Is this how men talk? Is this acceptable? Met police court case

[Dalint]

What police 'allegedly' talk about when discussing rapes, DV victims, people with disabilities.....

www.lbc.co.uk/news/met-cops-sent-racist-and-sexist-whatsapp-messages-to-wayne-couzens-group/

"Detectives found material on the WhatsApp group stored on an old phone belonging to Couzens, the former officer who was jailed for life over Ms Everard's rape and murder."

It goes on further

"in the chat, jokes were made about West London being a "f Somalian s*hole", while in another exchange, Mr Neville said his experience of "struggle snuggles" had helped him pin "a 15 year old girl going mental to the floor".

Btw struggle snuggles was their term for rape.

"In another exchange, Mr Cobban said domestic violence victims "love it" and "that’s why they are repeat victims more often than not".

on and on it goes.

This is who protects us? This is who we report crimes to? This is who we are supposed to trust and respect?

AIBU in wanting to fucking protest outside that court?

Oh, and yes, I know about the dark humour used by cops to deal with horrible situations. I had a member of the victim identification unit stay with me who was dealing with the remains and the families of crush and burn victims from the quakes.

I heard and saw plenty of the dark humour. Dehumanising and belittling the victims and their terrible experiences didn't seem to be a part of it.

Not by raping women or talking about female genital mutilation or by abusing their position of power, or by referring to rape as snuggle cuddles, or saying abuse survivors enjoy it or threatening to shoot cats, dogs and people with Down's Syndrome. Not by saying you won't be fired unless you assault (finger) a victim. Not by saying you learned how to pin a 15 year old girl down by listening to rape victims.

That's not fucking humour. THAT IS PURE DISDAIN. Hatred. Unacceptable. It's not dark humour. It's sadism, control, hate, disdain, prejudice, lack of education, idiocy, arrogance, violence.

'Dark jokes' demeaning the body on the table? Jokes about how they deserved it maybe, or jokes about their genitals or their families? Perhaps jokes about fucking the corpse? Are you saying those sorts of jokes are made by hospital workers?

He seems to have had a lot of friends.

Humour? You call what these police officers said humour?

@stillvicarinatutu. Those comments are indefensible. Please stop trying.

The name of the man who raped and murdered Sarah Everard is Wayne Couzens, btw.

Nope. Most of are not naive. Most of us have never come across the level of cruelty and sadism that exists within solely the police force.

I am very far from a police basher. I have always been deemed something of an apologist for the police. Including the Met.

I have people chortling about my change of perception about the police, how reliable, transparent and trustworthy they are at this point. There is no room for apologists for these bastards. No room for dismissal of their recorded remarks as being banter, or being blamed on them having insufficient training to know that these remarks are unacceptable. The good apples that haven't been spoiled by far too many rotten ones in this barrel, need to want to distance themselves as far as possible from the rotten ones, by turfing them out of the barrel, as fast and far away as they can.

Otherwise, the respect, trust, good will, and therefore the 'policing by consent' is in ever increasing peril.

The ‘one bad apple’ line again.

When a murderer and rapist blends seamlessly into your working environment because his misogyny is just par for the course, you have a problem.

People seem to forget the rest of the saying re 'one bad apple'.

'One bad apple spoils the whole barrel.

"Humour
Dark humour
Unique humour
Coping humour"

Personally if I find nothing humorous about jokes about rape or sexual assaults against children as well as women.

It is indefensible, the fact that you as a police officer are coming here to defend, excuse and minimise and showing exactly how this culture exists within the police. Your posts are showing exactly what the problem is.

Comments made by a pathologist about bodies may be in bad taste, but those pathologists only have contact with dead victims. They aren’t sent out into the homes of vulnerable women who have been raped. They aren’t given the power to stop and search children on the street. They don’t have the power to legally detain and lay hands on someone.

The entire barrel is rotten I'm afraid.

There are boundaries. There are things you simply don't say and there are things which simply don't cross your mind.

I've dealt in difficult public-facing roles. We discuss the difficult ones in terms of how best to deal with them, how to placate them, who in the office is best placed to speak to them. We never joke about their ethnicity, colour, culture, sex, beliefs. We certainly don't fantasise about raping, murdering, assaulting, shooting or otherwise demeaning them.

You know what thread you're on.

You know what things the police officers have been saying and that this is a long term and widespread issue.

You are claiming it's 'dark humour'.

You said that hospital workers etc are the same and that this 'dark humour' is required in order to do the job.

You said we are all naive and it is very common and if we only knew what paramedics and morgue workers etc were 'joking' about...

So. On a thread about police officers making so called jokes about rape victims, DV victims, calling rape struggle snuggles, sneering at DV victims etc etc, you add hospital workers and front line services into the group that need this 'dark humour' which has already been established includes a lots of deeply disturbing things...

What are we supposed to think you are telling us if not that what the police say is also said by hospital staff etc?

This ^

Sadly, I agree.

I wish I could say that I'm surprised.

Yep.

Shocking that poster things he is the only police officer to murder or rape anyone.

Over 2,000 officers have been accused of sexual misconduct over the four years, that doesn’t include the ones police forces chose not to record and instead laughed at the victims or those reporting them.

We have officers right now going through the courts, Paul Hoile, Laurence Knight, Ernesto Ceraldi.

At least 15 serving police officers have murdered women since 2009. My wonderful friend and her six year old daughter were just some of the victims, leaving her two teenagers without a mother.

’What are we supposed to think you are telling us if not that what the police say is also said by hospital staff etc?’

Every time the right of women to be treated by women is brought up on here you get loads of posts by women saying why does it matter, you shouldn’t care if it’s a man, that they had a great male midwife/nurse/gynae and that they are medical professionals and just see a patient not a woman. Part of me is a little envious of their ignorance.

These officers will be ousted because the met can't afford the shit press . People say stuff all the time in private but act differently in reality. In many walks of life and in many jobs .

Only ousted because of bad press, not because they threaten to rape people.

Who on earth do you choose to associate with that threatening to rape someone is a joke? Or laughing about pictures of murdered women?

Out of all the messages they had sent, the one that hurts me the most is this one: "In another exchange, Mr Cobban said domestic violence victims "love it" and "that’s why they are repeat victims more often than not"."

There are 5 officers involved in that chat. Couzens, the three in court and the one who hasn't been charged.

5 officers in a group. FIVE. Police work in small groups of 20-30 people. 5 out of even assuming the maximum of 30 in a working group, is a massive percentage. That is at least 1/6th. Or 17 %. Of just that small group.

17% hold views that are abhorrent to the public. 17% of a group of people who deal with the most vulnerable members of society think that those members of society are fair game for the most despicable jokes/views/fantasies.

I suspect that 17% is conservative.

I’m so sorry about your friend and her daughter