To not know what else to do with DM racist comment?

[FluffingMarvellous]

I'm utterly shocked.

Sat watching the news with DM and she randomly comes out with "I hope Rishi Sunak doesn't get PM as it would be awful to have a Muslim PM".

I was so shocked I just stared at her and said "That's completely racist, you can't say that!"

She then said "No its not really. It's political. If he got it, the Muslims would take over the country".

I was completely appalled, told her never to say anything like that to me and certainly not to the children but she just didn't get it.

DM has MH issues so it's v hard to challenge her on anything or it can turn quite nasty. But I still feel like I should have done more, I just don't know what as she's still my DM but I'm so shocked. She's never said anything like that in front of me before although I know she does have some very strongly pro Brexit ideas which almost verge on being anti non British people, but never explicit and only in line with other strongly pro Brexit people (which I'm not here to start a debate about).

Haven't told DH as would literally ban her from ever coming in the house again.

Terrible advice. It's this type of stuff that causes divisions.

I hear you OP. I have a whole family who spout racist shite. I'm very low contact.

Besides, is RS even Muslim anyway? If he's not, shows how much she know about anything anyway.

@ilovesooty

Yes you are probably right . My parents are late seventies and don't say outright racist comments but some of mums sayings passed down from her parents couldn't be said today .

Never ever ever would I say a racist is right!

Too many people want to control what everyone else thinks and says. Where does it stop?

No one has to put up with racist comments.

I would dread being a fly on a wall in your home <shudders>

I'm afraid all four of my children's grandparent hold views similar to this. We are not about to cut off the whole family, but we made it clear that things were not to be said in front of the children.

Now they are young adults and have formed their own (non racist) views things are said a little more freely. But if they want to show themselves up in front of their grandchildren there is really nothing we can do. We are quite clear in our views and they know how we feel.

Why should someone let hate speech and racism happen in front of them without challenge?

It's racist because she was saying it based on his ethnicity, not necessarily because of his religion - she assumed he was Muslim because of race.

Would she think the same way about a white muslim? If it's the religion she has an issue with, rather than skin colour, I wouldn't think it racist, but definitely bigoted. Does she care that he's Hindu and would she worry about Hindus "taking over"?

I think I'd ask her exactly what the issue is to see whether it's some sort of bigotry towards a religion, or whether it really is his skin colour that is the issue here.

Either way, it's not the U.S.A, religion is not a major factor in any of our politics, so maybe try and see what she says to that.

I know a few people who’ve said similar about Sunak. I put them down to being rather dim and believing conspiracy theories that a Muslim MP would immediately bring in Sharia law. Although, I think you might be over reacting a bit - some people are too old to be willing to change and there’s nothing you can do. My 89yo grandad comes out with some shocking things. I just smile and change the subject. Utterly pointless challenging him.

I mean is Sunak even a Muslim?! Or do some people just assume everyone with brown skin is Muslim?

Rishi Sunak is Hindu, and his heritage is Indian. The fact that his skin tone is brown doesn't make him Muslim

No. No, he's not Muslim - he's Hindu. But are we actually saying in this country there are certain religions that should disqualify you from ever having a position of power? I guess that's where it becomes a political rather than 'race' debate....but the lines are very blurred aren't they. Just doesn't sit right with me at all.

OP sorry it's awful, my SD used to say the most awful things to me growing up. He spouted racist comments but his then behind his sarcasm.

Unfortunately you are unlikely to change her mindset but at least you challenged her.

Never underestimate just how many white supremacists we have in the UK. Sad but true

I hate the phrase 'Britain's not ready for...' which I've seen used recently. It's so mealy mouthed .

A very wise post. All these I would never speak to this person again type posts, how exactly is that going to get people to change their mind?

I agree
you could just keep asking , why?
why do you think Muslims would take over the country?
why would him being PM make that happen?
and of course, why do you think he's Muslim?
if you go straight to 'that's racist' the response will only be 'you can't say anything these days'

I don't understand this op. In your whole life you have never heard her say anything like this before by your own account. Sunak cannot be the first person of colour she has come across. What about MM, Kemi B, did you never have a black friend? What has happened to her?

I don’t think it was racist but religious intolerance as she is objecting to a Muslim PM. Still wrong, but not racism. But if you ask her, what if Liz Truss were Muslim? And she says “well that’s alright then” then you’d be able to say she was being both religiously intolerant and racist.

Firstly I think you should ask your mother why she thinks he is Muslim? He isn't
Then ask her why she thinks a Muslim shouldn't be Prime Minister and what religion should the prime minister be and why. Her answers should take out her actual beliefs and maybe she will acknowledge that she is being racist.
If not it might at least make her think about what she is saying and why.

so hes not a muslim for starters ask her if that makes a difference

if i were your dh i wouldnt want her anywhere near me

It stops, or it should stop, when the majority of people accept that racist comments are not acceptable.

I suspect that you are white, middle aged or older and vote conservative.

Muslim is nota race. She’s a bigot and probably racist but what she said was a fear of Islam not brown.
Do you know why?

Excellent post.