I don't wanna go anymore. I changed my mind.

[NutellaEllaElla]

Ages ago I agreed to go to an event with 3 other people, cost £55 a person already paid. It's not an event I care much about but my DH and the others (his friends) do. Just today I realised it's in the evening tomorrow (not convinced I knew this when I initially agreed) and we won't be due home until 11pm. I have a full on busy day at work on Monday, I know i'll be tired and irritable as I am a morning person and i'll be cold, tired and fed up. So i've changed my mind and don't want to go. DH is of the opinion that I agreed before and have to go.

AIBU. and WWYD.

Go

He doesn't get to dictate what you do, you are perfectly well within your right to change your mind. I'm sure he'll have just as much fun just him and his mates.

Go. 11 is not that late, you agreed and I hate it when people cancel last minute for silly reasons.

Don’t go if you don’t want to. Do buy a calendar or use the one on your phone!

As long as you have paid for your ticket and are not leaving others lifting the bill it is okay.

You might enjoy a night out. Monday will come and go whether you are tired/hungover or not.

Totally your choice.

Are the three people your dh and another couple? Would anyone lose out financially except you?

I feel like you have been deliberately vague here.

Your not being unreasonable if you don't go, but you should try to get out and go and you'll probably find you enjoy yourself once there. Even tell yourself you don't have to stay the whole evening.

2 couples and now you're pulling out after agreeing and paying to go? YABU

If that's the case

Sometimes I do things DH really wants to do and I don't; sometimes it's vice versa. It's called compromise and respecting each other and sharing what another likes. I think it would be selfish not to go unless your dh is 100% OK with it.

Wear tights, bring an extra jacket, down a dioralyte before bed and have a berocca in the morning.
You'll be brand new.

You don't have to go if you don't want to. But if you have shared finances, I wouldn't blame your husband for being a little annoyed that you wasted the $55. Or if it's a "couples" type event, if you're leaving him as a third wheel to the other couple.

I think it's rude to pull out last minute, tbh.

11pm isn't late, especially as a one-off. I think you need to honour your commitment and go.

I know if I had plans with DH and he pulled out last minute because he has a busy day coming up at work, I'd be pretty pissed off.

Well he can't make you can he?
Who paid? If he did, I'd suggest he finds someone else or I'd pay him the money.
If you did, remind him he's not the boss of you
Is he relying on you for a lift ?

Is it the Euro final??

While I fully empathise, I think you should go. You'll probably have a great time ( regardless of what it is)!

Of course you don't have to go.

We paid for the tickets already. He wouldn't feel like a 3rd wheel, if anything i'm the 3rd wheel. The busy work day thing is a bit of an excuse tbh although all true. I just don't think i'll enjoy it.

I hate that you're right that I wouldn't be impressed if the situation was reversed.

This

If my other half decided the night before I'd be furious tbh

Of course she doesn't "have" to go.... but yes, I think the OP is being mildly unreasonable in not going, just because she doesn't really feel like it.

Her DH obviously shouldn't force or try and make her go, or go ballistic that she's not going, but he's entitled to feel somewhat pissed off.

So, yes OP, YABU, but it's not a big deal.

Even if the money is already paid, it's wasted if you don't use the ticket, or he can't sell it.

Of course no one can force you to go. But I’d think ‘But we won’t be home until eleven o’clock!!!’ was a pretty lame excuse if I was your partner.

I'm in a similar state of mind.

I was looking forward to it but, no home nations have qualified for the session I'm attending and, like you didn't appreciate that it doesn't finish until 10pm and then there will be the hassle of getting out and getting home.

Your initials aren't DP are they NutelleEllaElla? If you are my friend shall we just tell our DH's to go alone?

If you got bullied into agreeing in the first place then it’s not really your fault you’re pulling out, but you really need to tackle the fact you’re in a relationship where your DH bullies you.

Otherwise it’s really rude to someone you’re supposed to love.

The very definition of selfish is just doing exactly what suits you without regard for others (in this case your DH who is expecting you to go as you had agreed).

Will your DH have to lie on your behalf about why you aren't there? "She cba" probably won't cut it!

It's a bit late to pull out now but if your husband is happy going without you then stay home.