To tell you about my sodding holiday so far ...

[Thousandthingstosay]

Stuck in holiday cottage with family in North England and these are the highlights so far

• it's raining
• father in law in denial about brexit, everything is the fault of the French, lazy doctors, people who don't want to work. This is relevant as everywhere we go there are staff shortages etc and no service
• mother in law being passive aggressive about meals. Complaining about cooking while complaining if anyone else attempts to cook or offers to take everyone out for a meal.
• at least 50% of the guests regularly suck their teeth after eating
• brother in law snores louder than he eats (which is horrendous) and is permanently red faced and boorish.
• sister in law clearly plotting a divorce and continually asks me legal advice (not sure why as I'm not a lawyer and never divorced)
• we have a random silent farter among us
• DH is sozzled as a coping strategy for staying with his family and useless
• My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently
• The dog drags it's arse across the carpet
• Many of the family cheat at the indoor games or are horridly competitive
• The wifi is shit

It's only day 3. We leave Friday.

You made the choice! Albeit a funny one.

that is why i dont do anything with extended family.

My dad has tried for over 12 years to get us 5 to go abroad with him. Over my dead body im going.

DH would sit under a tree reading last weeks papers
Dad wold be eating a full English with a beer at 10 am and woukd sit there all day. No walking, visiting anywhere.
DD is ginger and keeps out of the sun.
other 2 would be bored

and I absolutely loathe beach holidays.
you can choose your friends…..

Tempting

What a nightmare.....but oh so funny. If you survive this it will become part of family folklore in years to come.😁
I thought my holiday was shit! DP and I booked a lovely cottage at the Antrim Coast ( I'm in NI) . Just as we were setting off he got a text from his work colleague to say she's tested positive for covid. We put a box of LFTs in the car... "just in case" . Sure enough by later that evening DP has developed a cough and I feel like my head is in a vice. Positive ! We had only brought a little food....cereal, milk, bread etc as we had planned on eating out. All I could eat for the week was dry toast . The weather was beautiful , we were two mins from the sea but to add insult to injury all we could see was the funeral directors directly facing the cottage. We spent five days mostly napping ....the fatigue was unreal and at night we watched reruns of Still Game ....kept us sane(ish). The day before we were due to come home we decided we're gonna have to do something. There was a forest park nearby with spectacular views and two waterfalls . We thought we should make an effort , get some fresh air and if there weren't many people about we wouldn't be infecting anybody else. We got there, not many people so thought we'd go check out the waterfalls. Of course we didn't read the information sign...if we had we would have seen it was a 4k hike, down a gorge, along a river! Plus....I'm currently on crutches!
Off we set....sheer willpower got me to the bottom...but I couldn't get back up. My poor DP has to trek back up solo, get the car and drive out of the forest park and get as close to where he had left me as possible. We were wrecked !
Still....it proved to me that he's definitely a keeper...our first holiday together and we survived being cooped up together without wanting to kill each other.....we just laughed hysterically .

I didn't think they were an "amazing bunch". They sound like ordinary people, some of whom are of advanced years and with some of the health issues that come with that and people I would not want to go on holiday with.

Nothing would have made me agree to go on a holiday with my in-laws. It would be awful. I'd hate it- OP surely must have known it would be awful so I don't have any sympathy for her.

I wonder what the family are saying about her ? (perhaps something along the lines of "all she does is play on her phone with a face on her that would sour milk")

Get pizza and Aperol Spritz.

then you and your daughter can drink, be merry and fart

Kathy? Is that you?

Why not? They sound as though they deserve it.

Your daughter has covid feels very I'll and you need to take her home immediately if your husband won't go along with it then just leave with her and get yourselves to Italy even for just a few days or somewhere else or worst case home. this is not a holiday what you are doing right now

Well that's obvious - so that she could write a "hilarious" AIBU thread about them.

Massive sympathies, OP. DH and I were planning a safari before his DParents announced they were paying for their daughter & family to come over and would we please source them some places to stay in the Lakes/Peak District.

We're packing Johnny English and Skyfall!

My money is on DD being the silent farter as a way of inacting revenge on you for Italy. Every time she mouths Italy she is letting one rip 😂

We went away the once with the in laws who owned the property in France in the middle of butt fuck nowhere and sils and bils. It was absolute hell fil was like that Harry Enfield character I am considerable richer than yow! Sister in law is on another level of hell fire I ended up telling her to go fuck herself after numerous incidents ( needless to say we are no longer in contact with them) spent a week painting this fucking building with toxic road markings paint in 30 degree heat. We never went again despite the in laws saying the following year are you coming summer shutdown? I just walked out the room laughing

Dog sounds like he’s having fun though.

If you need a break don the wellies and raincoat and take him for a looooooong walk. Got to better that sitting with a mrs martyr and her gammon clan?

Sounds like you gave a chip on your shoulder

You need waterproofs in the north. Especially the lake District. I'm Cumbrian the wettest county so we're hardcore.😂😂😂

everything is the fault of the French

Ah well, why not? For 800 years we've been blaming the French!

It's been lovely in the north east these past few days! A few showers but nothing major! Whereabouts are you op?

Def take DD to the metro centre!

You could catch a show at the theatre in newcastle? Or at Whitley bay playhouse?

Go to cragside and explore the house?

If you haven't already, get on Amazon Prime and get yourselves some headphones and get listening to an audiobook.

thats why other people don’t go on holiday with their in laws op.

you live and learn as the saying goes.

I'd suggest Mamma Mia 1&2, The meet the Fockers series, accompanied by wine and snacks. At least some should enjoy!

Ah good luck OP, just go out even if its raining, it'll make a change.

I just spent a 6 week holiday with my parents, loved it because its my parents and I get on fine with them, but I was not surprised when my OH decided he better stay home and work instead (he was going to come for the first week) - holidays with inlaws can be stressful even if they are lovely people.

My DD teenager glares at me while intermittently mouthing Italy, where most of her friends are apparently

hahaha! Easily the best bit!

The silent farter was my favourite bit.

OP cracking opening....best giggle of the day....dig deep drink wine 🍷

Given that you seem to have gone on holiday by mistake 😉there is only ONE film for tonight. And that is Withnail and I.

You can thank me afterwards.