To want to meet a wealthy man

[Whatsthematterwithyou]

Is there anything wrong with it?

I wish I’d made different decisions when younger and considered ambition and drive when looking for a partner.
I met my ex in my teens and was with him until two years ago (I’m 44 now)
I’m single now with a young dd. I live abroad around a very wealthy area and it’s all I see.
I have always worked hard, in a satisfying role that makes a difference, but ultimately doesn’t pay massively well, I adore my job and get by okay.
I keep thinking about going out in my area/going to the local gym, in the hopes of meeting a wealthy man. It’s not just about the finances…it’s the ambition, drive, likely intellect etc
Is this wrong to think like this/want this?

She got older?!

@RenegadeMatron

So?

I know plenty of 40,50,60 yo who are hugely attractive

It's all relative, £80k would be lowly paid in our group of friends.

Average earnings are probably around £300-600k, but higher for investment banking (where 7 or 8 figure bonuses aren't abnormal). Property values of £2 million plus (which doesn't necessarily equate to a particularly large house in our area of the SE).

I also have friends not in this earnings category who are equally appreciated and valued.

So if not the gym, where?
I don’t really go out drinking at night etc…dog walk?

So do I.

But I also know that lots of people do lose their looks over a 20 year period.

It’s not unheard of….

@RenegadeMatron

Not really.

Not from 20s to 40s. Not if that is the only change.

Not if you're stunningly attractive

@Whatsthematterwithyou A few people upthread have said polo, golfing etc. Thing is to bag one of these men you're going to need to be around them. One of my closest friends who now lives a life of luxury got a job in a magic circle law firm and within a year (so essentially hadn't even done all the seats etc) met her now husband who is quite a bit older than her and that was job done. As far as she was concerned her 'work' was to get into their circles and land one. I admit I'm impressed by the savviness at that age - I was propped on a bar between various freelance gigs.

OK. 🤷🏻‍♀️

London.
south east commuter belt

3 children
Bereavement
divorce
anorexia

@Happyandyouknowit82

I'm sure you're still attractive

If you go with a man for his money, you spend the rest of your life earning it. She definitely did.

But then if you go with a man without any money, you spend the rest of your life not getting paid.

I prefer the former, but maybe not Trump!

Given we all have to make sacrifices in life money can really solve a lot of problems. I don't envy Melania Trump for example but given where she was coming from landing Donald Trump was like going from getting dinner at a drive through McDonald's to having your own personal chef in a private jet. Life involves multiple trade offs and you have to know what you are willing and not willing to trade. Many women will find themselves in loveless marriages regardless of their husband's financial status but the difference is I'd rather be crying on a yacht in Cannes than a Premier Inn in Skegness.

@VladmirsPoutine

All of who've presumes women are incapable of making their own wealth

Or that cannes or skegness are the only 2 options

And what would you bring to the relationship? There's a lot more to look for than money. A man with money might not have other characteristics that you would find attractive. What characteristics do you have to offer in return?

Dog walking….

🤨

@Topgub I spend a lot of time banging on about how women even those married to rich men should still be able to stand on their own two feet. The SAHM threads especially I've written extensively on how damaging that can be for women who spend years raising the kids only to find themselves divorced with only the clothes on their backs having spent years out of the workforce. I am a huge supporter of women earning their own wealth but that's not what this thread is about. The OP wants to meet a rich, wealthy aspirational man. She's 44 with a kid already. I would never personally peg my own financial security on a man but equally I won't date men who aren't at least on the same level as me.

@Happyandyouknowit82

They reminded me that I had sold out. They were dirty. Hanging on to them and selling them would’ve only made me feel dirtier.
So, no. It’s all a matter of self worth and not a matter of foolishness. But it’s always good to know where other women stand.

I would have sold that shit and pocketed the money without a backwards glance or thought!

I've had to buy shoes for him before because they have holes in them... "but they'll do for now". 🤦‍♀️
His brothers will happily spend £100+ on a single t-shirt, DP proudly tells them his entire wardrobe costs not much more than that that. 😂

Probably best to not go out specifically looking for wealthy men, if I'm honest.

I would imagine most extremely wealthy men are quite arrogant. I find arrogance very unattractive. It is however more attractive than a pauper.

So what do YOU bring to the table?

Go for it, at the end of the day marriage is a financial partnership and if you can hitch up with a wealthy man, why not? As for those who say get a promotion or work harder, most people do the best they can but don't have the drive and/or intelligence to do better so reach a certain level at work and that's it.

If you want something, it's usually best to take action that makes it more likely to happen.

But there are more attractive women than fabulously wealthy men, so any rich bloke who's looking to make that trade off probably doesn't have to look far.