To ask for DDs bikini back?

[WhoIBU]

Last weekend we got the big pool out in our joint section of garden and filled it for the kids who use it.

Neighbours daughter who is 2 years older than my DD asked me if she could borrow a swimming costume.

She's quite a bit bigger and taller than DD so my only option was to lend her a new bikini I'd bought for holiday. Which my DD has only worn once and is from a decent shop.

I just assumed hers was in the was probably something.

It's now a week later and neighbours child still in my DDs bikini today in the pool.

I feel awkward asking for it back but angry really as I shouldn't be the one feeling awkward.

It's a light colour and I feel like it's now gone from being new to my DD going on holiday with a "used" bikini. Which may well be stretched too.

Should I just write it off as a lesson learned or shall I ask for it back?

There will always be a CF to take advantage. Just ask for it back.

Personally I'd let it go but know never to do it again
I wouldn't give it to my daughter to wear as it's such a personal item of clothing and stretched so basically rendering it useless
Just put it down to experience

THE BIKINI IS BACK!

Might be sexist in this “woke” world but mostly accurate IMO.

Glad it’s back, OP! 😊

Lovely ending, well done OP.

Yes, deny them, or offer something else (like shorts). Did you DD have a previous bikini/swimming costume? Or did DD end up wearing the old one. You could have offered the old one, and if that didn't fit... tough. Why should your DD go without when this girl is friendlier with another child? Ask for it back.

I would let her have it and buy myself or DD a new one. I would have told her in the first place she could have it. I would not want it back but would have given an old one if there was any.

Glad it got resolved OP. You sound like a lovely, normal neighbour who treats others with kindness.

You must be rolling in it if you can afford to give away £12 bikinis to all the neighbourhood kids.

Wow! Mumsnet is a weird place. I have totally lent and borrowed swimsuits for my kids before and I don't know anyone who finds that strange in real life.
You did a kind thing OP - I get why you are now annoyed though. You definitely need to ask for it back now. If they question it (which would be odd) just say its new and your daughter hasn't had a chance to wear it yet but wanted to tomorrow. Or something. No big deal.
I'm sorry people have been so harsh to you on here. You don't deserve that.

Ps, to all those horrified by a shared bikini, I'd bet the bikini would be the last of your worries if you had a good think about what's in that pool water.

Urine, faecal matter, sweat, snot, excretions and hopefully enough chlorine to kill the germs in the aforementioned.

We live in a hot climate and literally have a box of swimmers (for both sexes) and about 20 pool towels for such occasions. Nobody has contracted a dread disease yet.

I don't lend things to neighbours anymore unless they are also good friends in their own right. I had my neighbour's DS (age 4) over a while ago and the kid pooed himself whilst here (despite assurances from his dad that the kid was fully potty trained 🙄). I had to clean him up and lend him a full outfit (tshirt, pants, shorts, even socks) from my own DS. None of it ever came back to me. Nor did the full bottle of calpol I gave them another time when the same child was poorly, or the phone charger DH lent them. I've asked for everything back more than once, got airy apologies and a 'so sorry, we'll drop them round' but nothing was ever returned. Lesson learned.

I was just going to say this….

You’ve borrowed a bikini top AND knickers to a neighbour’s daughter and you want it back? For what, for your daughter to now wear? That’s really foul. I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t share knickers but I guess not

I think you acted with kindness and there should be no problem asking for it back. If it's too big for dd now, let the friend keep it.

Wow cannot believe all the people giving you a hard time over this!! Working with kids you learn some parents are just ( like you) lovely and want all children to be able to enjoy life ; others for financial reasons really cannot do that, and then sadly there’s a third category that don’t give a monkeys and will use other’s generosity. However, whichever category they are in, it’s hardly the child’s fault and I think you did a really kind, sweet thing. One wear would not have ( I assume given probs young age) bothered your own daughter one bit. I suspect she won’t even notice now ( hopefully) but as others have said, you do need to put your foot down now or you probably won’t ever get it back!!!

Why carnt she go in the pool with shorts n shirt on my daughter does sometimes even tho she has a costume

You did the right thing @WhoIBU and I'm glad you got the bikini back.

You talk as though borrowing underwear from a friend is normal. It isn't is it? 😕I've certainly never done it.

Tbh I look at swim wear like underwear, ie I wouldn’t wear a second hand one. I can’t understand why people actually would buy a second hand one off eBay or from a charity shop. I know OPs was new when lent out, but I couldn’t take it back and let my dd wear it after worn by someone else.

even more reason to ask for it back if they leave your daughter out....that sounds like taking the piss.

she could have worn T-shirt and shorts!

But when there's kids excited for a pool and one looks you in the face and asks for a costume what would you do? Deny them?
How did she even know you had one? . Most people wouldn't have a spare bikini for their child that was two sizes bigger.
Bizarre tale...

Def ask for it back just out of principle, but I wouldn’t let dd wear it now. The other child could have swam in shorts and a vest top, or even underwear depending on age. There’s some springs near us and I quite often see little kids just in their knickers paddling.

Ewww! That would be like using someone's underwear! Go buy your daughter new and write this off as YOUR screwup!