I feel most a peace when sleeping next to my children- too much right ?

ohfook · 30/07/2022 06:58

I did too. Through most of history across most of the world we've slept with our babies close. It's an instinct we had to basically keep them alive. Some people still have that instinct.

Throughabushbackwards · 30/07/2022 07:13

I co-slept with both of mine, and we still have our 5yo in with us sometimes. They won't want to sleep with you forever, also, they get pointy knees and elbows as they get taller, so your feeling may change at some point!

ItsAllInMyHeadImFuckingUpAgain · 30/07/2022 07:16

My friends almost 7 year old still sleeps with her & she regrets it.

You need to start a new routine and persevere with it.

Marvellousmadness · 30/07/2022 07:17

Hahaha. God you'll be in problems a few months/years from now

This is how children develop unhealthy sleeping habits. And how marriages fall apart due to the lack of intimacy.

SaintVal · 30/07/2022 07:22

My DS7 will sometimes come into my bed in the middle of the night/early morning. I have a king size and still sleep on 'my side' (exH left nearly 6 years ago) and most of the time I don't even realise he's there until I wake up and see his little blonde head on the pillow next to me! He's doing it less now as he's getting older and I miss it tbh. My baby is growing up!

SallyPallyMallyAlly · 30/07/2022 07:24

I too had my most peaceful sleep when I was in the same room as my DC. It's more natural to sleep near your little ones than in separate rooms.

ThatshallotBaby · 30/07/2022 07:26

I did and still do. It worked for us. In many cultures children sleep near or with their parents until puberty.
Follow your instincts not the herd

SalviaOfficinalis · 30/07/2022 07:27

I’m quite a light sleeper so I wake often in the night anyway. We have a video monitor in toddler’s room and every time I wake naturally in the night I just check the video monitor.
The screen holds the image from when you last looked, so when I press the button and it updates the screen I can see he’s moved position. So I know he’s still alive!
I find that quite reassuring myself.

Ponoka7 · 30/07/2022 07:28

Studies have shown that there's no difference in sleeping patterns at seven, in children who co-slept. You can reason with children from the age of four. It's upto you and your DH. I'd wait until the youngest is a bit older. It isn't popular on here but most people do use Christmas and wanting 'big children ' toys as a bribe to go up a development stage.

Albgo · 30/07/2022 07:31

Marvellousmadness · 30/07/2022 07:17

Hahaha. God you'll be in problems a few months/years from now

This is how children develop unhealthy sleeping habits. And how marriages fall apart due to the lack of intimacy.

Hahaha? Also you've posted a load of nonsense.

Sweatinglikeabitch · 30/07/2022 07:32

I've found this. I cosleep with DS but have been coughing alot and disturbing him so I've had a few nights in the spare room, I haven't been able to get to sleep! I just can't relax enough without knowing he's OK. I have no idea how people put their babies in a different room and just go to sleep!

I'm not worried about the future, he's growing up so quickly as it is.

Original poster

helloteas · 30/07/2022 07:33

Marvellousmadness · 30/07/2022 07:17

Hahaha. God you'll be in problems a few months/years from now

This is how children develop unhealthy sleeping habits. And how marriages fall apart due to the lack of intimacy.

Glad you find that funny

OP posts:

OhWifey · 30/07/2022 07:33

It's completely normal and natural. Go with it. She won't want to sleep in your bed when she's 15 and you'll miss the closeness. However, at 15 and having a hard time at school / first heartbreak she might just remember that mummy's bed felt warm and safe, and know that she can come to you for comfort even then.

Sellorkeep · 30/07/2022 07:49

SaintVal · 30/07/2022 07:22

My DS7 will sometimes come into my bed in the middle of the night/early morning. I have a king size and still sleep on 'my side' (exH left nearly 6 years ago) and most of the time I don't even realise he's there until I wake up and see his little blonde head on the pillow next to me! He's doing it less now as he's getting older and I miss it tbh. My baby is growing up!

Stealthy!!! My DSD used to do that very successfully to her dad. Now she mostly waits waits waits until we wake up (so thoughtful :-)) and then presents herself to announce she’s about to die of hunger. Sadly for my DP, night time sneaking into the bed is getting rarer and morning cuddles are getting shorter and shorter.

ImFuminHun · 30/07/2022 07:52

That's confusing.

Your title and your post contradict each other slightly.
If you're both most at peace sharing a bed, then why not continue the way things are?

If not, I really recommend gradual retreat, although it would be all hands on deck for that one if you have a 3 month old.

HousePlantNeglect · 30/07/2022 07:59

SallyPallyMallyAlly · 30/07/2022 07:24

I too had my most peaceful sleep when I was in the same room as my DC. It's more natural to sleep near your little ones than in separate rooms.

Same here (although defo not in the same bed as mine are wriggly little beasts!).

When they’re little, particularly when BF, I find I’m always really sensitive to noise at night and wake up at the drop of a hat when I’m in my own room. But if I’m in with them I have a much deeper sleep and if they do wake up it’s much less disturbing to my sleep if I’m in there.

Gradually I’ve moved back and as they’ve got older I sleep better in a separate room.

Simonjt · 30/07/2022 08:02

Its what most people do, my son slept with me from day one, he chose to start sleeping in his own bed when he was four, now he gets in with me about twice a week. Our daughter slept with us from day one, she’ll start sleeping in her bed when shes ready.

Ledkr · 30/07/2022 08:08

My 11 Yr old was poorly last night and came in with me. I still love it.
A while back my 18 Yr old split up with her long term boyfriend and slept in with me for a few nights too. I think it's lovely.

RoseGoldEagle · 30/07/2022 08:09

My 3 and 1 year olds are in bed with me. My 5 year old was in the same room until she was about 4 and a half, when she asked to sleep in her own room, and she’s slept their happily since then. I’m with you, sleeping curled up next to my children feels like the most natural thing in the world.

Thanks to the PP who shared the study showing sleep is the same at 7 whether you coslept or not, this is reassuring and so far fits my experience.

Shouldreallystopwatchingtv · 30/07/2022 08:10

helloteas · 30/07/2022 06:41

I have two, one is 3 months and the other is two and a half..

I've been keeping away from husband as to not wake him when baby cries as he has very early starts and I've now got used to sleeping with both of them.

When toddler sleeps alone, I don't like it.

It's now also become difficult to have her sleep alone. Last night I put her down alone and she woke up crying.. I'm not sure how to get her used to sleeping alone again..

Any advice ? I can't just sleep with both forever !

Your children are young and we pretty much evolved to sleep this way to keep safe. There’s nothing wrong with it - even if it isn’t the current fashion.

Mymoneydontjigglejiggle · 30/07/2022 08:16

I co slept with my 5yo until he was 2! Then we moved him to a toddler bed in his own room and soon he was sleeping absolutely fine there. It's normal to need to comfort a toddler in the night - even toddlers who've been in their own rooms from 6 months old. My 5yo now loves his own bed and recently (in the heat) we slept downstairs where it was cooler - he cried because he didn't want to be in the same room as us! This from the toddler who used to sleep cuddled up to tightly to me that I couldn't even get up to use the loo!
It is absolutely not something to worry about, nor will your children be in your bed until they are 18, nor does it spell the end of your marriage. It's totally fine and natural and you can definitely move to the DC sleeping independently. Some of my best memories of my kids as babies are those night time cuddles and I don't regret co sleeping at all.

AliceW89 · 30/07/2022 08:19

I’m confused. The title of your post says you feel most at peace sleeping next to your DC, and you say when the toddler sleeps alone, I don't like it

But then you go on to say you are trying to get her to sleep alone, which cause much crying, and I'm not sure how to get her used to sleeping alone again.

Is co sleeping actually a problem for you or not? Do you actually want to change things?

bubblescoop · 30/07/2022 08:20

Marvellousmadness · 30/07/2022 07:17

Hahaha. God you'll be in problems a few months/years from now

This is how children develop unhealthy sleeping habits. And how marriages fall apart due to the lack of intimacy.

Well that’s just bullshit.

FavouritePi · 30/07/2022 08:23

SaintVal · 30/07/2022 07:22

My DS7 will sometimes come into my bed in the middle of the night/early morning. I have a king size and still sleep on 'my side' (exH left nearly 6 years ago) and most of the time I don't even realise he's there until I wake up and see his little blonde head on the pillow next to me! He's doing it less now as he's getting older and I miss it tbh. My baby is growing up!

This.

They don't stay little or wanting of hugs forever. There are going to be stages they can't think of anything worse.

I can't work out from your post whether you need advice but I'd cherish it. It's only a problem if it becomes a problem for you and your household. It is still possible to get them in their own beds, if so.

easyday · 30/07/2022 08:27

I'm always wondering how people manage to have that second child if co sleeping with their first?