To ask for DDs bikini back?

[WhoIBU]

Last weekend we got the big pool out in our joint section of garden and filled it for the kids who use it.

Neighbours daughter who is 2 years older than my DD asked me if she could borrow a swimming costume.

She's quite a bit bigger and taller than DD so my only option was to lend her a new bikini I'd bought for holiday. Which my DD has only worn once and is from a decent shop.

I just assumed hers was in the was probably something.

It's now a week later and neighbours child still in my DDs bikini today in the pool.

I feel awkward asking for it back but angry really as I shouldn't be the one feeling awkward.

It's a light colour and I feel like it's now gone from being new to my DD going on holiday with a "used" bikini. Which may well be stretched too.

Should I just write it off as a lesson learned or shall I ask for it back?

It's a backyard pool, she could've worn anything. Knickers and a tshirt if she's desperate!

When she's finished her swim, ask her to change out of them and bring them over so you can wash them ready for your holiday. And never give them back, obviously.

Eww, I would NOT want to wear a bikini a friend had worn, that’s disgusting. Even charity shops don’t take used underwear or swimwear. That’s gross. You need to buy your DD a new one, even if it’s Primark.

Did you lend it straight to the child or via an adult?

She could have just worn a t-shirt and pants! She's 4!

You can ask for it back of course, if lent through a child perhaps theres been a misunderstanding

What a huge overreaction. It will get washed. Have you never borrowed underwear from a friend in an emergency?

Yeah but what would have you said if you genuinely didn’t have one? She could have gone in in shorts and a T-shirt. Ask for it back.

@Carrotzen

She could have just worn a t-shirt and pants! She's 4!

How do you know she's 4?

Do you actually know if neighbour's daughter has a swimsuit?
You could ask her, once you've got the bikini back, and if not tell her she can have this one as an early birthday present, and get your daughter a new one for the holiday.

Op, you were very nice to do that but I think because of hygiene issues you should just write it off now and try to get another one in the sales.

Oh my god stop being a doormat!

See how all I desperately want to know is how @Carrotzen knows she’s 4.

@NanaNelly what 'hygiene' issues? The bikini can be washed for goodness sake.

OP, why on earth did you not tell the kid to go home and find something to wear for the pool there? Just tell her you want it back.

Eh? I also don’t know how you know she’s 4.

I agree; ask for it back. You could wash it and use it but even if you didn’t, it’s the principle. Plus your poor daughter being picked on by this girl 😢 this just adds insult to injury.

Please OP, if in the future you want to lend someone clothes, lend them your own. You should never lend them clothes that belong to someone else - in fact, you should never lend anyone anything if it doesn't belong to you. Just because you may have bought your child something, it does not give you the right to lend it to someone else. You owe your daughter a new bikini, please buy it as soon as possible - to at least the same quality and attractiveness as the last one.

You should buy your DD a new bikini, it’s not fair to expect her to wear that one now.

But you should definitely still ask for it back, it’s not the other girls property. Just go round and say you need it back as you are washing clothes for holiday or washing all the swimwear.

She’s a kid. She probably just likes it. It’s not a big deal to just ask for it back and wash it.

Was it expensive? I once bought a dress in the sale for 5 pounds. I lent it to my neighbor but she didn’t return it. I just let it go for the sake of 5 pounds as she obviously really liked it and wore it a lot. I wasn’t that bothered. So, if it was a cheap bikini that you bought in the supermarket for a few pounds, I wouldn’t care that much. But, if you care, just ask for it back.

They both leave my DD out - and doing it while wearing her new clothes is has stressed me out enough to keep me awake!

Then out your DD first, go and knock, ask for it back. It must be really tough for your DD to see someone whose mean to her wearing her new bathers. Then I'd buy DD a new pair, and not lend her things again. The other girl could have swum in shorts and a t-shirt.

How much was the bikini? If the other child has been wearing it for a week I would just go and buy a new one.

TBH, I'd have said "Sorry, I don't have a spare - she could have gone into the pool in tee-shirt and knickers (you could have lent her an old, long tee-shirt, perhaps).

MNers are such doormats, this isn’t an issue really

Sorry @LunaAndHerMoonDragons - you'd already posted the tee-shirt suggestion - I hadn't realised.

OP - get it back, but buy your DD a new one. Send the other to the charity shop, or dump it.

Your DD deserves new for her birthday,

I'd ask one of the parents for the money for it, as it was a one off loan not a gift to be worn numerous times. I get the feeling you are very young though, so doubt you will.

I get the feeling you are very young though, so doubt you will.

Why do MNers just love to trot this line out like it's the most scathing thing you can say?

A child who left my daughter out wouldn't be in our pool, much less doing so in DD'S new bikini 🙄

Flipping heck. And yes of course charity shops sell that stuff - swimwear, bras, nightwear. Most people have washing machines...

Not sure why you think youthfulness is an insult, most people toughen up as they mature and having to second guess what is suitable in this situation and giving away your DD'S new bikini to a kid who leaves your DD out but you allow to play in your DD'S pool is at best naive.