like talking about money.

So true. DH wears ripped t shirts and his car is 11 years old!

So if family wealth

does he get an allowance?

No. The money is tied up in investments (in his name) but can access whenever necessary. He has a very high paid job (we both earn about £80k each) so there is no real reason to access it

Not high paid in SE commuter belt sadly!

So tied up in investments but he can call upon it? Does he? You’d need to surely if you live in SE or London to have a really wonderful standard of living. Presuming you don’t? Otherwise he’d be tapping those investments regularly!

We live in Oxford so pretty much South East. We don’t have a mortgage together (I have a separate mortgage for a property in my name only just in case we divorce, the property we live in is mortgage-free). We also don’t have children which keeps costs down!

On what planet is 80k not "highly paid"? People have really drank too much of the kool aid.

Meghan was independently successful with a marriage already under her belt. The person everyone could learn a lesson from is her sister in law who knew what she wanted at 13 and chased it relentlessly. Who among us is living the life they dreamed of having at 13? How many eligible princes are out there that could potentially make you a Queen? She was incredibly savvy.

80K is a good salary, but it’s hardly ‘wealthy’.

Obviously the person being discussed is wealthy, but that’s because they’ve inherited family and have other assets.

It’s not highly paid from the point of view of a lot of people in banking, law, accountancy, or who are successful doctors, surgeons, or who run their own successful business.

I have friends in and worked in a couple of the sectors you mention. 80k is objectively highly paid. I suppose your line of thought is akin to someone who's worth 1million basically being a pauper to the likes of Bill Gates or Elon Musk. That's an odd measure but 80k is highly paid.

Sorry I typed that incorrectly/ Was meant to say Dp's ex was a wealthy man.
I've met him, he's ok, to socialize with.
I did house share with a wealthy woman, most of her friends were wealthy. I have to admit some of the men came across as rather twitish compared to myself and my normal social circle. Polo was fun though.

Thos thread is equal parts hilarious and depressing

@Happyandyouknowit82

Are you hugely attractive? I'm not sure if you mentioned it?

🤣

I suppose its a good enough match one shagging for money and the other for looks.

We also don’t have children which keeps costs down

Understatement 😂

Not now sadly

Twenty Years ago - yes

@Happyandyouknowit82

What happened in the last 20 years?!