AIBU to expect a lift from the airport at 4am when someone is passing near my area?
Lis1992 · 20/07/2022 22:51
Hi all. This is my first time posting so forgive me if it’s in the wrong place or I miss something! I’m just back from a vacation with a friend. We did 10 days at an all inclusive resort in Spain. For the entire trip (pretty much from the beginning) I got the vibe she didn’t want to be there. She complained about the sun, heat etc (it was Spain in July) and I understand that as it was hot of course. But she was annoyed when I wanted to enjoy some sun by the pool and read my books. So I offered to do stuff during the day and she’d snap and say no way how silly was that in the hottest part of the day etc. I asked her to rub sun cream on my back as I’d done for her and she’d sigh and roll her eyes etc that she had to go through the effort of moving to do so. In addition she had insisted on sharing a room for costs. She told that she didn’t snore. The reality was she snores horribly loudly. She fell asleep instantly and snored with unbearable volume for the whole night. I was chronically sleep deprived and it was really frustrating after paying so much for the trip.
I felt I was constantly accommodating her and she was doing the same back. I saw flash up on her phone when she was sitting beside me and she was texting her mom about me and said I was ‘too fussy and she didn’t like it’ and obviously lots more that I couldn’t see. She also slagged me off for not liking big crowds but she knew that before we went and I didn’t think she’d mock me for it as I had confided in her. She also snapped at me about a meal we had split the bill for , as she said her meal only cost whatever amount. I felt this was unfair as I’d been quite generous with buying us drinks etc on the holiday and hadn’t asked for anything back.
She had a lift home from the airport from her mom. the flight was very late (landed at 4am after a long delay). I waited with her in the terminal so she wouldn’t be standing alone. When her mother arrived she barely acknowledged me- no asking did you have a good trip, how was the flight etc. Instead of offering a lift as I live along their route home, I was left head towards taxis. As a woman at 4am with the steps of airport inky blank in darkness and deserted. I’d know her mother quite well but she was horribly cold to me and said : ‘you take care now’ in such a dismissive tone as though as I was somehow in the wrong.
I literally spent my holiday placating her and trying to help her enjoy it and cope better with the heat etc. So down I walked to my taxi with tears in my eyes. It’s hard to describe but nobody has ever made me feel that small before. To add insult to injury, they didn’t wait with me for a taxi even though I’d waited for her lift to arrive. There was no text from my friend at all to say did you get home safe. In the end I was waiting two hours for a taxi and it cost me just under 100 euro to get home. AIBU to think a lift home from the airport could have been offered to me?
I’d have given petrol money of course. Only last week I gave her a lovely gift for her bday (even though I got none for mine) and gave her mom a bottle of expensive wine for hosting the party too. I was never thanked for either gift. I just feel so upset over what’s happened and I actually blocked them both on what’s app as I’m just sickened by it all right now. Surely for her mom to treat me so horribly- she was telling lies that I wasn't being nice on the holiday or something? Whereas the opposite is true I was so nice and supportive of her needs as I hate conflict and didn’t want any tension. Sorry I’m going off topic! and I’m sorry if it’s too long it’s my first post!! Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
PinkiOcelot · 20/07/2022 22:54
How did you actually end up going on holiday with her in the first place?
That was awful about the lack of lift though.
FetchezLaVache · 20/07/2022 22:55
I voted YANBU because I can't imagine abandoning a friend (or my daughter's friend) at the airport at 4am when it wouldn't be out of my way to drop her home! Don't know their side of the story of course, but they both sound quite ungracious. Fair to say the friendship's run its course?
easyday · 20/07/2022 22:57
Well my 'thought' is that this isn't your friend. I'd back way off from her, and her mother.
Thing is this reads like you guys are teenagers on your first I'll matched holiday - but you both have kids? If so why did you go away together and not with your families?
Anyway, yes, terrible that the mother didn't offer you a lift. Shame on them, but stop being a doormat and drop them.
AllFreeOwls · 20/07/2022 22:58
They don't sound like they are your friends OP.
Crotonifolia · 20/07/2022 23:00
I can only imagine what your "friend" was telling her mother over the course of your holiday. I wouldn't leave anyone standing at the airport when i could easily drop them off at home. YANBU.
Gaveitall · 20/07/2022 23:01
Don’t give these awful selfish people another thought.
Rise above it, carry on being your lovely self, perhaps not be quite so trusting in future, block them until the end of time, if you see them in the street be cool but polite and …..
teaorcoffee6 · 20/07/2022 23:02
Wow what a nasty piece of work.
As for the mother she's evidently no better.
I couldn't even leave someone I didn't like alone to get a taxi when I was passing theirs anyway.
The guilt would get the better of me.
What horrible people. I'd never speak to her again.
PintofPlain · 20/07/2022 23:03
Yes, my first question is why you went on holiday with someone you don’t seem to know very well, and, it turns out, don’t like very much? As a pp said, this reads like teenagers on their first holiday, rather than people old enough to go better. Obviously she sounds unpleasant from your account, and leaving you to find a taxi was ungracious, but it sounds as if she also found you trying on holiday — do you not know one another that well? How did you end up going on holiday together if so?
KeyErro · 20/07/2022 23:04
Did you ask for a lift back or were you just waiting for them to offer? Why did you wait if you were expecting to take a taxi?
I think you're judging the mum quite harshly, nobody wants a chat at 4am.
Sounds like you don't articulate your needs well then come across as bitter and resentful.
Didn't you discuss in advance how you'd be spending your days?
Justcallmebebes · 20/07/2022 23:04
I agree that was awful treatment by them both. To leave you to get a taxi when they were going your way. Awful. I'd block and never speak to her again. I'm raging on your behalf
Discovereads · 20/07/2022 23:05
YANBU. You need real friends.
Stargazing56 · 20/07/2022 23:05
Well your friend was clearly slagging you off so the mum was never going to offer a lift.
I also don’t think they should of had to give a lift either. It was 4am and their was a taxi rank right there.
BMW6 · 20/07/2022 23:05
Yeah, bin that "friendship". Don't fret about it, just move on.
fruitypancake · 20/07/2022 23:07
What a nasty pair- you deserve better. Can understand why so upsetting - definitely not a friend !
StoneofDestiny · 20/07/2022 23:08
Puzzled how you ended up on holiday with this person, who is clearly no friend of yours.
Leaving you at the airport was nasty.
hobbledyhoy · 20/07/2022 23:10
Yeah, chalk this down to experience and don't waste anymore energy pursuing the friendship or worrying about it. Pretty bad form to leave someone without a lift when you know you'll be driving past, never mind at 4am. It sounds like there have been a lot of stories sent back home to her mum whilst you were away.
Lis1992 · 20/07/2022 23:13
Hi. None of us have children. I joined the forum as I’m planning a pregnancy and I saw some of the threads have advice
on preparing for pregnancy, nutrition etc.
Lis1992 · 20/07/2022 23:13
Sorry I can’t work out how to use this site yet 🙈 I was clarifying in relation to a previous post asking if we have children and wanted to explain I’m at the pregnancy planning stage and none of us have kids. Thanks.
CustardCreamsAndMintTea · 20/07/2022 23:16
Hello! Don't get too down about this. We all have these mismatched shitty holidays when we are young. You will have better in the future! For whatever reason, You didn't get on on holiday together. Don't waste your time playing the blame game.
What is SHIT, was leaving you at an airport at 4am, when they are going your way anyway. Even if you had been the worst, nastiest holiday companion in the world, the rules are: you don't leave a woman to get home alone if you can help it.
Please please, don't enter into discussion with this person and end up in the same situation. They are selfish and don't understand about friendship. Ditch them!
toohottohandlebar · 20/07/2022 23:17
She's clearly been texting her mum while you've been away bitching about you. The mum is bang out of order for not offering to give you a lift. Lesson: she's not a friend.
Lis1992 · 20/07/2022 23:17
I waited so my friend wouldn’t be alone while waiting on her lift. Also, no not a chat. She drove to the airport she was well alert. No effort to say how was your flight /holiday. I can read people well and it was very obvious that this wasn’t just someone not being chatty at 4am, as you can see from my thread.
OliveHenry · 20/07/2022 23:17
How did you both get to the airport? Perhaps if you made your own way there, she assumed you'd make your own way home.
It doesn't really excuse her though - I could never leave someone alone like that even if they lived in the opposite direction, let alone on my route home!
BugsInTheBed · 20/07/2022 23:18
It does very much sound as though YANBU but I suspect if we heard her story of the trip we might say she WNBU!
It doesn't sound like you were well matched for the trip .
One thing i hate it when people want to split the bill if Ive eaten significantly less or ordered smaller bits. I would just agree before the holiday to each pay our own way or it gets confusing personally! She was obviously expecting something different.
I've been on holiday with a close friend before and realisd our expectations were so radically different!
Luredbyapomegranate · 20/07/2022 23:19
That sounds like a nightmare holiday and yes it’s incredibly rude not to give you a lift,
This woman sounds horrendous. Just block and move on.
BugsInTheBed · 20/07/2022 23:20
I get a bit defensive if I think someone's messed my daughter around. I guess from her perspective (rightly or wrongly) that's how she sees it. I guess if you dont know what you did that irritated her Id just move on and think you're not compatible.
Has she contacted you at all?
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