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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Bridesmaid pulled out morning of wedding

245 replies

Thatissorude · 30/07/2022 18:55

AIBU to think that a bridesmaid pulling out of the wedding 1 hour before they were due to get hair and makeup done is a bit rude?
Their reason, they look fat in the dress and dont want the guests talking about them as they walk up the ailse. They also did not attend the day at all.

OP posts:
Clearthinking · 31/07/2022 19:49

I thought it was the same wedding I went to yesterday until I read on. The one I went to at least 10 didnt show, one was a bridesmaid! I was shocked but the reason given was a last minute holiday, which was booked after confirming the attendance of the wedding. They had to do a lot of chair switching around

Jack80 · 31/07/2022 19:57

I would check on her just incase it’s more than her being a queen bee

fetchacloth · 31/07/2022 20:00

BlanketsBanned · 30/07/2022 18:58

Has anyone been in touch with the bridesmaid to make sure she is ok,

Well, yes that was my first thought actually, rudeness aside.
It seems a drastic action to take making me think there's more to this.🤔

Diamondsareforever123 · 31/07/2022 20:14

Some spoiled attention seeking creature decided not to turn up for your wedding. It's rude and inconsiderate. But she's getting attention. I hope it hasn't spoilt your day. Take no notice!

Rosscameasdoody · 31/07/2022 20:25

Foronenightonly22 · 31/07/2022 18:27

It’s not rude. It’s very sad. Poor girl. She must be incredibly upset.

What don’t you understand ? She’s not so upset she couldn’t miss a night out on the town. What’s sad about that ?

3luckystars · 31/07/2022 20:25

she just wanted to ruin the brides day. I hope your poor sister is ok, and didn’t waste her wedding day talking about this loser. She is well rid of her!

pollymere · 31/07/2022 20:29

My chief bridesmaid had her dog run away on the morning of the wedding. I was originally freaked out but we pulled together, found the dog and were only slightly late for the ceremony! At no point did she say she couldn't be my bridesmaid. This is a terrible thing to do to someone who is supposed to be your closest friend. If it was in FB, I'd be wondering if she knows something about the groom or bride and couldn't face the wedding (such as she's in a relationship with the groom).

Ihearticecream · 31/07/2022 20:39

In years to come your sister will be relieved she wasn’t there…. What a piece of work!
Hope your sister and you had a lovely day!! 🤗

Johnnysgirl · 31/07/2022 20:45

pollymere · 31/07/2022 20:29

My chief bridesmaid had her dog run away on the morning of the wedding. I was originally freaked out but we pulled together, found the dog and were only slightly late for the ceremony! At no point did she say she couldn't be my bridesmaid. This is a terrible thing to do to someone who is supposed to be your closest friend. If it was in FB, I'd be wondering if she knows something about the groom or bride and couldn't face the wedding (such as she's in a relationship with the groom).

You were late for your own wedding searching for a lost dog? Wasn't there anyone else who could have done this? How peculiar.

drpet49 · 31/07/2022 20:47

The friend sole aim was to ruin your sisters wedding.

Topsyturveymam · 31/07/2022 20:50

I’ve been to a wedding where the queen bee bridesmaid DID go to the wedding and caused much drama. Be thankful she decided to cause her drama before the wedding! People like this don’t deserve friends.
I was a bridesmaid and (as much as I love my friend) the mother in law made the bridesmaids dresses…they were truly awful. I looked all kinds of terrible and matched the curtains at the reception. I cared not one jot…because it wasn’t about how I looked (the bride looked fab) and I had a fine time, even with my curtain looking frock!
This cancelling bridesmaid is not her friend.

Johnnysgirl · 31/07/2022 20:52

Arf at matching the curtains!

Mummyofmaniacs · 31/07/2022 21:51

Johnnysgirl · 31/07/2022 20:45

You were late for your own wedding searching for a lost dog? Wasn't there anyone else who could have done this? How peculiar.

Show quote history

You obviously are not a dog owner.....😂

Johnnysgirl · 31/07/2022 21:56

Mummyofmaniacs · 31/07/2022 21:51

You obviously are not a dog owner.....😂

Show quote history

Wrong.

It wasn't even that poster's dog.

THEDEACON · 01/08/2022 00:31

Glad bridesmaid was a "friend" and not a family member it makes it easier for the bride to cut the bitch out of her life !

MrsLighthouse · 01/08/2022 00:33

Does she suffer with anxiety ? She may have totally intended to attend but had an anxiety attack an hour before. If you have never suffered it or been close to someone who does ( in my case, my daughter ) it’s hard to know how painful and debilitating it is 😢

justfiveminutes · 01/08/2022 02:07

MrsLighthouse · 01/08/2022 00:33

Does she suffer with anxiety ? She may have totally intended to attend but had an anxiety attack an hour before. If you have never suffered it or been close to someone who does ( in my case, my daughter ) it’s hard to know how painful and debilitating it is 😢

If she suffers from medically-diagnosed anxiety like your daughter then she should have said no or made op aware of the fact that this could happen.

Otherwise, it's just the usual levels of nerves and worry about taking on such a visible role, which many people would feel but cope with or at least endure to fulfil such an important obligation to a friend.

She didn't even offer to attend as a guest, to help the bride get ready or anything - just didn't attend and went out into town with friends instead.

sueelleker · 01/08/2022 09:21

Clearthinking · 31/07/2022 19:49

I thought it was the same wedding I went to yesterday until I read on. The one I went to at least 10 didnt show, one was a bridesmaid! I was shocked but the reason given was a last minute holiday, which was booked after confirming the attendance of the wedding. They had to do a lot of chair switching around

I'm sorry; if you've agreed to be a bridesmaid, you don't then book a last-minute holiday that clashes with it! And if someone else booked it, you just tell them you've already got obligations. Was she the sort of person who regularly drops meetings if something better comes up?

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 01/08/2022 10:12

Jack80 · 31/07/2022 19:57

I would check on her just incase it’s more than her being a queen bee

As indeed as the bride to be did

whynotwhatknot · 01/08/2022 12:41

i suffer from anxiety-even if i couldnt do it id be so apolgetic and would stillattend as a guest this person has just been outright rude

Mummyofmaniacs · 01/08/2022 13:04

Johnnysgirl · 31/07/2022 21:56

Wrong.

It wasn't even that poster's dog.

Show quote history

It was however best friend and chief bridesmaid's dog. How little value do you put on best friend and furry friend?

Toria33 · 01/08/2022 13:52

Having recently been a bride … weddings can make bridesmaids crazy! Jealous in all sorts of ways, I had my MOH basically telling me to scale back constantly, monopolising the bridesmaids dress, putting down my dress. All because he partner of 6 years hadn’t asked her yet. Then 7 weeks before the wedding he asked her and she was cancelling things left and right to go to viewings and took one of the last dates of this year 9/11 😱(too one of my top three venues).
Now I’m her MOH I’m 3 months pregnant and plus size and non of the dresses she want will fit but she’s not giving up 😖 and wants to drag me around shops for hours and hours.

so basically the bridesmaids couldn’t put
her own shit aside and feel happy for your sister (because she doesn’t have it) and wanted to bring her down on her big day, to make it about her. The cost of bridesmaids is insane so she should demand the money back.

Nanny0gg · 01/08/2022 15:18

Foronenightonly22 · 31/07/2022 18:27

It’s not rude. It’s very sad. Poor girl. She must be incredibly upset.

Oh I bet she isn't!!

Nanny0gg · 01/08/2022 15:21

MrsLighthouse · 01/08/2022 00:33

Does she suffer with anxiety ? She may have totally intended to attend but had an anxiety attack an hour before. If you have never suffered it or been close to someone who does ( in my case, my daughter ) it’s hard to know how painful and debilitating it is 😢

Then surely you realise that it's unlikely you'll be able to cope with that level of stress so you don't agree in the first place?

GoldenRetriever24 · 01/08/2022 18:09

Seems like there is more to the story to me!

Maybe the bridemaid and groom had something going on…….. 🤔