To tell you about my sodding holiday so far ...

[Thousandthingstosay]

Stuck in holiday cottage with family in North England and these are the highlights so far

• it's raining
• father in law in denial about brexit, everything is the fault of the French, lazy doctors, people who don't want to work. This is relevant as everywhere we go there are staff shortages etc and no service
• mother in law being passive aggressive about meals. Complaining about cooking while complaining if anyone else attempts to cook or offers to take everyone out for a meal.
• at least 50% of the guests regularly suck their teeth after eating
• brother in law snores louder than he eats (which is horrendous) and is permanently red faced and boorish.
• sister in law clearly plotting a divorce and continually asks me legal advice (not sure why as I'm not a lawyer and never divorced)
• we have a random silent farter among us
• DH is sozzled as a coping strategy for staying with his family and useless
• My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently
• The dog drags it's arse across the carpet
• Many of the family cheat at the indoor games or are horridly competitive
• The wifi is shit

It's only day 3. We leave Friday.

Sorry op but this just cracked me up

The last time we took my parents away with us it literally pissed with rain for five days,my dad put more money into the arcade machines for tickets for the kids than the whole holiday park put together,my mother wouldn't leave me alone and wanted to spend every waking moment attached at the hip.

My dads car broke down on the last day so we had to wait four hours for the aa in the pissing rain ☔️

Oh and my dad managed to whack his head off a metal stair rail and knock himself clean out

🤭 Sounds like Christmas in most famlies up and down the country. Except in ain't Christmas. OP What we're you thinking?

💐I'm sorry it's not funny, but it make me laugh. If you have any spare cash please take your teen Dd to the nearest large town for a shopping trip + nice lunch.

Why have you subjected yourself to this hell ? 😊

Been there, done that. DH and I think you need to plan lots of day trips. Just for the two of you. Though tbf your DD clearly has a point. .

*were

Sorry op but your dd mouthing 'italy' at you is hilarious, she sounds brilliant.

Oh dear, sounds very tedious. No constructive advice to offer. It really tickled me though, sorry😂

I mean in what world were you when you thought a holiday in thr North East of England with entire extended in law family Inc teenage daughter would be a good one? 🙈

What made you go???! This sounds like torture!!

There's clearly only one answer...wine...and lots of it!

1. get some alcohol.
2. drink it.
3. pretend to have covid and stay in your room cough on anyone who dares to enter

or you and DD fuck off home (there might be the odd train in the north?) and leave your pissed DH with his family.

Can you invent have a really bad illness of some kind that means leaving earlier than Friday ?
... ' I can't possibly give this bug to you all' as you heave the bags into the car for a quick getaway ?
Tell sil to look up ' getting your ducks in a row '

As a contrast, we did a weekend away with my parents, DBro and SIL recently and all commented at regular intervals "well isn't this nice" as we got on surprisingly well. DBro mentioned that perhaps we should organise another one only to get a death stare from both SIL and I. I think we'll quit while we're ahead and just reminisce about our wonderful weekend away.

Book Italy. Now.

go out, go home? vomiting bug that keeps you in room once you've stocked up secret stash. life is too short for that shit

If the dog is dragging itself across the carpet it probably needs its anal glands squeezed. It will be very uncomfortable.
This activity will add to the glee of your holiday.

I think it’s your MIL that’s the silent farter. Or the dog…

Take your Dd to Newcastle for the day. Don’t let any ILs come. Don’t let the farter come.

Dog dragging his arse along the carpet looks like the highlight here 😀

I suggest you and your DD make a break for it.

Sorry OP but your misery is funny 😄

Why did you go on holiday with them, sorry your own fault

Ah op. Remember, all shit good things come to an end. In the meantime, alcohol. Lots of it.

Sounds awful and deathly dull. Why on earth did you book to go away with extended family? You must’ve know what they’re like?