To not know what else to do with DM racist comment?

[FluffingMarvellous]

I'm utterly shocked.

Sat watching the news with DM and she randomly comes out with "I hope Rishi Sunak doesn't get PM as it would be awful to have a Muslim PM".

I was so shocked I just stared at her and said "That's completely racist, you can't say that!"

She then said "No its not really. It's political. If he got it, the Muslims would take over the country".

I was completely appalled, told her never to say anything like that to me and certainly not to the children but she just didn't get it.

DM has MH issues so it's v hard to challenge her on anything or it can turn quite nasty. But I still feel like I should have done more, I just don't know what as she's still my DM but I'm so shocked. She's never said anything like that in front of me before although I know she does have some very strongly pro Brexit ideas which almost verge on being anti non British people, but never explicit and only in line with other strongly pro Brexit people (which I'm not here to start a debate about).

Haven't told DH as would literally ban her from ever coming in the house again.

Happens everyday of the week , no-one I know would bat an eyelid over such a thing
Maybe you and your mates /family wouldn't bat an eyelid over such a thing, but some of us do care about racism.
I just don't want to fucking hear it, and if I do hear it I try and call it out as much as I can.
Not to be "self flagellating" 🙄 , have your opinions by all means, but if it's racist shit keep it up yourself.

That should read to yourself, thanks autocorrect!
Although up yourself works too 😁

@hattie43

MN is a different planet to the one I'm on , all this self flagellation for the most basic of statements . Mum says something you don't like / agree with hell just move on . Happens everyday of the week , no-one I know would bat an eyelid over such a thing .

Despicable. I hope no Muslim is exposed to you and your friends’ racism.

Why would she assume he's a Muslim then?

@phishy

I'm not referring to Muslims I'm talking about the OP turning herself into ridiculous knots about something her mum is supposed to have said .

Having the view that black, or brown people are inferior is never ok, or understandable to me. Neither should it be to anyone else.

And this is why racism will always exist. Because too many people are not bothered by it, because it does not affect them, so they are ok with not challenging it when they hear such comments. Many are racist themselves anyway.

Who said they have to be respectful in the face of racism?

What I was commenting on is the awful proposed treatment of your own mothers and fathers eg banned from your house forever, thrown out into the street and so on. Some are competing to demonstrate the ferocity of their committment to anti racism feelings. That's just showy virtue signalling.
And that treatment of elderly relatives would shock a Muslim.

"I hope no Muslim is exposed to you and your friends’ racism."

Yet we have to accept the sexism from Islam. As well as homophobia etc. As a woman I will defend my right to speak out against some of Islamic teachings. As I would fundamental Christians. It's irrelevant because Sunak is a Hindu, as said. It is political and it's fine to express concerns that any leader will be influenced by their religious beliefs. During Covid the Muslim council was under fire for not addressing that services for women stopped but not men, during Covid. There's been Muslim men standing for councils etc who didn't think that women needed to vote as an individual. Why should we ignore some of the issues within Islam?
It is wrong that she assumed his religion based on colour. The region his Parents/GPs are from are predominantly Christian.

"Muslims would probably be more respectful of someone her age than many of you."

Yet the reports of life for older people in many Muslim regions and when Islam is taking over as the dominant religion, doesn't show that.

My DM would say something like this. When she does I just don't engage. She's from a different time and uneducated on lots of things, not an excuse but she's not going to change and she's my mum so I choose to ignore it.

Racism and xenophobia have always existed and will always exist, it's human nature. Most people prefer to be surrounded by people who look and sound like them.

I was totally shocked when a visiting relative called Meghan Markle a 'darky'. I knew they had some strange ideas but I didn't know they were that bad. I asked them to leave my house. I will not be speaking to them again. My own father, when he heard that my daughter's fiance was Asian, said 'How will you feel when you have a coffee-coloured grandchild?'. I now have four lovely grandsons, and I didn't speak to my father for the last 20 years of his life.

What a terrible thing to do , ostracise your father for 20 yrs for something he wouldn't understand was wrong . Massively unfair .

See, in woolwinders shoes, I'd have answered "I wouldn't care at all, why would I?"
If he still had a problem with it, then there'd definitely be a problem I couldn't just ignore.

I'd hazard a guess there was more to it…

I would’ve just challenged it and opened up a discussion? Everyone is entitled to their views, however unsavoury they may be.

I think the whole “I don’t want to hear it/la la la/blocking ears/you’re a bigot” approach simply fuels the victim mentality and a sense of self-righteousness in such people.

If she has concerns is she not entitled to them even if they are wrong?

Ive challenged some really stupid ideas that family members and friends have had about race/religion/nationality. I’ve been challenged too and been wrong. So what?

Why wouldn’t he understand it was wrong? Of course he would know it’s wrong. People like this just believe they can say what they like without consequence.

everyone I know would bat an eyelid to such a RACIST comment

thank god I don’t know you or your circle in real life

Why was it on the daughter to reach out? The father could have thought about what he said, come back and apologised at any time over the 20 years. However his racist beliefs were obviously dearer to him than his own family
How sad.

Exactly this

the father had a sense of superiority purely based on race - and felt he could act in any way and say anything he liked - even in relation to his own family

he knew exactly what he was doing and didn’t care

Everyone is entitled to their views, however unsavoury they may be.

You really think Muslims would be able to express such racist views about white people and people like would shrug and say free speech?

Yeah right, pull the other one.

@Namechanger355

Quite . Not sure you'd fit in .

You wouldn't be wrong. In fact I started to dislike him aged 7.

I said 'I wouldn't care if the child had red and green stripes, as you very well know', and he said 'You're full of ideas you got from your lefty friends'.