To not know what else to do with DM racist comment?

[FluffingMarvellous]

I'm utterly shocked.

Sat watching the news with DM and she randomly comes out with "I hope Rishi Sunak doesn't get PM as it would be awful to have a Muslim PM".

I was so shocked I just stared at her and said "That's completely racist, you can't say that!"

She then said "No its not really. It's political. If he got it, the Muslims would take over the country".

I was completely appalled, told her never to say anything like that to me and certainly not to the children but she just didn't get it.

DM has MH issues so it's v hard to challenge her on anything or it can turn quite nasty. But I still feel like I should have done more, I just don't know what as she's still my DM but I'm so shocked. She's never said anything like that in front of me before although I know she does have some very strongly pro Brexit ideas which almost verge on being anti non British people, but never explicit and only in line with other strongly pro Brexit people (which I'm not here to start a debate about).

Haven't told DH as would literally ban her from ever coming in the house again.

Well, lots of Muslims/brown/black have been through massive upheaval emigrating to the UK, fearful of a future they have no control over, but you don’t see them going around insulting white people in such large numbers, as indicated by the racist enablers ion this thread..

Well if you don't see it then presumably it doesn't happen. Thanks for sharing.

Very well said.

I'm not happy with the idea that it is to be expected that people in their 50, 60s, and 70s and older can't help being racist, sexist, homophobic, etc. What a patronising put-down. Also that they can't understand computers, smart phones, etc. I am 70 and have been anti racist, gay friendly, anti-sexist for over 50 years. And a socialist. So has my partner. I have been writing computer software since 1980. Also we love Grayson Perry and Tracy Emin. This surprised someone in their 30s that we met recently.

Absolutely. It’s incredibly insulting.

Likewise, the notion that "previous generations" were a bunch of bigots. I can think of people like Bertrand Russell, GDH Cole, George Orwell, RH Tawney, and loads more who weren't.

Some of my relatives come out with this kind of stupid stuff. No, I don’t think it’s their generation, plenty of older people are also very accepting. But I don’t cut them out. I just tell them I don’t want to hear that stuff.

Tony Benn too.

Tell her to STFU.

This sounds like my PILs, and recently I was shocked to hear my SIL say something racist too.

I don't cut them off but I do react naturally - with shock that they'd say something like that - and explain why.

I think it stems from ignorance and growing up in all-white villages, and eating a whole Daily Mail for breakfast each day. A white bubble. They are fearful of the things they don't know or understand, especially other cultures and 'forriners'. They've literally never been around anyone who's challenged their views before.

For example, when the Sussexes H&M were expecting, my MIL became bizarrely obsessed over skin colour, saying the only thing everyone wanted to know was if it would 'come out a black baby'. No-one has ever questioned her saying this sort of thing before. But I bloody well did! After all, how else will people change?

This is a very good point. You expressed your disappointment in her comment. Forcibly shutting her down further won't change her views. Only open discussion will.

Brenee Brown has some great stuff on this.

I'm more worried about the fact he's a dickhead 😉

I think it stems from ignorance and growing up in all-white villages, and eating a whole Daily Mail for breakfast each day. A white bubble
I think this is a great point .
It really is in some cases. It's what you grow up with.
I come from one of the said villages. It's what you know, and you grow up knowing no difference.
There can be a lot of ignorance
You have to actively widen your circle, work wise etc by moving to a bigger town and educate yourself on history/cultures

This is close to saying it’s non-racists fault for not educating racists.

Forcibly shutting her down further won't change her views. Only open discussion will.
I hear you, depends on the person though.
Sometimes people are "too far gone" though.
Sometimes shutting down and walking away is the best option.

Well, no. I'm just pointing out that the OP has two options . I agree that OP is not responsible for her mum's views.

Realistically, however, regardless of what is fair, the situation is:

OP can shut her mum down and walk away from the discussion. If her mum is "too far gone", this might be what OP needs. It won't change her mum's opinions, though.

If OP has the energy, she can engage her mum in the manner that @picklemewalnuts suggests. This is the approach that may actually work.

Oh the irony and hypocrisy in your comment....😂

I could also mention that my father (who I have been berated for cutting off) once said, to my sister, of someone very close to me, 'Is Woolwinder still seeing that Jew?'.

It really isn't a generational thing.

I'm sorry if your parents are racist, but their age is no excuse.

I don't think that is beside the point actually, she was stereotyping him on the basis of the colour of his skin. The fact that she got his religion wrong proves the point that trying to stereotype people based on their appearance is not only racist but stupid, and leads you to wrong conclusions.

I wouldn't want a Muslim PM - because I wouldn't want a PM with strong religious views of any religion.

I worked for years with a Muslim who was very relaxed about religion, went to interfaith sessions at synagogues, Christian churches (all types), Hindu and Sikh temples. His philosophy, he said, was 'live and let live' and he admired the Sufis. he also ate pork and drank beer and wine. They aren't all the same. He'd make a very good Prime Minister, I feel, but as he is a Labour supporter that might not be possible for a while.

*he also ate pork and drank beer and wine. They aren't all the same.

Not really a Muslim then. And saying ‘they aren’t all the same’ is really fucking offensive, as if only a pork eating and alcohol drinking nominal Muslim is acceptable. Have a word with yourself.

Well BoJo actively switched to Church of England, but that’s fine isn’t it?

Honestly, so much bigotry n this thread. I hope no Muslims have the misfortune to come across any of you.

Learn to integrate FFS.

Who are you to say who's not really a Muslim? A Muslim friend of mine was very upset once that she might have accidentally eaten a pork sausage roll thinking it was a veggie one. The reason she'd been careless on the sausage roll front was that she was pissed Humans are inconsistent, unpredictable, and don't always follow the rules you think they should.