Bridesmaid pulled out morning of wedding

[Thatissorude]

AIBU to think that a bridesmaid pulling out of the wedding 1 hour before they were due to get hair and makeup done is a bit rude?
Their reason, they look fat in the dress and dont want the guests talking about them as they walk up the ailse. They also did not attend the day at all.

There has to be more to it…

Sounds really sad.

It is yes, but pulling out because she feels fat is quite drastic so I would be worried about her.

*aisle even

It's more than a bit rude.
It's incredibly rude.

I'm assuming the bride and groom paid for her whole outfit, hair and makeup, flowers, place at the venue and any other little bits and pieces? Is she going to refund them? Hadn't she seen herself in the dress prior to that?
Just sort of shows them how little the bridesmaid thinks of them.

It’s annoying but unless she has form I would think she must be feeling very anxious to behave like that

That sounds extreme. Either she is a total nightmare drama Queen or she has serious mental health issues. One is unforgivable, the other means she needs help.

Has anyone been in touch with the bridesmaid to make sure she is ok,

Well it’s rude but it sounds like she had some sort of breakdown and the normal etiquette rules don’t quite apply. There are clearly bigger issues than the wedding for this girl.

Not sure if there is more too it, I know she does like to be centre of attention and isn't usually bothered by appearance.

Oh this is so sad, I hope the bridesmaid is ok.

Was the bride having hair and make up done at 05:45 and bridesmaid dependent on her OH to drive her to the venue, perchance?

Mental ill health? Anxiety? Loss of confidence? Panic Attack?

Ah. Good point

@SliceOfCakeCupOfTea

Yes all paid for by bride and groom. She had a lot of input in the dress, tried on to make sure it was fitting right the week prior.

Do you know why whe cancelled at the last minute, are you a friend of hers.

I would assume it's true else you'd say you had covid?

So I'd not know what to think

Rude as you coykd say earlier you don't want to be a bridesmaid just a guest?

But then people do think it will be fine then have panic attacks.

I'd be so apologetic if it was me and offer money to cover costs etc.

Well yes, it's rude to bail out at the last minute; but I'd be more worried about why she did it. Does she have a long-term problem with anxiety about her weight, or is this out of the blue? Has someone - her partner? someone in the wedding party -been nasty to her?

I hope the wedding went well despite her absence; and I also hope that she's OK.

It sounds like the bridesmaid needs some help. If they are an adult. But there wouldn’t be more than a passing note of concern on the day.

what role do you play in this OP?

@Butchyrestingface
That would be quite understandable, but no it was for 8.30am

Well there's your answer OP. She's a Queen Bee.

Well yes it's rude. But also not a massive deal, just one less bridesmaid waking up the aisle.

She's pissed off with the bride for one reason or another and is being extremely passive aggressive.
Maybe extremely jealous?
Either way, not a good friend.

Bridesmaid is OK yes. I should have prehaps added that there was no real remorse and she was quite blunt, if you get what I mean?
I'm not sure if it was just an excuse as she really doesn't have trouble usually and has no trouble in the past. She also isn't overweight.

Did the dress actually not fit? Was it one of those where she was trying to lose weight but didn't? Otherwise seems a very extreme way to act, one which she must surely realise could cause the end of the friendship...