I feel most a peace when sleeping next to my children- too much right ?

[helloteas]

I have two, one is 3 months and the other is two and a half..

I've been keeping away from husband as to not wake him when baby cries as he has very early starts and I've now got used to sleeping with both of them.

When toddler sleeps alone, I don't like it.

It's now also become difficult to have her sleep alone. Last night I put her down alone and she woke up crying.. I'm not sure how to get her used to sleeping alone again..

Any advice ? I can't just sleep with both forever !

Totally natural. And exactly what nature intended.

I shudder when I hear people say that I must teach my baby to 'self soothe'. Or that my 2 year old needs to sleep in his own room.

I love nothing more than knowing that my babies are safe with me.. parenting doesn't just stop because it's dark outside.

Do what feels best for you and your little ones. You only get one shot at them being this teeny 💕

What a lovely picture of family life.

I like when mine are all in with me, feels like it's how it should be. It's comforting and reassuring they're safe beside me. They have a much more sound sleep too. They're not little for long.

It's very normal and natural to sleep with your children. The vast, vast majority of people who tell you how awful it is are the ones who don't actually do it. So weird that they have such strong opinions on the way other people choose to live.

It doesn't create bad sleepers. It doesn't promote clinginess. It's not inappropriate. It doesn't wreck a healthy marriage. It doesn't even need to affect your sex life. My kids sleep in our bed but I don't go to sleep with them at 7pm! When they're babies they sleep downstairs until we go up to bed and take them with us. When they are older babies/toddlers (and sometimes the older kids too!) one of us will go and lie with them until they fall asleep and then we come back downstairs and have a normal evening together as adults. Sex can happen in places other than the master bedroom at 10pm on the dot.

If everyone is happy and getting enough quality sleep then you're doing fine. Don't worry about "storing up problems for the future" or any of that nonsense.

Currently sleeping next to my 4 year old DD

We have "sleepovers" probably once a month. We watch a film, have a hot chocolate and sleep in the same room. She loves it and so do I.

My little one still sleeps with me. 2.5.

When she's ready she'll sleep on her own, no biggie.

Bollocks. Beds are for sleeping in. I don't need to sleep next to my dh to fuck his brains out everyone and then.

So sweet.

AHH, I did it for many years and it was absolute bliss.
They're all grown up now and it didn't ruin my marriage.

I do too.

It can impact on your relationship and has with mine.

DS wakes repeatedly for me, its easier to jump in beside him, that and a young teenager who randomly walks around at night will kill intimacy anyway.

It's lovely when they are young.

they are babies and it’s just natural

it’s a bizarre cultural thing that we have, wanting to get infants away from their mum at night.

ive never understood it.

I co slept with my child and then suddenly one day they wanted to sleep in their bed and I was gutted. Never had any issues, they stopped when they were ready. I mis the little hugs.

Watch the Bluey episode sleepytime. The next stages that come are beautiful too.

And in the meantime - you’re so right, laying next to your sleeping babies or little ones is so special. It won’t last forever so enjoy it!

@asdfff

Fo you think nature intended for us to sleep in centrally heated brick boxes, on big soft mattress with duvets and pillows?

Nature also intends for a large % of mums and babies to die in childbirth. Will we start letting that happen again?

And if your baby is in your bed its not as safe as it would be in its own bed.

I'm also not sure why you'd think it wasn't safe.

Unless you actually do live in the jungle

There is lots of safe bed sharing advice out there, there are still lots of cultures round the world that will bedshare so your comments don’t really stack up

“Unless you actually do live in the jungle”

such an ignorant comment.

@Preg19

Every single piece of data or research shows my comments stack up.

They all say that the safest place for a baby to sleep is on its back in its own bare sleep space.

Cultural practices dont change that.

Babies in this country aren't at risk of lions eating them so the comments about nature are a load of rubbish

Babies in ther parents big soft mattress are at increased risk of suffocation and sids

Now, you might read up on that research and decide the perceived benefits are worth the increase in risk.

Thats your decision. But don't pretend therisk doesn't exist.

Big co sleepers here, my eldest stopped around 2.5 and the youngest was nearly 12 when he stopped coming in (from about 8 it was only in middle of the night and maybe half the time) - he was a very poorly baby and toddler and I loved having him close.

They are now 14 and 12, both very confident normal kids. They still dive into our bed on a Friday night and we all watch something on an iPad, it’s a bit of a squash now but it’s just so lovely and a tradition I hope we can continue.

And my marriage is and always has been great - there’s never been any resentment from my husband over bed sharing as he isn’t an arse and like any decent parent did what we thought was best for our children (before I get jumped on I’m not saying co sleeping is best for everyone but it was for us). And frankly it’s far harder having sex with teenagers in the house than it was with toddlers and babies!

I’m talking about the comments you made about it being natural to die in childbirth and living in a jungle, I’ve never said there wasn’t an increased risk, I said there was information out there about how to share safely which funnily enough doesn’t include a big supersoft mattress

It is natural to die in childbirth.

And I presume when people bang on about it being natural to 'co sleep' they mean prehistoric cave/jungle dwellers who's infants were at risk of being eaten.

And yes. I know the 'safe' co sleeping guidelines don't include a big soft mattress but im also aware that hardly anyone actually follows them properly.

None of the co sleepers in this thread have mentioned a firm (new) mattress on the middle of the floor with just bf mum, long hair tied back, no duvet. No pillows. Certainly no dh and definitely no toddlers

Yep just posted on a thread complaining about how shit my sleep is. And that is true today. BUT also nothing beats the peace of napping with both kids happily snoozing. So beautiful and I also can’t properly relax now if they’re alone in another room. A mixture of feeling bad that they’re all alone when the rest of us (dh and I or other sibling and I) are together, and knowing that I’ll have to drag myself out of bed to go to them when they’ve already had a chance to work themselves up to proper distress if I didn’t wake up quickly enough.

Because, like fucking everything in this world, it's all about how it impacts men. They don't want to let the children have priority. They don't want to give up their spot in the master bed. They don't want to have to make any effort beyond poking their wife in the back to get sex.

Thankfully there are some men who realise that a babies place is with its mother, and if they won't get out of the bed they'll end up squashing it.

You're offering a different argument to what's being discussed. Babies need proximity to their parents. I haven't discussed cave dwellings or being in a jungle. I'm fully aware my children aren't at risk of being eaten during the night. But I'm also fully aware that they're needy little creatures and need love and their needs met regardless of the time. My children sleep better in with me. And I am mind blown that people put other needs before that. You seem a bit touchy. Did you practice CIO? Don't think there would be anything worse than feeling unloved. Xox