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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for DDs bikini back?

204 replies

WhoIBU · 24/07/2022 00:58

Last weekend we got the big pool out in our joint section of garden and filled it for the kids who use it.

Neighbours daughter who is 2 years older than my DD asked me if she could borrow a swimming costume.

She's quite a bit bigger and taller than DD so my only option was to lend her a new bikini I'd bought for holiday. Which my DD has only worn once and is from a decent shop.

I just assumed hers was in the was probably something.

It's now a week later and neighbours child still in my DDs bikini today in the pool.

I feel awkward asking for it back but angry really as I shouldn't be the one feeling awkward.

It's a light colour and I feel like it's now gone from being new to my DD going on holiday with a "used" bikini. Which may well be stretched too.

Should I just write it off as a lesson learned or shall I ask for it back?

OP posts:
Vodkafairy99 · 25/07/2022 20:49

Ummmm, the person who borrowed the bikini is now taking the piss. I'm sorry, but they really are. It was very kind of you to lend it to them, for one swim but now they are taking the mick. Ask for it back, it's your daughters bikini. It's not your problem if this kid misses out, she has parents who I'm sure can spare a couple of quid to buy her her own bloody swim suit. I don't think I'd be lending anything to them anytime again soon!

MammaMacgill87 · 25/07/2022 21:43

I'd write it off tbh, the kid obviously doesn't have one nor is getting one and now it's pretty much used. I certainly wouldn't lend anything in the future but saying it's the principal only affects the adult mentality and the child is effectively punished. Maybe that's just me though not sure

CustardySergeant · 25/07/2022 22:13

When your neighbours child returned the bikini had it been washed?

hatedbythedailymail22 · 25/07/2022 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hatedbythedailymail22 · 25/07/2022 22:31

Why in gods name was my post deleted? It was one of the most sensible on here!

I'll ask again why the people banging on about hygiene think vaginas are so filthy and disgusting?

Stolengoat · 26/07/2022 08:33

Op, I think you sound a great neighbour and mum. I'm ND too and find these type of circumstances difficult.

lollipoprainbow · 26/07/2022 08:38

@WhoIBU that would really piss me off! Especially if they are leaving your dd out too.

lollipoprainbow · 26/07/2022 08:46

MNers are such doormats, this isn’t an issue really

Why the need to be so nasty?? OP I would probably have done exactly the same but then I'm obviously a 'doormat' too as opposed to being a nice caring mum.

BestBeforeddmmyy · 26/07/2022 10:12

Tell your neighbour That you are now packing for your holiday, and would you like the costume back because you need to wash everything that needs washing and see how much space you have got left in your suitcase for the other stuff. Say you want it back today

diddl · 26/07/2022 10:15

OP HAS HAD HER DAUGHTER'S BIKINI BACK FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS!

rcd · 26/07/2022 10:40

I have lent items, offered lifts and generally tried to be helpful over the years and been met with the same indifferent behaviour as you experienced from your neighbour. Ask for the bikini back, wash it and chalk the whole thing up to experience.

Maves · 26/07/2022 11:02

I knew a cf like this but worse! If my girls ever left stuff on a sleepover her kids would wear the clothes on a day even pants wtaf if I asked for it back she'd say oh there's a pile of clothes I. Can't find them fucking weird.

Maves · 26/07/2022 11:04

Also are you sure the girl didn't tell her mum you gave it to her?! Not lent.tbh do you really want it back? It's basically underwear.

Livpool · 26/07/2022 11:54

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 24/07/2022 01:30

Why was it more important for your neighbours daughter to have something to swim in than for your DD to keep her brand new property? I can’t understand why you decided to be responsible for your neighbour’s daughter’s wellbeing and have prioritised her feelings over your daughter’s. Why are you thinking neighbours daughter will have nothing to swim in? Until she has to, she’s obviously not going to go online and buy her own. But more importantly, why is it your problem? Just ask for it back and say you need to pack it for the holiday. And don’t give away other people’s stuff again, your daughter deserves to be respected and to see healthy boundaries.

I agree with this - no way would I have lent something new. Plus someone who isn't very nice to your daughter

TarpaulinEyes · 26/07/2022 12:03

I'm fascinated with all the posters who share underwear and see no problem with it. Are you the people who try on swimwear in shops and remove the plastic strip protecting the crotch area despite it clearly saying not to? According to you it doesn't matter.

Well done OP getting the bikini back

hatedbythedailymail22 · 26/07/2022 12:06

TarpaulinEyes · 26/07/2022 12:03

I'm fascinated with all the posters who share underwear and see no problem with it. Are you the people who try on swimwear in shops and remove the plastic strip protecting the crotch area despite it clearly saying not to? According to you it doesn't matter.

Well done OP getting the bikini back

Another person who has never heard of the concept of washing clothes?

The plastic strip is because they won't be WASHED in between people trying them on. Underwear you borrow has been WASHED between people.

Does that seriously need to be spelled out? Don't you have a washing machine?

Johnnysgirl · 26/07/2022 12:22

hatedbythedailymail22 · 26/07/2022 12:06

Another person who has never heard of the concept of washing clothes?

The plastic strip is because they won't be WASHED in between people trying them on. Underwear you borrow has been WASHED between people.

Does that seriously need to be spelled out? Don't you have a washing machine?

Show quote history

Seriously? Do you buy your knickers second hand on eBay? Why not, when you have a washing machine? 🤮

Fluffmum · 26/07/2022 14:32

I’d write it off

soupmaker · 26/07/2022 14:34

RTFT FFS

Parpophone · 26/07/2022 14:36

Fluffmum · 26/07/2022 14:32

I’d write it off

But the OP has the bikini back?

Why would she write it off?

TarpaulinEyes · 26/07/2022 17:26

Johnnysgirl · 26/07/2022 12:22

Seriously? Do you buy your knickers second hand on eBay? Why not, when you have a washing machine? 🤮

Show quote history

Probably knits their knickers from wool they have gathered from hedgerows and spun on their ye olde spinning wheel. Saving the planet don'tchaknow

NanaNelly · 26/07/2022 18:29

hatedbythedailymail22 · 25/07/2022 22:31

Why in gods name was my post deleted? It was one of the most sensible on here!

I'll ask again why the people banging on about hygiene think vaginas are so filthy and disgusting?

It’s only you who’s saying that.

and you need to get your mind out of the gutter.

Isaidno22 · 27/07/2022 13:44

Just ask for it back. As others have said, you need to wash it for the holidays.

CustardySergeant · 27/07/2022 13:58

Isaidno22 · 27/07/2022 13:44

Just ask for it back. As others have said, you need to wash it for the holidays.

She got it back 3 days ago!

SofiaSoFar · 27/07/2022 16:14

If this thread goes on much longer with people saying "ask for it back", the neighbour's DD will have borrowed it again and we'll be back to square one.