I don't wanna go anymore. I changed my mind.

[NutellaEllaElla]

Ages ago I agreed to go to an event with 3 other people, cost £55 a person already paid. It's not an event I care much about but my DH and the others (his friends) do. Just today I realised it's in the evening tomorrow (not convinced I knew this when I initially agreed) and we won't be due home until 11pm. I have a full on busy day at work on Monday, I know i'll be tired and irritable as I am a morning person and i'll be cold, tired and fed up. So i've changed my mind and don't want to go. DH is of the opinion that I agreed before and have to go.

AIBU. and WWYD.

Depressingly, around 75% of threads on MN nowadays are created by the category of person you describe @DoncasterHombre

Why did you agree to go in the first place?

I wouldn’t go, but I’d have said no thanks right from the beginning.

Yabu

There is no other reason, than you can't be arsed.

Obviously you don't have to go and nobody can force you, but I'd be pissed off if I was your husband.

I don't make plans with people that do what you are thinking of doing. It often ends up being a waste of money and makes me feel like shit that I'm not worth people keeping plans with.

If you were unwell or there was a genuine emergency they made it impossible to go that's one thing, but having work the next day and potentially being a bit tired is a piss poor reason to pull out.

Bloody hell - no wonder some people live in a permanent state of offence and anxiety if even the mildest criticism is described as ‘harsh’. Of course she was flaky - suddenly deciding you just can’t be arsed and pissing 55 quid up the wall is the definition of flaky.

Why will you be cold?

People saying "11 isn't late" - it depends on the individual. It might not be late for you, perhaps it is for the OP. For me it would be late (I have a sleep disorder and am usually up by 4am).

Why do people continously apply their own n=1 experiences and assume it must apply to everyone else?

@FlorenceOrTheMachine then perhaps you're not typical and shouldn't conflate your experience with that of others. I'm sure the OP would have mentioned it if she had a sleep disorder.

OP you may find you enjoy it nore than you think. I am forever agreeing to do things and then, when it's time, feeling tired not wanting to go. But I make myself (because I'd already committed) and they are never as bad as Im fearing- sometimes I have a great time.

Personally, I'd go 11.00 isn't terribly late, and one grumpy morning isn't the end of the world. Your DH obviously wants you there - you might be surprised how much you enjoy it.

On the other hand, it's paid for, you aren't leaving anyone with a bill, so if you really can't face it, don't.

Even if you don't go, won't he wake you up when he arrives home and comes to bed?
That would completely screw me over - I'd rather be bored and go to bed tired than be woken up.
If it's a sport event, take a good book and a blanket.

You don’t have to do anything you dont want to, life’s too short to force yourself to do stuff to make other people happy.
The responses on here are a prime example of why so many women just end up people pleasing to their own detriment.

For someone deciding who is an adult or not, you seem strangely focused on other’s bodily functions.

Can you go for a short time and return early? In your position I would.call the other wife and see if she feels the same way and bail together if you agree or do something more interesting with her. It is cold today I agree, and wet.

Just bloody go. Life is a lot easier if we all just do what we agreed without hours of dithering and being precious . And I mean easier for you as well as everyone else.

If it’s commonwealth games tickets, been to a few events already of a variety of sports.some had home nations some didn’t, however the atmosphere, buzz and experience was great.

if it is that then not going was a waste, and you had plenty of time to sell them on.

if it’s something else then sure make your call but don’t expect DH to be happy about it

You should go.

Just today I realised it's in the evening tomorrow (not convinced I knew this when I initially agreed) and we won't be due home until 11pm.

You should have asked the time. Flakey people are so annoying. Is this what you’re always like, not findiing out basic things like timings and moaning later that you didn’t know.

It's the commonwealth games. It's such a ballache, the venue is a 40 min bus ride from the bloody car park! wtf? No those aren't my initials btw.

I don't know why I agreed to go in the first place tbh.

I know I sound childish but it's quite funny being called bed wetting. Is it fun making people bend to your will?

I'm caught between your valid points about not flaking out on DH, and not doing things I don't want to do as @Beefcurtains79 says.

Just don't go
Never feel forced to do something you really don't want to do.

You shouldn't have agreed to do go in the first place then** 🤷🏻‍♀️

But you have agreed and it** would be shitty behaviour to pull out at the last minute just because you can't be arsed with the hassle.

If DH tried to pull this with me I would be pissed off and probably quite hurt and angry, especially if I then had to explain to my friends why you couldn't be arsed to show up. It's embarrassing.

Luckily he doesn't flake on plans we make together.

As long as you’re cool with your DH not doing anything with you that doesn’t squarely sit within the “things I want to do for myself” circle. You can’t have it both ways.

Would you feel happy if your DH pulled out of a social engagement the say before just because he didn't want to go? If I were him, that is exactly what I would do from now on if you did this.

As a rule, I think people should fulfil obligations, do what they said they would do and not flake out of arrangements just because they've changed their mind. If it's a big event and you won't be missed, fair enough I suppose. But this is four people. The time will pass and I expect you have got the fortitude to get through an evening of something you'd prefer not to do.

If it helps, I went to the Commonwealth Games yesterday with my DH. I didn’t really want to go - logistics, timing etc. But I went and was glad I did.

Does you not going impact the other three still going in anyway? If it’s something awkward in a three or your driving or anything like that, it’s unreasonable.
If they can all enjoy it with or without you. Then your not unreasonable. Don’t waste time doing something you won’t enjoy.

Oh what a shame that someone else could've had that ticket. I don't get why you'll be cold in the middle of summer either, sounds like a lot of excuses for I can't be bothered.
I can't stand flakey people, if it's not your kind of event don't agree to go in the first place, or like in most relationships do something that's not 100% you, to spend time with your partner doing something social and fun. I'm sure he has attended things in the past he wouldn't have, for your benefit.