To not know what else to do with DM racist comment?

[FluffingMarvellous]

I'm utterly shocked.

Sat watching the news with DM and she randomly comes out with "I hope Rishi Sunak doesn't get PM as it would be awful to have a Muslim PM".

I was so shocked I just stared at her and said "That's completely racist, you can't say that!"

She then said "No its not really. It's political. If he got it, the Muslims would take over the country".

I was completely appalled, told her never to say anything like that to me and certainly not to the children but she just didn't get it.

DM has MH issues so it's v hard to challenge her on anything or it can turn quite nasty. But I still feel like I should have done more, I just don't know what as she's still my DM but I'm so shocked. She's never said anything like that in front of me before although I know she does have some very strongly pro Brexit ideas which almost verge on being anti non British people, but never explicit and only in line with other strongly pro Brexit people (which I'm not here to start a debate about).

Haven't told DH as would literally ban her from ever coming in the house again.

Well this is a great example of why you can be racist to Muslims. Because he has brown skin, she assumed he is Muslim and is making assumptions about him.

'Islam is not a race' doesn't work when people are assumed to be Muslim because they have brown skin.

@pickledwalnuts
what you said. Pick it apart and help her realise. Still your mother, though.

We don’t actually know why she thought Rishi Sunak was a Muslim? It’s pure speculation that she’s assumed that based on his ethnicity.

My mum was racist. She was raised by racists who were raised by racists who were raised by racists ad nauseam.
My dad was not racist. Neither were his parents, nor were their parents, ad nauseam.
Racism is learned - it most certainly is generational. You live what you learn.
Thank god we had our dad to guide us.

I always found it interesting how Tony Blair joined the Catholic Church so soon after resigning as Prime Minister, as though a Catholic living in Number 10 would be frowned upon.

I’m not sure what you are trying to say @phishy . Islam is not a race doesn’t have to “work” it’s a fact.

A Catholic being prime minister is very much frowned on.

@Discovereads

We don’t actually know why she thought Rishi Sunak was a Muslim? It’s pure speculation that she’s assumed that based on his ethnicity.

What other reasons do you think would be behind her incorrect assumption about his religion?

Muslims would probably be more respectful of someone her age than many of you.

Why?

I went into that upthread. The "serving a foreign master" trope.

She may

• have been misinformed by someone else (fake news)


• have confused him with someone else (mistaken identity)


• have early dementia as women with poor MH are at high risk of developing it (intrusive thought with no filter)

Good post. Reasonable. Constructive.
No mother being thrown into the street.

I have an Asian friend who said she was afraid Rishi would not be elected because of his race.
I hope that is not the case. I am voting for him because I think he is the best candidate. I thought racism was long gone but obviously not in all walks of life.
Sorry your mum thinks like that maybe you could educate her that we are all equal in race.

"I'm afraid all four of my children's grandparent hold views similar to this. We are not about to cut off the whole family, but we made it clear that things were not to be said in front of the children."

That's the most important thing I think. Your mother is racist. You aren't. So in your family, the racism will die out, as long as you do your best to stop your children getting infected by avoiding exposure to it at a young age and "vaccinating" them by teaching them to think critically when they're old enough, so that they can successfully fend off any toxic attitudes from peers and orhers who had the misfortune to be raised racist. If this situation is replicated on a population level then the "R number" will be <1 and, in the end, racism will be extinct or at least struggle along at a much lower level.

It's great to hurry up the racism extinction process by helping turn those who can be helped, or at least trying to turn the racism down a little notch or two from whatever "level" they started at (ie maybe still a carrier but at least shedding fewer racism particles??) but I think the most important thing is protecting/arming children against it, to keep the population shifting towards racism-free.

I think , yes. The care company would have been behaving in a racist, sexist and probably unlawful manner in acceding to this request

I think op, that people are allowed their own opinions however odious you may find them.You are not the thought police

Tony Blair was always open about being Catholic. His children went to a Catholic Secondary School.

To all the people saying it’s racist, Muslim isn’t a race. She’s actually being Islamophobic.

Personally I wouldn’t want anybody with strong religious views of any sort to be the PM as I think it might cloud their judgement. But I don’t know anything about Rishi’s beliefs or lack thereof. I just don’t like him because of his policies.

If I remember correctly, Tony Blair didn’t officially become a Catholic until after his term ended.

I don't think he shouted about it but I certainly remember it being mentioned at the time and he sent his children to Catholic school

@FluffingMarvellous I have read all your posts but not the full thread.

How does your mum feel about other religions that have elements of being the only true religion, a history of converting people and a history of influencing society to fit in with the core beliefs of that religion such as Christianity?

Some people strongly believe that religion and politics should be kept separate and that is completely different from racism.

Some people have a strong belief that religious and spiritual beliefs are a personal decision and should be kept to yourself and not forced onto other people who have their own beliefs.

And some people have had negative experiences of other people trying to convert them to such and such religion. So they develop a distrust of all fundamentalist religions whether they be Muslim or Christian etc.

Maybe get to the bottom of what she really believes before labelling her a racist. It is a very serious accusation to make. You could be right and she might be racist. But just make sure that that really is the case before you label her.

Sorry have just seen the posts saying he’s actually Hindu (or was raised as such). I thought what the OP’s mum said was based on knowledge that she had of him being Muslim. If she was actually just assuming his religion based on what he looks like, then yeah, racist.

I think op means it makes it harder to challenge her.

It’s not sexist to ask for female care workers, especially when there is an element of personal care involved. I have requested it for dim in the past. As a manager it would be easier to just change it up this