To tell you about my sodding holiday so far ...

[Thousandthingstosay]

Stuck in holiday cottage with family in North England and these are the highlights so far

• it's raining
• father in law in denial about brexit, everything is the fault of the French, lazy doctors, people who don't want to work. This is relevant as everywhere we go there are staff shortages etc and no service
• mother in law being passive aggressive about meals. Complaining about cooking while complaining if anyone else attempts to cook or offers to take everyone out for a meal.
• at least 50% of the guests regularly suck their teeth after eating
• brother in law snores louder than he eats (which is horrendous) and is permanently red faced and boorish.
• sister in law clearly plotting a divorce and continually asks me legal advice (not sure why as I'm not a lawyer and never divorced)
• we have a random silent farter among us
• DH is sozzled as a coping strategy for staying with his family and useless
• My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently
• The dog drags it's arse across the carpet
• Many of the family cheat at the indoor games or are horridly competitive
• The wifi is shit

It's only day 3. We leave Friday.

@antelopevalley · 24/07/2022 17:18
If the dog is dragging itself across the carpet it probably needs its anal glands squeezed. It will be very uncomfortable.
This activity will add to the glee of your holiday.
---------------------------

Best response yet! Sadly, I can't see a puking emoji ...... 😂

Have you identified the random silent farter yet?

Totally agree with goodskin46, you and your daughter need to escape and nothing like a bit of retail therapy to cheer yourself up , bad luck with the weather I was in Scotland beginning of the month, wasn't much better, also get wrapped up take dog for walk also a good way to escape, whereabouts are you , I hope weather improves for you , although some of your post made me laugh I also feel your pain , nightmare with mil re cooking doesn't help

OP, you ABU.

Your DD is a teen. You only have a few years left of her wanting to come on holiday with you. You should be doing cool stuff with her, not being holed up in some cottage playing board games. There is plenty of time to do all that when she has left home.

I used to go on holiday with my in-laws or my Dad and Step-Mum. Every time I did, I ended up upset for some reason or another. They asked me to go last year and I refused. I stopped when my eldest DC was about 6.

Not yet but I heavily suspect BIL given he inhales food. He's like a red faced hoover at eating times.

I think the last time I went on holiday with my in-laws was when we all booked a house together for Christmas and MIL decided that she doesn't really do Christmas and so we were not cooking. I was a lot younger at the time and found it hard to stand up to her.

I had some olives and a cheese sandwich for my Christmas lunch and rang my family, parents, brothers and SIL's and nephews, to say Happy Christmas and they were all sat round the fire playing a board game, all merry and festive.

I went to bed at 9pm, cried to my DH, and I NEVER EVER agreed to go on holiday with them ever again.

This is the funniest thread I’ve ever read on Mumsnet 😂😂. Thanks OP, this made me laugh so hard that I had tears rolling down my face. I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday OP

Your DD mouthing Italy at your is fucking brilliant 😂😂😂😂😂

Day 5

We're off on cable cars somewhere today, except MIL who is staying behind to make cakes as this is her burden in life.

No eggs for breakfast as needed for baking apparently. I'm eternally grateful.

FIL getting quite excited about the football this evening. The women may lack the looks to get a husband but they play better than Plymouth Argyle. There's a compliment in there somewhere.

DD given up on mouthing and moved on to silent shakes of the head. My ally has gone.

Start feeding the dog a single cheap wheatabix (with water) everyday, did the trick for our dog

Ooh enjoy the cable car adventure today! This thread has really made me laugh 🤣 I feel your pain! We're off to Cornwall in Aug with ALL of my ILs. So there'll be 8 adults (us, SIL/her hubby & BIL/his girlfriend & PIL & 6 kids of varying ages (7 up to 18) so 14 of us in total. We did similar holiday 4 years ago & I stormed off for a walk on my own/bit of a cry halfway through the week when it all got a bit much - hubby had a lovely relaxing time & I felt like I was constantly tidying up/preparing meals/making lunch for all the kids. I'm not great in big noisy crowds for that long/coping with so many kids. I'm taking LOTS of wine & gin plus headphones & books 🤣 kids are older so can make their own bloody lunch this time!

I think you've outed yourself there a bit with the cable cars OP 🤣 Everyone in that area will be on the lookout for a bum shuffling dog, a mysoginist middle aged man and an eye rolling teenager now 🤣

Given that that's the normal demographic of the British holiday-making family I suspect the OP and hers are fairly safe. Enjoy the dizzy Heights of Abraham OP

Why do people do these holidays? You are mad.

Ban booze, baring a single small glass of wine at dinner maybe, and go and find an activity holiday of sorts. I was reading something the other day about working on a farm for your holiday? All, get of your backsides and go and do something!

Beach holidays drive me up the wall, especially if its in Greece and its over 40 degrees everyday. We are off to Switzerland mountain biking (Lenzerheide) for two weeks next month. The drive there is a fun road-trip, stopping in Basel to see friends, we will ride roughly half the days. Off to Italy (lake Como) so son #1 can have a pizza in Italy, then we thought we would go to Lichtenstein one day.

Boring holidays are just that... boring! and I would never take in-laws. Next year do something different, this holiday find something to go and see. We were in Wales recently and went to Big Pit (old working coal mine) it was brilliant and it was free!

If this were me, DD and I would be packing up and going to the airport for a nice trip to Italy.

I'd have to, or I might be at risk of going into a fugue state and exploding at the teeth suckers.

Gosh I've just realised that we must be staying near to OP next week. We were toying with a trip to Heights of Abraham.

We'll be the party of 3 in their mid-80's, 3 of us in our 50's and two teens who've not seen each other for 3 years and haven't anything in common apart from (I presume) a few common genes.

I had suggested packing the teens off to Alton Towers, but foreign teen thinks it looks too scary. I am guessing it would be rammed, so I suppose I've saved us best part of £100.

Where abouts in the north of england? Can't you and your daughter escape for a girly day?

Reading this with recognition, sympathy and gloom. I’ve done these holidays more than once, swore a decade ago never again, and have been guilt tripped into another one by in-laws for a ‘special occasion’. It’s not for months and I’m already dreading it. Even the arrangement of it is driving me mad. Woe.

I might be wrong, but I fear you are not going to be wowed by the Heights of Abraham experience - unless the brilliant Punch and Judy bloke who was there in 2010 (unlikely I fear) is there again. There isn't much to do up there and the cable car bit doesn't last very long at all...

There are a couple of decent antique shops in Matlock (not Matlock Bath, which is hugely disappointing) and a few nice cafes - I do recommend Cool River Cafe for coffee and excellent cake or a bit of lunch. I used to live near there!

Read what I've said to the OP about the Heights of Abraham before blowing £23 per adult (if bought online - it's £24 on the day) for the privilege...there is bod-all up there.

Sounds terribly stressful, hardly a holiday for you. Go and do something you enjoy with your DH and tell the other adults they are in charge of food. Or have food out with your DH?

RUN
Is there a reason you have to stay ??

And a dog !!!!!

OP - so sorry but that list was hilarious. The silent farter 😂😂😂

This is the perfect opportunity for you and your DD to gang up against the world!
go and do something else. Then at least she won’t hate you.