Bridesmaid pulled out morning of wedding

[Thatissorude]

AIBU to think that a bridesmaid pulling out of the wedding 1 hour before they were due to get hair and makeup done is a bit rude?
Their reason, they look fat in the dress and dont want the guests talking about them as they walk up the ailse. They also did not attend the day at all.

Shes been off with the groom and cant stand the thought of standing there, watching them get married after shes been having an affair with the bloke for the past 2 years...

The rest of the comments are really kind and caring which has made me doubt my initial instinct which was to say ‘what a massive bitch!’ How inconsiderate and disrespectful especially as there must have been dress fittings, a hen do etc. this can’t have been cheap for the couple getting married.

If this is the brides best friend she would know if she has anxiety etc so it can't be that. My best friend is obese and when I asked her to be bridesmaid she said no because of her weight. I was disappointed but pulling out an hour before, I mean come on!! She would need an amazingly good reason or friendship would be over.

I secretly sobbed through my best friends wedding, I knew he was horrible. Even more so when he had a tantrum over the people complimenting the bride, but the best thing I could do was be a support to her. I gave her the chicken fillets out of my bra and had to spend the wedding hoiking it up so it didn’t fall off me. Also I looked like a mad pancake from trying to apply eight layers of foundation to hide my red nose. I should have said I had a cold but I’m not great at lying.

That bridesmaid is selfish. My sister had to learn the hard way about true friends too, she couldn’t bear to think badly of people. It’s very sad for your sister and I hope this is the last person she lets in her life like that. My sister did grow a better instinct as years went by so it can happen.

but I would be murderous if someone did something like that to my sister.

Hugs to you, @Pertinentowl . I too had a friend marry a nasty piece of work. All you can do is stand by them until they come to their senses and reach out for help, isn't it?

Honestly some people are just ar$ehole$ and toxic and need to be cut out of you life as they love drama and being the centre of it. Am sorry your sister finally saw the light after this appalling behaviour by her friend on what should have been a wonderful day for her. But at least she now has. My own sister is toxic like this and pulled out of reading at our wedding just before the ceremony was about to start. Needless to say we were prepared to be let down at the last moment and had already asked a groomsman to step in if she let us down.

Hope your sister knows it isn't her fault at all and obvs YANBU to feel so angry about such appalling behaviour. Some people just don't have the chip in their heads to behave reasonably or be kind to those they're supposed to. God know why.

Maybe a little understanding from you would be helpful.

Understanding from whom for who?

If this was a bloke people would not be desperately reaching for excuses on his behalf.

Yes, I had to help her do things that I would have never tolerated at all. It broke my heart. She worked a high paying job, she was the most beautiful girl in their community, she cooked for him every day, he didn’t want a cleaner so I would go round and help her clean and she had a panic attack when she realised we used detergent that she didn’t typically use and he might know. I mean the shock of the reality of that marriage..
He never wanted her at all, he punished her for being so amazing. He resented it and she was trapped by family and tradition. What was I going to do judge her? Things were hard enough for her. She needed to try and make it work for her own peace of mind. I knew it wouldn’t but she had to go through it.
twenty five years ago they divorced and I still think I’ll run him over with a car if I ever see him. Or the parents that raised such an entitled disgusting man. Her parents that pushed her into it as well.

Actually the whole world that mistreats someone and manipulates them. No one deserves that.
And I’m sad that I have the privilege of being able to tell who is a good person and being able to cut people out if they aren’t. It’s not cause I’m better or kinder or cleverer than them at all.

Anyway, original OP. I’m so glad your sister has you and her husband. Tell her that over the years many of have had shocking experiences with people we thought were friends and it’s a gift to get rid of them. She’ll be sad of course but I hope she can also feel how everyone that loves her is willing to protect her and support her.

This thread was discussed by Whoopi Goldberg et al on The View (US tv show)!

@Thatissorude "I am not the bride but I was the matron of honour." Then it's absolutely none of your business and you should keep your nose well and truly out. Stop s* stirring for no reason.

@sjk17

What a sad person you sound - not to even have a friend/ family member's back when someone lets them down.

The loyalty gene passed you by well and truly.

She can support her friend without posting the drama all over mumsnet - it's none of her business why the woman pulled out. End of.

It's none of your business what anyone chooses to post.
"End of" my arse.

Is that not the point of a maid pf honour? To support the bride?! And schnarf at 'end of' 😆

This sounds less like MH and more like a planned toxic dumping of the bride.

Some people are just poisonous and calculating, so I see no reason for PP's to do the BM's explaining for her. My DH's ex sent me an email on the morning of my wedding which was headed "have a lovely day!" or similar - surprised me as she really wasn't very nice - so I opened it. It attached some very old emails from DH saying she was the most beautiful, sexy woman alive and nobody else would measure up. And the actual message was "never forget that I could have him back anytime".

🤣 🤣🤣

What a pathetic cow!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=AIMX4aoojY4

I'm pretty sure that they are talking about this thread!

Op, I hope your sister had a nice day regardless of this incident? Even if the bridesmaid does suffer with her MH she should have voiced it sooner.

They are definitely talking about this thread and I have to agree with their conclusion. Who cares? As long as the bride and groom were there and they got married!