To want to meet a wealthy man

[Whatsthematterwithyou]

Is there anything wrong with it?

I wish I’d made different decisions when younger and considered ambition and drive when looking for a partner.
I met my ex in my teens and was with him until two years ago (I’m 44 now)
I’m single now with a young dd. I live abroad around a very wealthy area and it’s all I see.
I have always worked hard, in a satisfying role that makes a difference, but ultimately doesn’t pay massively well, I adore my job and get by okay.
I keep thinking about going out in my area/going to the local gym, in the hopes of meeting a wealthy man. It’s not just about the finances…it’s the ambition, drive, likely intellect etc
Is this wrong to think like this/want this?

Time to look for a new job that pays well.

Are you a journalist?

If not,make your own money is my advice

This ^

@Mennex ? Of course not, I’m a teacher. I love my job and everything it entails

@userxx I love my job though and don’t want to change my actual profession, it’s my passion in life.

I think a lot of people would want the same, but won’t admit it

Just makes me think of Melania Trump and her revolting husband.

Make your own wealth!

I would like that to

I don’t see anything wrong with it I want financial security

i have a job that I value I’m not driven by money but would like to be comfortable

Well I'm not one of them.

I would very much like to have a fuckton of money without my having to do any work for it, but I've no interest in trying to get my hands on somebody else's.

Yes see if you can earn more yourself.
i agree with you that drive is important- to me it’s not about the money but about living life to the full and always looking for the good and the new. No way could I be married to someone who was happy just settling. I don’t think you should feel guilty for wanting a partner who is really ‘alive’ and kicking! To me that’s very important. I also hate sitting still and love trying hard at hard things. My DH is the same. It does require some patience sometimes because you can’t both always fire on 2 cylinders and still see each other… we have stints where I do a lot of ‘following’ and other times he follows me. But it’s not boring! And weve done a lot of different things in our time together X

OP
move into positions which are better paid.
When you look for a partner, look for drive and ambition.
But…. Does drive and ambition always translate into money?
What happens if you meet someone with drive and ambition, but they think YOU lack it because you are not paid as well as them?

This is a good chance for you to think deeply about what your values really are. Because while it’s not wrong to want to be more financially comfortable, and “marrying well” might seem to be a way to achieve that without changing anything else in your life, you’d want to think really carefully about how much you want “earns well” to be a priority in a partner and what exactly you’re going to offer in return.

People tend to be attracted to people who offer either something similar to what they offer themselves, or who offer something that they don’t have themselves. So if you want a partner who earns a lot more money than you do, what special sauce are you bringing to the relationship? Or what are you prepared to compromise on in exchange for wealth?

Seriously? I thought we were past relying on a man for money? Go for promotion if you don't want to change job, get a 2nd job, make some cuts but get your own money.

The comments on here are always to make sure you have your own money, women are struggling when they divorce. It's one thing I've learned from here is to be financially independent
Stop trying to be a gold digger, they will see through it

Everyone saying "move into a better paid job" needs to prove a feasible plan for how that's going to happen for OP.

And do people really think OP wouldn't have done this if it were possible? Bit of an insult to their intelligence to be honest.

So you want to carry on doing something you love that doesn't pay enough money for you, and ponce off of someone else whose wages are enough for you?

Would you think it was ok to ponce off of a wealthy female friend because you don't want to change your job?

It's not really intelligent to think it's ok to go through a relationship with a man, with your hand firmly in his wallet though is it?

No-one owes the OP their own hard earned money, just because she doesn't deem hers enough.

Perhaps instead of making different decisions when you were looking for a partner, you should have made decisions about your career if money is so important to you.

If you are serious about finding a wealthy new man to pay for yours and your daughter’s lifestyle, you may need to consider what you bring to the table yourself.

I am currently going through separation from my husband of 15 years, together 24 years.

He is suddenly, within the last 5 years earning a massive amount and would probably look like a great catch to someone that doesn't know him. He's now wealthy in most people's eyes, but not a nice man at all. It's not all it's cracked up to be, trust me.

You can have plenty of drive, ambition and be intelligent but not have a great paying job, just like yourself. Doing what you love and are passionate about doesn't guarantee good income, even if you're the best of the best at it.

Also seems a bit double standards that you want to work the job you love rather than change for a better paid option to make the wealth yourself, and have them be the main breadwinner with the job that pays rather than neccessarily be their passion, as to truly get very highly paid for a job you love is surely pretty rare, high pay usually comes with high stress and workloads.

All just seems very shallow to me also to want someone for the contents of their wallet. I'd genuinely rather just get by but be with a truly loving man with great personality that i loved, than settle for an okay guy with a big bank balance, no matter how much future security it provided.

Well, OP, let’s say you do meet a tycoon and marry him. After a few years you could end up one of these women we quite often hear from on MN whose “D”Hs think they should be the household drudge and never spend time with them because they earn so much more or who trade them in for a younger model who is also mainly interested in their money.

A lot of rich single men are incredibly tight with their money and when they do pay for anything they expect praise plus act like everyone owes them. Be careful what you wish for.

wealthy men are rather difficult.
doubt it's fully enjoyable 24/7.
they tend to guard and ring fence some money so it's not always fully accessible.
if they are currently working they usually put in insane hours on cell phone till 10pm.
if not they are still online on cell checking their investments for long periods of time. sometimes international banking involves odd time zones.
lots of interest in them personally from others (both women and men who want to steal business secrets)
two types those that drink (risky health/lifestyle) and those that are gym freaks and orthorexic.
to earn large sums and keep it they all need to have a certain nasty streak (kicking out tearing down seniors homes for profit, taking advantage of others businesses when the owner is at their lowest point and desperate).
generally not invested in parenting.
often change plans based on cell phone messages at last minute...think not showing up for booked holidays or dinner reservations.

I married for love last time. Next time it's money. Not because I don't earn my own and I can't afford a nice life myself but because love got me nowhere so I'll be interested if the person has their shit together and is in a very well off financial state with little to no other baggage. That's my prerequisite if I was to ever trust again.

Don’t you think that a man who has money or has a well paying job wants to be with someone who likes him rather than the size of his wallet?
Being brutality honest if he’s the type of man who doesn’t care about that and is happy to be with someone who is in it for the money I’m not sure that a 44 year old woman with a young child would be his first choice.

This, yet it is also Mumsnet that says don't judge SAHMs?

Which is it - judge SAHMs for dipping their fingers in their partners' wallets or don't judge them because they're entitled to live as per the agreement they've made with their partner?