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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Was this Dr rude ?

256 replies

wasthisdoctorrude · 26/07/2022 14:08

I recently went to a private Paediatrician with my baby. My daughter accompanied me, she's two and a half..

My mother also came with us. My daughter is pretty loud and pretty difficult at the moment. All three of us went into the room, whilst doc was examining my baby.

The reason all of us went into the appointment was so that my mum was there to lend an extra pair of ears to help me and ask questions etc.

My daughter kept just loudly talking whilst doc was examining baby and doc seemed irritated- which was fair enough. I kept telling daughter to shush, but it didn't last that long. She was just talking and pointing out what she was seeing in the room etc. the doctor remarked at the end that she was cute but needed a firmer hand. Ok fair enough, I can take that, probably also slightly true.

After the appointment, the baby was crying and the receptionist told us there was a room with toys we could sit in and play and feed the baby. So off we went to this room. As we got into the room, I realised it was not safe for toddler. Soon after, the doctor followed us and told us to leave the room as it's unsafe, I said, no problem at all- we can see. I will finish preparing the and we will leave. My mum left the room immediately with asked my daughter and I followed once I finished with the bottle, doctor seemed happy as the danger in the room was for the toddler really anyway. In any case, toddler loses her shit at being ushered out of the room and leaving me behind... I was the only one who could prepare the bottle, as my mum doesn't know how, so we couldn't switch places. In any case, it took a couple of minutes to do. I rushed down to my daughter and picked her up to calm her down.

The doctor comes in and tells us quite aggressively to leave the practice, as we are disturbing everyone there. Obviously we were always going to do that, as there was no space to feed anyway after we left the room.

It didn't feel great. I completely understand her frustration at my toddler being in the appointment. But she was pretty aggressive in telling us to leave. By the time she told us to leave, my daughter had stopped crying anyway. She probably cried for two to three minutes- the time it took for me to finish preparing a bottle for my baby.

Anyway, it didn't feel amazing. My mum was livid and thinks this doctor is a complete XXXX. I am a bit more forgiving and can understand that we caused a bit of a scene. However, as a doctor for children, surely you'd understand a toddler getting upset for a few minutes? We did our best to leave the unsafe room as quickly as possible, but I was already half making the bottle. So we didn't ' disobey ' her or anything like that.

We were just rushing around trying to look after two demanding children. Really we were doing our best not to disturb anyone. In any case, not sure if I'll see her again after that. I've never been kicked out from anywhere before !

OP posts:
MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 26/07/2022 14:12

Honestly,you sound an absolute nightmare from your post!

wasthisdoctorrude · 26/07/2022 14:12

Omg why ???

OP posts:
Eleusa · 26/07/2022 14:13

I'm interested in what sort of room is unsafe for a toddler supervised by 2 adults.

It does sound as if you were a bit much and made it hard for others- 4 people in the consulting room will have made things very difficult for the doctor and I'd have expected your mum to take your toddler out, which would have been much more useful than all of you staying in. It all sounds quite chaotic.

On the other hand, there was no need whatsoever for her to be aggressive in asking you to leave.

Ultimately, with a private doctor you're the customer- sounds like she doesn't want your custom so just go elsewhere.

Darkstar4855 · 26/07/2022 14:13

I think you were being unreasonable taking the toddler into the room to be honest, the doctor needs to concentrate on listening to what you say and examining the baby. Why didn’t you leave her at home with your mum?

acuteanxiety · 26/07/2022 14:14

Why did you bring two extra people?? There was 4 of you in there not 2

Not good

She should have stayed at home

You are the baby's mum you can ask the questions

You need to advocate for yourself

wasthisdoctorrude · 26/07/2022 14:15

acuteanxiety · 26/07/2022 14:14

Why did you bring two extra people?? There was 4 of you in there not 2

Not good

She should have stayed at home

You are the baby's mum you can ask the questions

You need to advocate for yourself

I was so tired, I had seen so many doctors, I needed another adult there with me.

We couldn't leave daughter at home, no one else could help.

OP posts:
Skinnermarink · 26/07/2022 14:15

I don’t think the bedside manner was good.

But it sounds like you made it loads more difficult than it needed to be.

wasthisdoctorrude · 26/07/2022 14:15

Darkstar4855 · 26/07/2022 14:13

I think you were being unreasonable taking the toddler into the room to be honest, the doctor needs to concentrate on listening to what you say and examining the baby. Why didn’t you leave her at home with your mum?

I put my hands up and absolutely agree that toddler shouldn't have come.

OP posts:
Footbal · 26/07/2022 14:15

There was no need for your mother to attend with you. She should have looked after your DD at home. Sounds like your DD was very disruptive and you could not control her behaviour. You were in a professional environment where people could be bringing sick children. Nobody wants to listen to a screaming toddler.

MomwasCasual · 26/07/2022 14:16

I think it might have looked like you were treating it as a family day out, rather than a medical appointment.

luxxlisbon · 26/07/2022 14:16

Why couldn’t your mum have stayed outside with the toddler while you accompanied the baby??

Dotjones · 26/07/2022 14:17

You're in the wrong, it sounds like the staff were at the end of their tether with you and just wanted you out before you caused any more problems.

PyjamaFan · 26/07/2022 14:17

I think the Dr did the right thing in asking you to leave. You were disturbing the staff and patients. There could gave been parents and children there receiving difficult news and dealing with serious conditions. They deserve a quiet environment as they wait.

SalviaOfficinalis · 26/07/2022 14:18

Why was the room with toys unsafe? Presumably if it has toys it’s for children?

ChampagneCharlieIsMyName · 26/07/2022 14:18

You’d have had a much better experience had your mum waited outside with the toddler. No need for four of you to troop in to the consultation room for a baby appointment. That way you could have asked questions and understood answers.

Again, screaming toddler, your mum should have taken your toddler outside, right outside the entire building.
Parenting is hard and it’s a learning curve, you know for next time. As for your mum being cross, no need for her to be. Doctor was busy so doesn’t have time to beat about the Bush. No need to take it personally.

honestly, between two adults you should be able to manage two children. Don’t give it any more thought, you’ll know better next time.

AuntieMarys · 26/07/2022 14:18

Your mother should have taken toddler out straight away.
Or not taken her in at all

hesttreat · 26/07/2022 14:19

How was it helpful to you having a very distracting toddler in the room? Ok you had your DM as well but honestly it sounds like you would've been better alone and much more able to listen.

SunshineAndFizz · 26/07/2022 14:20

Sounds like you made a bit of a scene, in the consulting room and the other room afterwards, and were taking your time to leave.

Skinnermarink · 26/07/2022 14:20

You wouldn’t have needed another adult to ask questions of you’d been able to listen properly, and for that you should have arranged for the toddler not to be in the room.

as for the waiting room situation, two adults should be able to handle a baby and a toddler. If not, toddler goes out, pronto, with one of the adults.

ariesalien · 26/07/2022 14:20

@MomwasCasual this.

There was no need for the extra adult and toddler to be in that appointment - that was a nonsensical decision. They should have stayed home with only the necessary people there to attend the appointment, especially if you know your toddler is usually disruptive.

Seems to be you that made this harder than it needed to be and I understand why the doctor would be miffed - potentially could've handled it nicer though from your perspective.

ShirleyPhallus · 26/07/2022 14:21

Why didn’t your mother just look after the toddler and you take the baby on your own?

what sort of room isn’t safe for a toddler, especially one that has childrens toys in?

Cas112 · 26/07/2022 14:21

I think you made it a lot more difficult than it needed to be and anyone who was having to deal with that situation probably would have got irritated

ghostyslovesheets · 26/07/2022 14:23

Honestly - no the Dr was not rude

It was an appointment for your baby not a family day out - surgeries are full of sick and/or worried people who don;t want screaming toddlers around - you had another adult with you - they should have stayed with the toddler while you went to see the GP (either at home, in the car or gone for a walk)

sorry but in this case you are being unreasonable

Sirzy · 26/07/2022 14:23

I have to agree with others. It’s bad enough trying to concentrate when it’s the child the appointment is for getting bored and complaining without adding in an extra child who doesn’t need to be there as there is an adult there.

I get sometimes it’s good to have an extra set of ears but not if that means the whole appointment is disrupted.

gingergato · 26/07/2022 14:23

You absolutely should have left DM and toddler in the car.

Surely you could have taken a written list of questions?