To think if you borrow something you should return it?

[justawoman93]

Me and DH lent out a piece of equipment that cost us £100 to what I thought was a good friend.
The other day DH needed it to do a job, reliezed friend hadn't returned it. So I messaged her asking for it back to be told she had sold it saying she thought it was hers and didn't relieze it was our item. (She knew full well it was a loan I have texts of her asking to borrow it)

She hasn't offered the money for said item and simply starting complaining she's skint and has no money (don't we all right now)

AIBU to be very pissed off? I'm not even sure I want to remain friends with her now as she clearly doesn't respect our friendship enough or am I being a bit over the top?

I'm really disappointed as I don't usually lend out things unless I can trust said person and she's completely broken my trust but on the other hand she is going through a bit of a rough time right now so I feel guilty for being angry. We can't afford to replace the piece of equipment that's been sold either so now the job will have to wait a couple of months which again is something that needed to be done quite quickly.

How long did she have it for? Yanbu.

Tell her to buy another and give it to you.

You need to ask for the money. That's so cheeky. Sorry, not cheeky. It's theft!

YABU not to phrase your question, “AIBU to not call the police regarding this theft?”

I would be telling her I expect the item to be replaced asap - it wasn't hers to sell. Then I would distance myself from them

You’d borrow someone else’s property and sell it?

OP can you borrow one from someone else to get the job done?

She obviously hoped you wouldn’t ask for it back. She lied and I wouldn’t want a friend like that but at least you know what you’re dealing with.

She had it for three weeks and sold it. It's not like she had it for months on end.

She’s not a friend. I am disgusted on your behalf. I couldn’t be friends with someone like that. I feel really sorry for you. Your too good for her.

You would borrow someone else's property then sell it?

You'd sell your friends items after borrowing it for 3 weeks? What?

YANBU and I would be annoyed too!

It wasn't hers to sell and she knew it
Appreciate she may be going through a hard time but she's made things harder for you now

I would let it go, as it's not going to bring the item back but friendship might be a bit awkward for a bit and you may not even want to keep in touch

Can anyone lend you the item or can you hire it just to get the job done?

Can't believe pp saying they would do the same! Who sells things their friends lend them?!

How long did your friend have the item for?

Three weeks it is reasonable to think she should have remembered to return after she had finished with it, three years probably not. How old was it? She could at least pass on the proceeds.

Yanbu

Your friend is a thief

YANBU

I have a friend who has borrowed things from me and then convinced herself that they're hers. It's very frustrating and I've promised myself that I won't lend her anything again.

Literately for 3 weeks.

I don't want to borrow the item off anyone else, I don't like borrowing off people kind of ironic when I lend my own things out. I feel so stupid. Friend was going on about their money troubles trying to gain sympathy I feel but I just have zero sympathy after this! I'm still annoyed and it's been over a day.

It was yours, she should have used it, saved to get her own and returned is asap.
If is was borrowed for a long time its still her responsibilty to give the item back soon as possible so the lenght of time she held is no excuse.

Is she is knew when she got it that she had to give it back. She is a CF to have sold it and then not offer to pay you back asap as an when she can afford it.

Send her the texts that prove she asked to borrow it then tell her it's theft and you want your money back and you don't care how skint she is or you're taking legal action.

You really can't let it go. She's utterly taken the piss. Not only that but she think you are stupid. She thought it was hers three weeks after she asked to borrow it. Yeah. Right.

Literally unbelievable..

YANBU

Her behaviour was really out of order
I would ask again for the money

Shocking. Ask for the money back or a replacement

If she says no then no longer be friends

How can you possibly say that?
Obviously yanbu OP. I don't care how tough things are, you don't sell other people's property.
You've lost a friend now anyway, so I'd be pushing her to buy a replacement or give you the money for one.

I think her behaviour was disgusting.

If she had phrased her original request as 'do you have an old jet washer that you don't use any more that I could have' then it was maybe ok for her to sell it

If she clearly asked to borrow it then that's a completely different matter. Borrow always means you're going to return it. Disgusting. No matter how hard a time she is having, you don't scam your friends.

X post.
Stay angry. Tell her you don't give a shit about her money troubles. She stole your property and she either pays you for it or she'll be having legal troubles too.