Bridesmaid pulled out morning of wedding

[Thatissorude]

AIBU to think that a bridesmaid pulling out of the wedding 1 hour before they were due to get hair and makeup done is a bit rude?
Their reason, they look fat in the dress and dont want the guests talking about them as they walk up the ailse. They also did not attend the day at all.

@BMW6

I think that is it yes.

It is very bad - the cost of having a bridesmaid outfit etc and then just to dump it on the bride on the morning is shit.
Yes maybe there’s more going on but it’d be going on a week before the wedding too…

Bang out of order. When was this?

Of course it's a big deal to the bride, was there other bridesmaids? What is the relationship between the bridesmaid and bride? Had the bridesmaid hinted at feeling uncomfortable being a bridesmaid prior to this?
I would be hurt and upset about this if I were the bride, and no doubt it would change our relationship going forward, a little different if she's having a genuine mental health crisis, but there's no real reason to think that she is, other than she's decided on the day of the wedding she feels fat in her dress.

@lemonyfox it fitted lovely and she did look nice in it, we tried them on the week before to make sure all was fitting right.

Still too early, unless the wedding was 11am, but I suspect that's not the problem.
Anxiety? Nerves?

(or to give her what for - sometimes shitty behaviour is just that)

Are you the bride?

😂

Too early?

Indeed. Not sure I'd be fussing around her, tbh.

Yeah, I know these things can take hours, but I wondered if it all got a bit much for the woman.

Thank you all for your thoughts on this, I am not the bride but I was the matron of honour.
I was not sure if my views of her were skewed a little as I saw how devastated the bride was.
They WERE best friends but are no longer talking as the the bride messaged to ask if there was anything she could do to help her feel more at ease or if she just wanted to attend as a guest but unfortunately it was refused. It then came to light that she was ok and had gone out that evening around town.

Thank You again for your thoughts.

Pregnant and suddenly realised it'll show?
Dunno. Can't be many reasons to let down someone who'd ask you to be at the heart of their wedding.

Sure.

Well, that's unusual behaviour, so something must have happened.

I think it’s awful behaviour.

I get that anxiety can be debilitating but the fact she’s tried on the dress and was happy with it shows it wasn’t about her weight else she would have mentioned it before now.

This is extremely odd, I’m so sorry this happened it must have been so stressful, and aggravating. it sounds like she could have body dysmorphic disorder- does that seem possible? It’s appalling behaviour on her part but people with BDD are often quite literally delusional and can be very hard to get through to.
Here’s a description of symptoms:

Being extremely preoccupied with a perceived flaw in appearance that to others can't be seen or appears minor
Strong belief that you have a defect in your appearance that makes you ugly or deformed
Belief that others take special notice of your appearance in a negative way or mock you
Engaging in behaviors aimed at fixing or hiding the perceived flaw that are difficult to resist or control, such as frequently checking the mirror, grooming or skin picking
Attempting to hide perceived flaws with styling, makeup or clothes
Constantly comparing your appearance with others
Frequently seeking reassurance about your appearance from others
Having perfectionist tendencies
Seeking cosmetic procedures with little satisfaction
Avoiding social situations
Preoccupation with your appearance and excessive thoughts and repetitive behaviors can be unwanted, difficult to control and so time-consuming that they can cause major distress or problems in your social life, work, school or other areas of functioning.

You may excessively focus over one or more parts of your body. The bodily feature that you focus on may change over time. The most common features people tend to fixate about include:

Face, such as nose, complexion, wrinkles, acne and other blemishes
Hair, such as appearance, thinning and baldness
Skin and vein appearance
Breast size
Muscle size and tone
Genitalia
A preoccupation with your body build being too small or not muscular enough (muscle dysmorphia) occurs almost exclusively in males.

Insight about body dysmorphic disorder varies. You may recognize that your beliefs about your perceived flaws may be excessive or not be true, or think that they probably are true, or be absolutely convinced that they're true. The more convinced you are of your beliefs, the more distress and disruption you may experience in your life.

Or - she’s just a bit of a shitty person ?

Can someone explain the 5:45 thing please?

Ah. This makes sense, its the normal behaviour for the Common Utter Cunt

They all tried on the dresses a week ago, Circleofshells. Unless it was very sudden onset dysmorphia... which is unlikely.

There’s definitely something more to this story. What’s the groom like?

Another thread, deleted. Supposed 5.45 am start for bridesmaid

I would be worried rather than angry if this was a close enough friend of mine to be a bridesmaid. I'd also feel rotten that I hadn't considered her feeling happy and comfortable in the dress beforehand, and made sure that she was OK to wear it.