To tell you about my sodding holiday so far ...

[Thousandthingstosay]

Stuck in holiday cottage with family in North England and these are the highlights so far

• it's raining
• father in law in denial about brexit, everything is the fault of the French, lazy doctors, people who don't want to work. This is relevant as everywhere we go there are staff shortages etc and no service
• mother in law being passive aggressive about meals. Complaining about cooking while complaining if anyone else attempts to cook or offers to take everyone out for a meal.
• at least 50% of the guests regularly suck their teeth after eating
• brother in law snores louder than he eats (which is horrendous) and is permanently red faced and boorish.
• sister in law clearly plotting a divorce and continually asks me legal advice (not sure why as I'm not a lawyer and never divorced)
• we have a random silent farter among us
• DH is sozzled as a coping strategy for staying with his family and useless
• My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently
• The dog drags it's arse across the carpet
• Many of the family cheat at the indoor games or are horridly competitive
• The wifi is shit

It's only day 3. We leave Friday.

Honestly? It seemed like a good idea as we hadn't met up for so long.

Why on earth did you decide to go away with family!!!!! I would rather pour a kettle of boiling water over my own feet than spend a holiday with them.

Why do people insist on going on holiday with their entire family ? I love my mum and my inlaws but a long lunch can be taxing. Make a mental note never again and just take the dh & dc away next year .

@whattheduece the op was only 10 posts before yours. Why did you quote the whole thing again?

This. I'm afraid you owe it to your DD to take her to Italy after subjecting her to this. Even if you have to get into debt for it!

I currently have covid and feel pretty rough, wouldn't swap though.

I need to find a film for everyone to watch tonight as a distraction. Something noisy to drown everyone out.

I won't even tell you about FILs comments watching the womens football.

Oh my. Make very sure DH isn't so sozzled he doesn't retain a clear memory of the Inlaw Holiday Hell. Alternatively - join him.

I'm going to guess the MIL is the silent farter.

Oh OP that’s really tickled me. Sounds like the pre use of a family comedy. The silent farter is hilarious 🤣

Wine, my love, lots and lots of wine.

Look on the bright side. Rather than returning home with the post-holiday blues on Friday, you'll be running through your front door screaming hallelujah.

We had one holiday with my late inlaws mid 90s and the only time everyone looked happy was on the journey home.

Take DD and DH for a walk presumably why you're in the NE.
Dog to vet - either worms or anal glands, neither nice for you or Ddog.
Take Ddog for a walk too.
Refer SiL to legal boards on Mumsnet.
Ask MiL what she wants to eat and get it for her. At least you can say that was what she wanted.
Get Fil plastered so he can't mouth off.
Not much you can do about BiL.

Book holiday to Italy.

I am currently sat outside my tent in Yorkshire Dales. It is so windy, cold and wet. The locals walk round dressed like they're in Benidorm and me like I am going to the Arctic.

Yeah join your DH in getting sozzled! When you've had enough wine / g&t or whatever your tipple of choice is book a lovely holiday to Italy.

On the meantime take dd to a nearby city for a day out whilst your away just the two of you.

roll on Friday for you 😂
cherred my ip as husband is being a bloody eyore about holidays today. Still nowt booked

I need to find a film for everyone to watch tonight as a distraction. Something noisy to drown everyone out.

Cats (the musical)?

Might cheer the dog up.

Your daughter sounds hilarious 😂😂 honestly get Italy booked if you can afford.

It does sound like a very successful short drama to be honest- use it as research and potential for a very good script! Failing that check out early if you can (like tomorrow).

Lmao at Italy. Cheered me right up

Ah, but it could be a million times worse. You could be stuck in the chaos of the queues trying to get to France via Dover, or stuck in the endless queues at airports. Count yourself lucky OP. Very lucky….

Just what I was about to post- love the sound of op’s dd

I thought this too, how witty 🤣 bless her

Get a credit card and fly to Italy with Dd. It’s heaven. Just do it. Feign an elderly hitherto unknown Italian aunt who’s about to croak.